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Season 11, Episode 251: Goodbye, Farewell, and Amen
Original Air Date: 2/28/83
Written by: Alan Alda, Burt Metcalfe, John Rappaport, Dan Wilcox & Thad Mumford, Elias Davis & David Pollock, Karen Hall
Directed by: Alan Alda
This episode opens in a location we've never seen--the Army psychiatric hospital where Sidney Freedman works. We find him in the middle of a session with a patient, except the patient is...Hawkeye.
Sidney is trying to get to the bottom of something that happened involving a trip most of the camp took to the beach. But Hawkeye is in no mood to talk--all he's interested in is getting out, pronto. When everyone back at the 4077th calls him to lift his spirits, that's all he talks about to them, as well.
There's rumors of the peace talks progressing, to the point of ending the war once and for all. Margaret seems so confident that she starts planning what she's going to be doing after the war, which initially involves her working at an administrative post in Tokyo.
She tries to share her good news with Winchester, who is less than interested--partly because he's learned that his application to be Chief of Thoracic Surgery in Boston may be turned down, but mostly because he's suffering from a stomach ailment, causing an acute bout of intestinal distress.
All this is tabled when a tank comes tearing onto the compound, flailing wildly, eventually crashing into the Latrine, causing Winchester to wander off, panicked.
Margaret begins to berate the tank driver, but when he emerges from it, she sees he's severely wounded. Soon, she is assisting Col. Potter in OR working on the young man.
Meanwhile, the construction of the new Latrine is going so slowly (what would you expect, with Igor in charge?) that Winchester is forced to use, as Col. Potter so delicately puts it, "The ravine latrine."
Left with no other options, Winchester heads out into the woods, where he runs into five North Korean soldiers. He begs for mercy, until he sees what they are carrying aren't guns, but...musical instruments. "By God, they're musicians", he says to himself, astonished. They follow Winchester back to the 4077th, looking to turn themselves in.
Back at the hospital, Sidney and Hawkeye continue to talk, and Hawkeye admits that on the bus they took home, there was a wounded solider. Sidney wonders why Hawkeye didn't mention this before, but Hawkeye has no answers.
Meanwhile, Margaret has Klinger write a telegram to an old friend back at Boston Hospital, looking to help Winchester land his dream job. She's interrupted by Soon Lee, who needs Klinger's help in finding her still-missing parents. They are both interrupted by Col. Potter, who demands Klinger call I-Corps to get help removing the giant tank, still in the middle of the compound.
Winchester, back at the Swamp, tries to listen to some classical music. Its drowned out by the North Korean musicians, and when he demands they stop, they surprise him by playing some Mozart. They're so good it stops Winchester in his tracks, stunned, unable to move even as wounded arrive.
A few days later, B.J. gets a surprise letter from I-Corps--orders to head home! He tells Col. Potter, who thinks it must be some sort of snafu. B.J., afraid to ask I-Corps any further questions, begs to let go. Potter makes him a deal--if B.J. can find a replacement, then he's free to go.
Suddenly, artillery starts to fall, and everyone hides under the tables in the Mess Tent. Unfortunately, all the P.O.W.s imprisoned in the makeshift cell in the compound are sitting ducks. As the bombs get closer, Father Mulcahy runs outside to free them.
He succeeds, but he's too close when one bomb hits, knocking Mulcahy to the ground. Later, B.J. examines him, and Mulcahy learns he's damaged a part of his inner ear. Which, B.J. warns, might lead to Mulcahy losing his hearing completely. Mulcahy, scared to be sent home (and unwilling to leave the orphans "in the lurch"), makes B.J. promise not to tell anyone else.
Meanwhile, Hawkeye starts to slowly reveal what happened that night on the bus--he tells Sidney they came across a North Korean patrol, so they had to turn off the lights and be completely quiet until they pass. Everyone does so, except for a squawking chicken sitting on the lap of a Korean woman. She unable to keep it quiet, endangering everyone's lives.
Back at the 4077th, Soon Lee is determined to keep searching for her parents, even in dangerous areas. Klinger tries to talk her out of it, but she won't listen. Meanwhile, B.J. keeps pestering him to find a replacement surgeon so he can go home.
A day or so later, B.J. comes to visit Hawkeye, but its tense and awkward. B.J. obliquely mentions going home, but when it sets Hawkeye off he clams up about his orders home. When B.J. mentions his daughter Erin, it sends Hawkeye into a raving talking jag, which unnerves B.J. so much he gets Sidney.
Sidney starts an impromptu session, and B.J. departs, but not before awkwardly saying goodbye--realizing it might be the last time he ever sees him.
Sidney and Hawkeye talk, and it eventually comes back to talking about the bus and the chicken. Hawkeye reveals that the woman smothered the chicken to keep it quiet, reducing Hawkeye to anguished tears.
Sidney at first can't understand why this upsets Hawkeye so, until he reveals it wasn't a chicken the woman smothered...it was her own baby. The woman smothered her own baby to save everyone else's life.
Hawkeye is angry and disgusted that Sidney drew that memory out of him, but Sidney says this is good news: "Now we're halfway home."
A couple of days later, Hawkeye assumes he's heading home, but Sidney has disappointing news: he's going back to the 4077th. Hawkeye crumples up the letter to his father telling him he's coming home, tossing it away.
Back at the 4077th, Klinger arranges a flight for B.J. home, having scheduled a replacement surgeon--a Dr. Arnie Jacobsen--to arrive the next day. A chopper arrives, delivering mail. When he mentions he's headed to Kimpo, B.J. bums a ride with him--even though that means he has to leave in five minutes.
With so little time, B.J. only has the chance to give everyone a cursory goodbye. He tries to write a letter to Hawkeye, but can't think of what to say. He finally asks Margaret to talk to Hawkeye for him. Margaret tearfully hugs B.J. goodbye.
Potter watches as B.J.'s boards the chopper, just as Klinger finds him, telling him that I-Corps has rescinded B.J.'s orders. Potter pretends not to hear this, and watches B.J. depart.
As Hawkeye makes his way back to the 4077th, we watch Winchester train his North Korean musicians in the art of classical music, Klinger continue to try and help Soon Lee find her parents, and Margaret accept another offer as to what she's going to do after the war is over.
Wounded arrive just as Hawkeye returns, and he is floored to hear B.J. has left for home. His replacement, Capt. Jacobsen, hasn't arrived either, meaning the 4077th is short handed.
Hawkeye is slow to get back to the old routine. Margaret asks what's wrong, and Hawkeye asks "What could be wrong? I'm about to stick my hands into a kid whose insides look like raw meat loaf, I found out my best friend went home without leaving me so much as a damn note..."
Margaret interrupts, apologizing for B.J., saying how bad he felt about doing that, but Hawkeye cuts her off: "Trapper left without leaving a note, too...is it the war that stinks, or me?"
After the long session in OR, bombs start to fall again. After hiding in a sandbag-fortified Post Op, Hawkeye has had enough--he bolts out onto the compound, ducking artillery blasts. He jumps into the tank, and drives it off into the camp garbage dump, a mile or two away. He returns to the compound to a round of applause...except from Col. Potter and Margaret, who think they need to put in a call to Sidney.
Meanwhile, Soon Lee has taken off to search for her parents, into dangerous areas. Klinger finds her, and promises he will help her find her parents, no matter what. Soon Lee agrees, and heads back to the 4077th with him.
That night, Col. Potter and Klinger spy a fiery glow coming from the hills. Klinger thinks its the sunset, but Potter realizes they're looking east, not west--its a massive forest fire, started by all the falling artillery.
This causes the 4077th to bug out, and move the whole camp down the road. Once they get there, they are met by their new surgeon--B.J.
Turns out that once I-Corps realized their error, they found B.J. in an airport in Guam, and sent him right back to Korea. As frustrated as he is, he's happy to see Hawkeye back. He apologizes to Hawkeye for not leaving a note, but Hawkeye gives him a sarcastic reply.
That night, Klinger reveals his deep feelings for Soon Lee, and asks her to marry him. She accepts, but mentions that she can't leave Korea until she finds her parents. Even after Klinger responds "that could be months...years", she remains adamant. At an impasse, Klinger departs.
The next day, the camp has a picnic for the kids in the local orphanage, and Sidney arrives to talk to Hawkeye. Hawkeye admits to being terrified to perform surgery again.
A few days later, Winchester's North Korean musicians are shipped out, over his protestations. With a truce seemingly near, all the POWs are being shipped out. Winchester, sad but accepting, watches the truck they're in depart down the road, as the five musicians play Mozart, the sound getting quieter and quieter.
Heading back to the Swamp, Winchester is stopped in his tracks when the P.A. makes an announcement: the truce has been signed, hostilities will end in 12 hours: "The war is over!"
Just as everyone breaks into hysterical cheers, wounded arrive, snapping the 4077th back to work. Amid the chaos, Potter announces I-Corps wants them back to their original location, with the bug out commencing after the session in OR.
Making their way back, everyone is sad to see their former home burnt to a crisp, with the metal hospital left charred and stained. Potter takes a look around, and then announces, "Okay, boys and girls...let's go to work."
The next day, everyone goes through their last OR session, where they talk about what the first thing is they want when they get home. They are discouraged as they listen to reporter Robert Pierpoint give the sad totals of the war--how many dead, how many wounded, how many left homeless, how much money spent.
During a break, Hawkeye and B.J. talk in the Mess Tent, where Hawkeye admits the only thing he's going to miss about the 4077th is B.J. B.J. promises to keep in contact, "One year Peg and I will come east", but his tone underlines the uncertainty they both feel about ever seeing each other again.
Hawkeye mocks B.J. a bit over this, trying to get him to actually say the word "goodbye." B.J. refuses, and walks off.
More wounded arrive, and Winchester does triage. He is stunned when he sees one of the wounded--who is inevitably going to die from his injuries--is one of the North Korean musicians. He asks what happened to the rest, but is grimly told the one lying before him, "Is the only one that made it this far."
Crushed, he wanders into the Swamp and puts on some Mozart. He listens to it for a few seconds, then angrily grabs the record, smashing it into pieces.
As the session in OR continues, Sidney quietly follows asks how Hawkeye is doing. When Hawkeye feels confident enough to work on a small wounded child, Sidney knows Hawkeye will be fine.
As he makes his exit, he says goodbye to everyone. He stops at the door, turns, and says, "You know I told you people something a long time ago, and its just as pertinent today as it was then: ladies and gentlemen, take my advice--pull down your pants, and slide on the ice." With that, Sidney Freedman departs.
Moments later, the official end of the war is heard when the guns go silent. Robert Pierpoint announces: "There it is--that's the sound of Peace." Everyone pauses for a moment, then goes back to work.
The next night--the last night they'll have together--the 4077th holds a huge dinner in the Mess Tent to announce what each of them will be doing once they get home.
Col. Potter goes first, saying he'll be a semi-retired country doctor, but most of the time, he'll be "Mrs. Potter's Mr. Potter." Kellye follows, saying she's found a position in a hospital back home in Honolulu.
Rizzo announces his plans to breed frogs for french restaurants, much to everyone's hysterics. Hawkeye follows, planning to return to Crabapple Cove, and having the time to talk to his patients, and "get to know them." Igor plans to be a pig farmer, to which Rizzo asks, "What do you mean, 'gonna be'?"
Nurse Bigelow, after being a nurse at the tail end of WWII, and then Korea, quietly admits, "You know something? I've had it."
Potter asks Winchester, who initially gives a bloodless answer about being Chief of Thoracic Surgery, so his life "Will go on pretty much as I expected." He begins to sit down, but then stops, admitting, "For me, music was always a refuge from this miserable experience...now it will always be a...reminder."
Margaret announces she's worked through a number of offers, but has decided to work in the States, in a hospital. She tearfully thanks her nurses for their superb work.
Klinger is last, and he announces that he and Soon Lee are getting married! He then points out the one problem is that she won't leave until she finds her parents. So, he admits, "I don't believe I'm saying this...I'm staying in Korea." Everyone erupts into stunned laughter. The evening ends with a toast to the new couple, everyone clinking their glasses in succession.
The next morning, Father Mulcahy performs the marriage ceremony, with Col. Potter as Best Man. As Klinger and Soon Lee climb into their "limo" (a horse-drawn cart), Klinger says goodbye to all his friends. B.J. has him sign a picture of himself in his Scarlett O'Hara gown, because, when he tells Erin about his experiences, "There's just some things she's just not going to believe."
After tearfully saying goodbye to Col. Potter, Soon Lee throws her bouquet, right into the arms of...Margaret.
The nurses head off to the 8063rd, but not before Kellye and some of the others grab their hometown markers from the camp signpost.
Father Mulcahy then leaves, still trying to keep his hearing loss a secret. Hawkeye tells him a joke, but he can't hear it, so after B.J. giving him silent instructions, he fakes a laugh. As he climbs into his ambulance, he waves and says, "Goodbye everybody...I'll pray for you."
Winchester, originally scheduled to depart with Margaret in a jeep, finds there is no room left since she has filled it with her belongings. Winchester kisses her hand goodbye, and Col. Potter kisses her on the head, just as a father would do. She and Hawkeye stare at one another for a moment, awkwardly trying to figure out what to say.
They finally embrace, and share a long--really long--passionate kiss. After they finish, Hawkeye simply says, "Well, so long", to which Margaret replies, "See ya." She watches them all as her jeep leaves the camp.
Just before Winchester leaves in--of all things--a garbage truck, they watch the Swamp be collapsed, forever. Hawkeye expresses sympathy for all the homeless rats, but Winchester assures him "Don't worry, you'll find somewhere to go."
He compliments Col. Potter's skills as a commander, and sarcastically says goodbye to Hawkeye and B.J. Climbing into the junky garbage truck, he bows slightly, and says, "Gentlemen." With that, he departs.
Before Col. Potter climbs on Sophie, he thanks Hawkeye and B.J. for always making him laugh, telling them there were times when, as commander, he had to pretend he was mad at them, but "Inside, I was laughing to beat all hell."
Hawkeye and B.J., teary-eyed, tell their former commander they have a gift for him--a honest, no-nonsense military salute. Col. Potter tearfully returns the gesture of respect, and rides off on his steed.
Hawkeye and B.J. begin an awkward goodbye on the compound, but when they hear Hawkeye's chopper arrive B.J. offers him a ride up to the chopper pad.
Once they make it there, they say goodbye, admitting how much they will miss one another. After recalling some great times together, they hug. Hawkeye climbs into the chopper, and B.J. starts his motorcycle.
He yells to Hawkeye, saying "I'll see you back in the States--I promise! But just in case, I left you a note", pointing to something off in the distance.
Hawkeye, confused, yells, "What?!?" but B.J. doesn't answer. He simply waves goodbye, and drives off.
Hawkeye's chopper begins to lift off, and he looks around for what his friend was talking about. He smiles when he sees, on one of the lower chopper pads, a note B.J. has left for him, spelled out in stones: "Goodbye."
Cracking a grin, Hawkeye looks out one last time over the camp, now mostly deserted and consisting of empty building frames. He then leans back into his seat, looking at peace.
The last shot we see is of Hawkeye's chopper, headed off into the distance:
Fun Facts: This episode still holds the record, almost 27 years later, as the most watched series episode TV history, with over 106 million viewers. Considering how fragmented TV is now, its a safe bet that's a record that will never be broken.
This is the series' longest episode, and the only one to feature an on-screen title.
I have so many comments and/or questions relating to this episode, I hardly know where to begin, and we don't have room for them all here. So here's a few:
Question: Why can't Col. Potter take Sophie with him? He lives in Missouri, not Manhattan. As an animal lover since I was small, the idea that Col. Potter left Sophie behind was really heartbreaking to me. Maybe it was to give Harry Morgan some bit of a storyline, since, of all the characters, he undergoes the least change in this episode?
Comment: I love Hawkeye bringing up Trapper not leaving a note when he left, even after all this time. Hawkeye as a character was always more insecure than B.J., so that line really gives you the sense that Hawkeye is still smarting from that perceived slight.
Question: All the characters get to say goodbye to each other in the final scene, except for Margaret and Father Mulcahy, who will see each other again at the 8063rd. Why was this? Just one goodbye moment too many?
Comment: I love the moment with Enid Kent as Nurse Bigelow in the banquet scene. Most everyone is chipper and happy now that the war's over, and looking forward to the next chapter of their lives. But Nurse Bigelow is just sick of war, sick of the death. This was the character's finest moment in the series.
Comment: This episode was filmed at the beginning of the year, before most of the other Season Eleven episodes. How weird must have that been for the actors, to play these heartfelt, tearful goodbye scenes, and then go and film more shows?
Favorite Line: How do I pick a favorite line from this monumental, literally historic episode?
There aren't that many funny lines, which is to be expected, since this episode is so inherently dramatic. So I'm going to pick two lines, one funny, one serious.
The laugh line: When, after Hawkeye finishes another rant mentioning a bus, Sidney repeats back to him: "Chickens take the bus?"
Hawkeye, aggravated to no end: "Again with the bus? Why don't you subscribe to Arizona Highways and leave me alone?"
Now for the serious: during Hawkeye and B.J.'s final scene, there are many great, heartfelt lines, but I think B.J.'s line "I can't imagine what this place would have been like if I hadn't found you here" hits me the most.
As a kid, I was, as you might imagine from someone who spends so much time blogging about comic book superheroes, horror magazines, and TV shows, not a very "macho" kid. I didn't like to play sports, and when I did I was awful. I felt like I didn't fit in and so many of the things that boys my age were into I was completely indifferent to.
I was a sensitive kid, and of course any kid who was interested in anything less than punching another kid in the face was called "gay", or a host of other terms meant to wound.
Not to over-dramatize this, but I clearly remember watching the final episode, as it aired. I was in the 6th grade, and it was revelatory to me, to watch two men express their fondness--oh hell, love--for one another so openly. Hawkeye and B.J. were two people I aspired to be like--they were smart, confident, compassionate, funny--and if they could be so open with who they were, maybe I could be, too.
So...is this the end of the blog? Well, yes and no. I have a bunch of other related posts to get to in the next week or two, so please join me for those.
But after that, yes, my look back at M*A*S*H will end and this blog will cease. Had any episodes of After M*A*S*H been available, in any format, I might have considered taking a look at that series, too--I haven't seen any of them since they first aired, and I'd love to revisit the show and see how it plays now (I really can't believe, with all the TV shows that have been put on DVD, that After M*A*S*H is still languishing in limbo).
Be back tomorrow!
Season 10, Episode 229: Pressure Points
Original Air Date: 2/15/82
Written by: David Pollock & Elias Davis
Directed by: Charles S. Dubin
While Col. Potter is on a visit to the 8063rd, a patient of his develops further problems, requiring Hawkeye to perform another surgery.
Potter returns, and is troubled at the news that Hawkeye had to do "mop-up work" on one of his patients. Turns out Potter missed a small piece of shrapnel which then dislodged itself, causing the need for the second surgery.
Potter's mood is further darkened when another patient inadvertently insults him, wondering why he is being transferred when his buddy--Potter's patient--isn't, even though they have the same wounds.
Later, during a lecture in Potter's office from a Captain regarding a new piece of extremely destructive artillery, Potter explodes at him, wondering why, if they can create better and nastier weapons, why can't they find a way to stop "this stupid war?"
That night, Sidney Freedman arrives, saying he's on a fact-finding mission regarding stress. He makes his way over to Col. Potter's tent, and we find out that it was Potter who called Sidney. Sidney is surprised to learn this.
Potter shares with him that, lately, he's been "a lot less perfect than I can accept" regarding his surgical skills. He's worried that...
At that point, Potter's voice trails off, and he insists that nothing's really wrong, he just needed to vent a little. Sidney is dubious, but Potter says that all he needed was to talk. Sidney goes back to the Swamp.
The next day, in the Mess Tent, it doesn't take much to set Potter off--he snaps at the cook for the lousy food, barks at Klinger, and then really hits the roof at Hawkeye when he learns that he authorized the release of Potter's patient now that he's well.
Meanwhile, Hawkeye, B.J., and Winchester have been having an ongoing feud about their personal cleanliness habits--Winchester deciding to out-slob his roommates, using B.J.'s knife to slice onions, eating raw sardines, etc.
It all comes to a boil, leading the three of them to start destroying parts of the Swamp, so much so it starts to draw a crowd. Potter gets wind of this, but, instead of blowing his stack, he asks Klinger order Winchester a new pillow.
He asks Sidney to meet him back in his tent, and then he admits what's really wrong: he's deeply worried that he's lost his touch as a surgeon, and the idea of incoming wounded fills him with terror. He tells Sidney the story of how he decided to become a surgeon: as a boy, he watched as his veterinarian uncle perform a live-saving operation, and bask in the glory of what lays inside the human body. Since that day, all he ever wanted was to become a surgeon.
Sidney is comforting, reminding Potter that of course someday he will get too old to be a surgeon--but right now, he's letting the fear of failing take over, and whether or not that affects him is purely under Potter's control.
Wounded arrive, and before cutting into his first patient, Potter takes a deep breath, and begins. He seems to be his old self again.
Later, the 4077th has a contest, raising money for the orphanage, over who gets to shave the still-sloppy Winchester. Potter wins, and, holding the razor in his hand, is as steady as a rock.
Fun Facts: This is Season Ten's unofficial "Angry Potter" episode.
The syndicated version of this episode removes Potter's fantastic speech about the moment he knew he wanted to be a surgeon--easily the best scene in the show! Whoever did the editing really cut the guts out of this particular episode.
Favorite Line: Sidney sees Winchester, unshaven, slovenly, and eating raw sardines, and acts surprised at this change of behavior. Winchester insists "Naw, you're seeing the real me."
Sidney: "I'm sorry to hear that."
Season 9, Episode 211: Bless You, Hawkeye
Original Air Date: 3/16/81
Written by: Dan Wilcox & Thad Mumford
Directed by: Nell Cox
The doctors get some patients in the middle of the night, luckily its just a few and the cases are relatively simple. One of the soldiers is drenched, from having fallen in a watery ditch.
Later that night, Hawkeye wakes up sneezing uncontrollably. He insists he's fine, but the sneezes are getting louder and more frequent.
Hawkeye takes a long, steamy shower, positive that's all he needs. B.J. has his own cure, as does Margaret, but Hawkeye refuses to take any of it.
He seems to be over it, but when he lets a giant sneeze go in Post Op, Potter has had enough--he pulls Hawkeye away from the patients and subjects him to tests to figure out what's going on.
But despite the tests showing nothing, Hawkeye keeps getting worse. During a meeting in Potter's office, Hawkeye bursts in, sneezing, eyes puffy, itching uncontrollably--and convinced he's about to die.
Potter concludes that they've gone as far as they can with his body, now they have to see "what's on his mind"--to that end, he puts in a call to Sidney Freedman.
Sidney arrives, and sits down with Hawkeye in the VIP Tent. Hawkeye, looking awful, admits he's scared that he's going to die. Sidney, while being his normal, gentle self, says, "I don't think we need to call the hearse just yet."
After talking a bit, they call it a night. Sidney investigates the personal effects of the soldiers who came in the night Hawkeye started getting sick. He doesn't find much of interest, and Father Mulcahy tells him that Hawkeye's patient's uniform was so moldy it has to be thrown out. Despite this, Sidney can still smell the mold on the young man's personal effects.
They resume their talk the next night, and he notices Hawkeye makes repeated references to water--"swimming in cold sweat", etc. Sidney is convinced that there's some long dormant "time bomb" in Hawkeye's mind, and something has set it off.
Hawkeye mentions an older cousin named Billy, whom Hawkeye calls "The older brother I never had."
Sidney also notices that when Hawkeye mentions Billy, he makes a fist and begins banging it on the IV stand. But, soon enough, Hawkeye remembers a time when Billy pushed Hawkeye into a pond, as a joke, then pulled him out. The young Hawkeye was so hurt that the cousin he loved so much would do something like that that he altered the memory, telling himself that he fell into the pond accidentally.
This realization breaks Hawkeye down, reducing him to tears. He admits loving Billy, but also deeply, deeply hating him for doing that. His feelings of betrayal were so strong that he simply couldn't deal with the reality, so all the young Hawkeye could do was meekly thank Billy for saving his life.
Sidney concludes it was the smell of moldy water that set Hawkeye off. Soon after, they both notice Hawkeye isn't sneezing anymore.
Later, Hawkeye, Sidney, and the rest play cards. Sidney sneezes, causing Hawkeye to place a big bet. When Sidney wins the hand, he warns Hawkeye not to fall for "That old fake sneezing trick."
Fun Facts: I like every episode that features Sidney Freedman, but this one seems a little less effective in retrospect, when you know that the storyline--Hawkeye repressing a memory that causes him mental and physical harm--will essentially be repeated in the final episode.
Favorite Line: Margaret sends Father Mulcahy into the men's showers with a sure-fire cure for Hawkeye's sneezing. B.J. is there, with his own cure, and he and Hawkeye argue over what will work. Margaret opens the door to the shower a crack and yells: "Make sure he uses all of it!"
Season 8, Episode 190: Good-Bye, Cruel World
Original Air Date: 2/11/80
Written by: Thad Mumford & Dan Wilcox
Directed by: Charles S. Dubin
One of the wounded is Sgt. Michael Yee, a bona-fide war hero. Hawkeye works on him, and is amazed at the sheer number of wounds Yee has suffered.
Later, in Post Op, Hawkeye gives Yee (Clyde Kusatsu) the good news: he's going home. But instead of being overjoyed, Yee seems stunned, and even a little upset over the news.
After the delivering the news, Hawkeye and Margaret leave Yee alone, and we see Yee pound his fist in frustration.
Potter and Klinger call an impromptu meeting in Klinger's office--he has filled the room with items from home, all of them with an Arabic flavor. Potter puts it up to a vote from the doctors, but Klinger is less than happy when they all break down in guffaws over Klinger's version of good taste.
Later, Nurse Kelleye tells Hawkeye that Sgt. Yee tried to kill himself by slashing his wrists. Hawkeye, Margaret, and Potter check in on him, and the damage is so extensive that he requires surgery to patch it all up.
Meanwhile, Klinger, so mad at being laughed at, decides to pull a scam ending in him being discharged home. He fakes letters from Col. Potter (working hard to perfect Potter's distinctive signature) and Father Mulachy, planning on sending them into I-Corps. B.J. discovers the plot, and tries to talk Klinger out of it. Klinger pretends to go along, but then after B.J. leaves, resumes his plan, by sending the paperwork to HQ.
Sidney Freedman arrives to talk to Sgt. Yee. He looks over Yee's record--he also served in WWII, and while he had a solid record there, its nothing like the list of courageous acts Yee has attempted in Korea.
Sidney talks to Yee, and subtly puts him under hypnosis. Later, Yee awakens, and he's shocked to learn that what he thought has just been a few minutes was actually two hours.
Hawkeye notices Yee, post-hypnosis, is twitching his arm like mad, and wonders if Yee is stable. Sidney insists that he is, telling Hawkeye that Yee is racked with guilt, fighting in a war against an Asian enemy. He planted a hypnotic suggestion in Yee's mind to twitch his hand every time he feels stressed, instead of committing an act of violence against himself.
Sidney also surmises that all those acts of bravery on Yee's part were part of the same behavior. Later, Yee is released from the hospital, where Sidney will keep working with him until he's shipped home.
Meanwhile, Potter apologizes to Klinger for not letting him put up any of his personal items and hurting his feelings. So he tells Klinger he can put up any one piece, and also gives Klinger a three-day pass.
Klinger, now feeling guilty about setting his plan in motion, hot-foots it to I-Corps, where he has to bluff his way out of it with a Colonel. He pretends to be Radar, telling the Colonel that "this Klinger fella" is pulling a scam, and the whole thing should be forgotten.
Once home, Potter reveals he knew about it the whole time, and even gives Klinger some helpful tips about how to better forge his name.
Fun Facts: Sidney Freedman is awesome. 'Nuff said.
Favorite Line: I love Klinger's impersonation of Radar: "Oh, golly whiz yes, your Colonelness!"
Season 7, Episode 149: The Billfold Syndrome
Original Air Date: 10/16/78
Written by: Ken Levine & David Isaacs
Directed by: Alan Alda
Along with the wounded arriving late at night is a medic, Sgt. Jerry Nielsen (Kevin Geer). Nielsen asks if he can come in to OR and watch the doctors work. Winchester rudely turns him down, but Hawkeye as Chief Surgeon overrules him and let's Nielsen watch.
In the OR, Winchester is even more short-tempered, and everyone else finally demands to know why. He reveals that because he's stuck in Korea for the foreseeable future, he has lost his chance at being Chief of Thoracic Surgery at Boston Hospital. Everyone is sympathetic, but Winchester isn't having any of it. Back at the Swamp, he finally gets so mad he states he will not talk to anyone in the 4077th ever again. Hawkeye and B.J. of course take this as a challenge.
While they try and find ways to get to him to talk, they are faced with a more serious challenge: more wounded arrive, again accompanied by Sgt. Nielsen. Except this time, he seems dazed, and doesn't seem to know who or where he is. He points to his dog tag, asking "Is this me?"
They immediately put in a call to Sidney Freedman, who diagnoses the problem as The Billfold Syndrome--a man looks at his billfold, but can't place himself.
He meets with Nielsen, and decides to put him under hypnosis. With the help of Hawkeye and B.J., he takes Nielsen back to the moment where he lost his memory. We learn that Nielsen, on top of all of his other duties as a medic, was responsible for looking after his kid brother, who was also in the unit. During a battle, Nielsen's little brother was killed. Nielsen, filled with guilt, had a breakdown.
Coming out of the trance, Nielsen is himself again, and collapses into tears on Sidney's shoulder.
Later, a fake telegram sent to Winchester (supposedly from Boston Hospital) gets him to talk. When Winchester learns its a practical joke, he gets revenge by collapsing the roof of the Swamp on top of Hawkeye, B.J., and Sidney after dropping off a telegram that simply says, "Gentlemen: Heads up."
Fun Facts: Another solid Sidney Freeman episode (aren't they all?). I love his reaction when Radar tells him he can have the VIP tent as soon as he moves his animals out: "Sounds very comfy!"
Favorite Line: Hawkeye and B.J., desperate to get Winchester to talk, lob insults tailor made to get under his skin. Among them: "Winchester, your parents voted for Roosevelt--four times!"
Season 6, Episode 124: War of Nerves
Original Air Date: 10/11/77
Written by: Alan Alda
Directed by: Alan Alda
Wounded arrive, and one of them is...Sidney Freedman! Turns out Sidney was doing therapy in a fox hole with a patient, when a battle started. Sidney's wound needs to be attended to, but its not serious. He even feels well enough to help out in O.R.
Later in the Mess Tent, Sidney sees that tensions are starting to flare at the 4077th: Margaret and Winchester are in a heated debate about whether he touched his nose during surgery, Hawkeye and B.J.'s personal habits are getting on each other's nerves, and Radar and Klinger are mad at each other because Klinger insists on using Radar's teddy bear as part of yet another nutty scheme.
The arguments kick off even more squabbles, that get so out of control even Col. Potter can't calm them down. He walks out of the tent with Sidney, and he asks if Sidney will agree to see "some of the loonier ones" on a one-on-one basis. Sidney agrees.
As Sgt. Zale and Igor (Peter Reigert) prepare a fire to burn some bug-infested uniforms outside, Margaret comes to visit Sidney. She ends up talking about Winchester the whole time, insisting that she's not at all interested him, in any way.
Winchester is next, and says the same thing about Margaret. They both end up saying so much Sidney barely has room to say anything but sit and listen.
The patient Sidney was treating, Tom, is bright and cheery with Hawkeye and B.J., but when he talks to Sidney is nasty and angry. Sidney is saddened at this response, and goes back to his tent.
Klinger arrives to talk, saying he's really worried he's going crazy--that this whole "I'm crazy" bit isn't an act anymore. Sidney assures him that, deep down, he's okay.
Zale and Igor's bonfire has grown exponentially, to where its a giant pile of random objects. Potter disapproves, and tells them to pull all that stuff off the pile, but then Sidney councils him that this fire must just be the pressure valve they need and that Potter was looking for. Potter reverses his order, and commissions one "Grade A" bonfire. The camp cheers in glee.
Radar then turns to Sidney for his advice, worried about his reliance on his teddy bear. Like with Klinger, Sidney assures Radar that he's fine, and that once he's home, away from all this "mud, blood, and death" he probably won't need it anymore.
Before Sidney's patient Tom is about to be shipped out, Hawkeye and B.J. ask him to talk to Sidney one more time. He agrees, but once again his cheery, jokey disposition changes abruptly when Sidney arrives, and he refuses to give Sidney any sort of comfort.
Sidney, a bit despondent, is then visited by Father Mulcahy, who is the one to dispense comfort. He talks Sidney into coming outside and participate in the bonfire, which he does, adding his trousers to the effort.
The fire is lit, and the 4077 stays up, late into the night, singing songs together as they watch it burn.
Fun Facts: Actor Peter Reigert (Boone in Animal House) plays a character listed on the credits as Igor, who is of course normally played by Jeff Maxwell.
The patient treated by Sidney is played by Michael O'Keefe, who played a soldier with the exact same problem in the Season Three episode "Mad Dogs and Servicemen."
Favorite Line: Klinger, when talking to Sidney about why he hates being here, says its because he doesn't want to be killed, watch someone else get killed, or be the one who's doing the killing, his voice getting angrier and firmer: "...and I don't want to be told how to do it to somebody else, and I ain't gonna, period, that's it, I'm gettin' out!"
We all know Hawkeye's main reason why he hates the war, and to a lesser extent we've seen each of the main objections of the other characters, but in this exchange we see what offends Klinger the most: the idea that someone would ask him to kill someone else. Its a great sequence, a great insight to what is normally a lighter character, the lines perfectly delivered by Jamie Farr.
Season 5, Episode 109: Hawk's Nightmare
Original Air Date: 12/21/76
Written by: Burt Prelutsky
Directed by: Burt Metcalfe
Hawkeye seems particularly agitated during surgery, complaining about the shocking youth of his patients. He calls them "babies" and said they should all be home getting burped by their mothers, not fighting in a war.
At the end of a day-long session in O.R., Hawkeye and B.J. go to sleep, but a few minutes later, Hawkeye wanders out of bed, across the camp, sleepwalking--and acting like a small child, to boot.
The next morning, everyone asks him what he was doing the night before, and Hawkeye doesn't have the foggiest idea what they're talking about. At first he dismisses the idea, until Klinger mentions the name of a grade school principal Hawkeye talked about while miming playing basketball, which freezes Hawkeye in his place.
Another day goes by, and in the middle of the night Hawkeye wakes up again and goes sleepwalking. He reverts back to the same childlike identity he had the night before--miming playing basketball and shooting marbles. He wanders the compound until Radar and Klinger lead him back to his cot.
This all seems harmless enough, but then thinks take a darker turn--Hawkeye has a blood-curdling nightmare, about a childhood friend getting killed with sledding. B.J. wakes him up, and Hawkeye finds himself sweaty, with his heart-pounding...and a possibly soiled cot.
The next day, Hawkeye tries to convince himself that its just tension. He tries to make himself feel better by calling the childhood friend back home, just to see if he's all right. He is, but the phone call degenerates into a shouting match when the friend insists Hawkeye owes him $37.
That night, Hawkeye is afraid to go to sleep, and he tries to get other people to stay up with him. At first he tries Klinger, then Father Mulcahy, and then gets so desperate he even tries to talk to Frank.
When that peters out, he lays down and falls asleep. But, sure enough, a little while later, he has another nightmare about a childhood friend being hurt, leading to him make another phone call.
As Radar puts the call through, Col. Potter asks him afterward to call Sidney Freedman. Sidney agrees to come visit the next day.
Late at night the next day, Hawkeye, B.J., Col. Potter, Radar, Father Mulcahy and Sindey are playing cards. One hand ends, and Hawkeye and Sidney take a walk outside, ending with them sitting outside the Swamp.
Hawkeye is clearly worried--terrified, even--and he comes out and asks Sidney if he think he's going crazy. Sidney, who has been gentle with Hawkeye to this point, pointedly answers, "No."
He deduces that Hawkeye is trying to get back to a time in his life when there were no Life or Death decisions. And that, on the whole, the dreams are peaceful--its when the pain of being in war intrudes on them is when they turn dark. He reassures Hawkeye that this will pass, but reminds him that there's "a lot of pain" Hawkeye is dealing with, and it will take some time to pass.
Hawkeye, feeling better, thanks Sidney for his help. Sidney responds by challenging Hawkeye to a game of Mime Basketball, the same kind Hawkeye has been playing all week.
As they laugh and relax, Klinger and Radar watch from inside, amazed. Klinger now understands why his brand of crazy gets so little notice.
Fun Facts: The scene outside the Swamp with Hawkeye and Sidney is extraordinary--Sidney is so warm and understanding, yet clear-eyed and honest. Who wouldn't go to therapy, if this was your doctor?
Sidney uses the (presumably Yiddish) word ferschimmled at one point in the episode. Upon seeing this episode, I would use that word as a kid, always leading people to ask me what the heck that meant.
I love how unresolved this episode is--Sidney doesn't have any sort of magic cure for Hawkeye. He tells him the dreams will continue, at least for a little while, because of all the pain bubbling up in Hawkeye's subconscious, an astonishingly dark prognosis, when you think about it.
Alan Alda, for all his chemistry with the other cast members, always seemed the most engaged when he had dialog with Allan Arbus. For my money, I could watch Hawkeye and Sidney scenes all day.
Favorite Line: After Sidney makes an astute observation, Hawkeye applauds him and says, in mock surprise, "Hey, you're pretty good."
Sidney: "Thank you. For my next trick I'll invent Sibling Rivalry."
Season 5, Episode 103: Dear Sigmund
Original Air Date: 11/9/76
Written by: Alan Alda
Directed by: Alan Alda
Sidney has come to visit again, and he seems to be staying longer than usual--so long that he has time to write a letter "to" Sigmund Freud, where he tells the world famous psychiatrist about what the calls "a kind of spa"--the 4077th.
He describes each member of the 4077th, and shares stories about them--like the time Hawkeye came to do rounds in Post-Op dressed in a pith helmet and swim fins, delivering one-liners like Groucho Marx.
Klinger, pretending to be hit in the head with a chopper blade, all of a sudden speaks only Arabic. Someone else is perpetrating a rash of practical jokes, and no one is safe--not even Col. Potter.
Meanwhile, A bomber pilot named Hathaway (Charles Frank) arrives in camp, oblivious to the destruction he's causing--and the innocent people he's hurting--by keeping himself above the war, both physically and emotionally.
Sidney comes back to the Swamp one day to find Hawkeye and B.J. reading his letter to Freud, which gets Sidney to open up about what's troubling him. He's been having a very difficult time with his patients lately--he missed the signals one "sweet, innocent, troubled kid" gave him, and the boy ended up killing himself. Depressed and unfocused, he's come to the 4077th to feel better: "There's something special about this place--you give life here."
Later that night, he has a drink with Hot Lips. A nice chat turns into a debacle when the self-described "unflappable" Hot Lips gets insulted when she sees an athletic supporter laying nearby. She gets so worked up Sidney has to put his hat over it so she doesn't have to look at it.
During surgery, the bomb pilot--who is helping out in triage, thanks to Hawkeye--sees that one of the wounded is a little girl, about six years old. He is horrified to learn that she was hit by an overhead bomb, and rushes out of the O.R.
Hawkeye follows him out, and the pilot breaks down, realizing what he's been doing and that this isn't, as he calls it, "a clean war."
Sidney, in his letter, talks about Radar, who seems as childlike as the Korean children he plays with, and yet keeps the chaos of the 4077th running smoothly. We also see that he gently handles the task of writing a letter for Col. Potter to the parents of his friend, an ambulance driver who crashed his vehicle due to careless and rushed driving and was killed.
The one person Sidney can't figure out is B.J.--he seems so calm, so serene, yet he figures there must be something bubbling underneath his calm demeanor.
Sidney's suspicions are confirmed when he sees that B.J. is, in fact, the mad practical joker. He helps B.J. fill Frank's air raid bunker with water, then calls Frank out by yelling "Air Raid!" at the top of his lungs. Frank runs out in a panic, falling into the water and splashing around helplessly.
Sidney finally starts to feel better, and heads back to work, but not before noticing all the tin cans Hawkeye and B.J. have tied to his jeep's bumper. He pauses for a moment, sees what's making all that racket, and then drives on.
Fun Facts: One of my all-time favorite episodes. Sidney was always one of (if not the) my favorite M*A*S*H characters, so having a whole episode focusing on him is a delight to watch. Its a testament to the lack of ego the other cast members must have had, to go along with an episode revolving around a guest star.
There's an extraordinary scene where Col. Potter is mad that "O'Donnell"--the ambulance driver--was driving too fast and caused his ambulance to crash, injuring several soldiers. He barks at Radar to tell O'Donnell to meet him in his office for what's surely going to be a chewing out. He ends with "You got that?!?"
Radar pauses, choked up a little bit, and replies, "He's dead, sir." Potter stares for a half second, saying nothing. He then turns on his heel, and storms off.
I'm not describing the scene well at all, but its a marvel of performance and editing, making for a very powerful moment.
Favorite Line: When Frank pops out from under a pile of laundry, Hawkeye shrugs: "Oh God, I thought that lump under his blanket was dirty laundry."
B.J.: "It is."
Season 4, Episode 81: Quo Vadis, Captain Chandler?
Original Air Date: 11/7/75
Written by: Burt Prelutsky
Directed by: Larry Gelbart
Wounded arrive, and Radar is shocked when one of them--who arrived without dog-tags--says his name is Jesus Christ.
Hawkeye and B.J. try and get the soldier's real name, but he insists he really is Jesus Christ. His wound is superficial, so they assume he's doing this to get out of the Army. The soldier remains unruffled by the doctor's doubt.
Frank and Hot Lips try and get Col. Potter to step in, since they are sure that "liberal, bleeding heart" Hawkeye and B.J. will try and fill this soldier's head with all kinds of anti-American ideas.
Potter refuses to humor them, so they take it upon themselves to meet with Col. Flagg, who shows up to investigate this solider claiming to be Christ.
Flagg reveals the solider is actually Captain Arnold Chandler, a bombadier who has flown 57 bombing runs. Potter thinks it sounds like battle fatigue, but Flagg couldn't care less. Flagg demands Chandler be released immediately, but Potter goes with Hawkeye's idea: getting the advice of an expert on cases like this, Major Sidney Freedman.
Sidney Freedman arrives, and Flagg tries to talk him into backing his position. He first tries cajoling, then moves onto threatening him, referencing his "subversive" background. Freedman is unmoved.
Sidney meets with Chandler, who, still as Christ, reveals a deep sadness about having to bomb people who never did anything to him. He weeps at the thought of dropping bombs on "my children." They discuss the notion of faith, and identity.
Later, in a meeting in Potter's office, Sidney gives his professional opinion: he's Christ. Potter replies: "As you can see, I'm not laughing."
Sidney then explains that Chandler has suffered a mental breakdown, feeling so tormented over the killing he's done that his mind has shut down, refusing to allow him to do any more fighting. He grabbed the most peaceful identity he could find--Jesus Christ--and Chandler disappeared inside.
Col. Flagg of course doesn't buy any of this, and now threatens to "blow the whistle" on Freedman and his pro-Commie background, particularly Sidney's refusal to sign his Officer's Loyalty Oath.
When Hawkeye and B.J. congratulate Sidney on not signing ("Where do we go to not sign?!"), Flagg thinks he's being played, and insists that Sidney is staying right where he is--in the Army, where he'll have to be "loyal to the organization that's going to hound your every step." He storms out, revealing Frank and Hot Lips listening outside.
Potter shakes his head at Flagg's lunacy, and ultimately decides to follow Sidney's advice.
The next day, Capt. Chandler--after blessing Radar's teddy bear, upon request--boards the bus to be taken home. He still believes he's Christ, leaving Hawkeye, B.J., and Father Mulcahy to sadly watch as he departs.
Fun Facts: One of M*A*S*H's most brilliant episodes--it manages to tackle some huge dramatic--even controversial--issues while also being hysterically funny. The interchanges between Freedman and Flagg are masterpieces of comic timing.
This episode features pretty much the only time Sidney Freedman and Col. Flagg would appear together (they were both in the Season Two episode "Deal Me Out", but Edward Winter was not playing Col. Flagg, at least officially).
There's a great exchange between Col. Flagg and Col. Potter--meeting for the first time--when Flagg demands Potter make a decision, and says "The last C.O. they had here couldn't make a decision without a month's warning." Potter, clearly angry, says, "I'm not fond of personal abuse, Colonel--I was in this man's Army when the only thumb you cared about was the one in your mouth!"
Sidney Freedman also gets his shots in at Flagg: "You're a victim too, Flagg. But you're such an example of walking fertilizer it's hard for me to care."
Favorite Line: After Col. Flagg unleashes a typically loony tirade, Sidney Freedman shakes his head and says: "He's what Freud used to call 'spooky.'"
Season 3, Episode 53: O.R.
Original Air Date: 10/8/74
Written by: Larry Gelbart & Laurence Marks
Directed by: Gene Reynolds
A grueling session in O.R. leads to all kinds of tense and unusual situations
A patient asks to write a letter to his wife, confessing to numerous infidelities, before he goes under. Father Mulcahy takes dictation, but Trapper admonishes him not to send it--"He's gonna pull through."
Frank, feeling the pressure of all the wounded, almost removes the one remaining kidney of a patient before Trapper steps in. Hawkeye performs open-heart massage, pulling a patient back from the brink of death.
Henry has to deal with a patient so badly wounded that, if he starts work, will mean the loss of other, less mortally wounded patients. He grimly decides not to go ahead, basically allowing the solider to die.
Trapper and Frank have a surprisingly candid talk while taking a few minutes off, where Trapper gets a hint of what kind of boy Frank was growing up, turning him into the man he is today. Trapper displays some sympathy, but only goes so far..
There's so many wounded that when Sidney Freedman arrives for a the weekly poker game, he is put to work performing surgery.
Later, Hawkeye is told the patient he worked so hard to save has died in Post Op, leaving him temporarily demoralized, unable to continue working. Sidney gives him a bit of a pep talk, and Hawkeye dutifully goes back to work. To top things off, a fire breaks out on a piece of electrical wiring, but a quick-thinking Trapper puts it out.
After all the wounded are taken care of, we are left with Hawkeye and Trapper, almost completely passed out, as the P.A. announcer tells of a change-up in the command structure, one General succeeding another, ending with "No one's succeeding us...at all."
Fun Facts: Except for an opening scene in the Scrub Room, this episode takes place entirely in the O.R. In addition, there is no laugh track anywhere in the show.
Sidney Freedman's little speech "Ladies and Gentlemen, take my advice--pull down your pants, and slide on the ice", will be repeated in M*A*S*H's very last episode, as Freedman's final exit line.
This episode is not generally listed on any "Ten Best" list from the series, but its one of my all-time favorites: taking place entirely in the O.R., with no laugh track, it feels very different than all the other episodes. While there are some genuine laughs, overall its a very grim episode, with a downbeat ending--yet its that very grimness that, to me, makes this episode so compelling.
Favorite Line: During Hawkeye and Henry's heart-to-heart outside the O.R.: "Wars don't last forever, Henry. Only War does."
Original Air Date: 12/8/73
Written by: Larry Gelbart & Laurence Marks
Directed by: Gene Reynolds
The 4077th is visited by Major Sidney Freedman and Capt. Sam Pak (Pat Morita), who are here for an important conference: an all-night poker game in The Swamp!
As Hawkeye, Trapper, Henry, Sidney, Sam, and Klinger ante up, all sorts of mayhem breaks loose in the camp--Radar hits a local with his jeep, and a wounded CID man arrives, but Frank refuses to operate on him because regulations say another CID man must be present, in case the wounded man reveals classified information.
The game's players keep changing, as Henry, Hawkeye, and Trapper keep going in and out to deal with what's going on.
The second CID man, Capt. Halloran (Edward Winter) arrives, but Hawkeye and Trapper have gone ahead with the surgery. Once they assure him the CID man never uttered a word, Halloran is annoyed at Frank for having him drive all the way up to the 4077th for nothing. He ends up joining the game, driving Frank to storm out in frustration.
Later, another one of Frank's patients, an unstable Private named Carter (John Ritter) refuses to go back to the fighting, and takes Frank hostage in the showers!
While Sidney tries to talk Carter down, Trapper sneaks in from the back and gets the gun away from him. Sidney escorts Carter out, talking calmly to him.
Later, the guy Radar hit with his jeep--the famous "Whiplash Wang"--demands money, so everyone in the game antes up a few bucks to give to Radar. Radar pays him off, only to "hit" him again a few minutes later with an ambulance!
Acting like he's been injured again, Hawkeye and Trapper drag him back to Post Op.
Later, early in the morning, everyone is barely awake, having played poker all night. They all want to go to sleep, but groggily deal another hand.
Fun Facts: This is one of my all-time favorite episodes: every scene with the poker game has the flow and feel of an old-time radio show, with the jokes flying fast and furious.
This is the first episode featuring Pat Morita as Captain Pak, and while this is Sidney Freedman's second appearance, its his first as part of the gang. This slight adaptation of the character would turn into a major addition for the show.
Speaking of additions, this is the first appearance of actor Edward Winter, playing a character very similar to Col. Flagg, who Winter would play the next time he guest-starred on the show. Of course, given Flagg's penchant for using fake I.D.s, this could be Flagg pretending to be someone named Capt. Halloran!
There's a great little character moment in the scene where Pvt. Carter is taken away: Hawkeye and Trapper are talking to Frank, and Hawkeye is handed Carter's gun. Hawkeye holds it between two fingers, as if it was maggot-ridden, and drops it on a nearby shelf, his face contorted into a look of disgust. Hawkeye's deep, deep hatred of guns would be returned to in later episodes, but you get to see a glimpse of it here, as part of the background of a scene.
Favorite Line: Henry fiddles with his chips while staring at his cards, so Sidney suggests: "Fondling your chips is very infantile."
Henry, without even looking up from his cards, responds: "Not now, Sidney."
I realize that's not that funny a line just reading it, but McLean Stevenson's delivery is perfect, and you get a good sense how chummy all these guys are with one another.
Original Air Date: 9/29/73
Written by: Laurence Marks
Directed by: Jackie Cooper
A week in the life of the 4077th, as explained to HQ by Radar via his weekly report.
Amid the maddeningly complex details and formalities Radar has to use to describe what happened, we learn that while operating on a wounder North Korean solider, the solider gets loose, grabs a scalpel, and tries to escape. In the melee, he knocks over an IV stand for a patient Trapper is working on, "Contaminating the whole field".
After slashing a new nurse (Lt. Johnson, played by Joan Van Ark), the soldier is distracted by Klinger after he bursts in, long enough for Hawkeye to get the knife away from him.
Trapper is furious that his patient is not recovering well, and is angry at the North Korean. Hawkeye tries to talk him down, explaining how brainwashed the North Korean soldiers are--filled with stories about torture and abuse at the hands of U.S. doctors.
Meanwhile, after a nasty run-in with Klinger, Frank demands that Henry get Klinger shipped out of the unit. Henry orders an official psychiatric evaluation, and Dr. Robert Freedman (Allan Arbus) arrives to talk to do the examination. Maj. Freedman is more than a little irritated he came all the way to the front to examine a guy in a dress.
At the same time, Hawkeye has fallen head over heels in love with Lt. Johnson, and puts the moves on her. But he backs off abruptly when he sees her wedding ring.
Lt. Johnson reveals that the wedding ring is a blind, used to keep hordes of lecherous men away. Hawkeye is thrilled at the news, and gets in way over his head, suggesting they "Walk off, hand in hand down the aisle."
After Trapper's patient dies, Trapper makes his way into the North Korean's tent, and seems prepared to murder the wounded man in his bed. Hawkeye comes in behind him, and quietly talks him down.
Later in The Swamp, Lt. Johnson meets up with Hawkeye. While she likes him a lot, she feels this is all moving too fast--she tells Hawkeye she has no interest in marriage, to anyone, which breaks Hawkeye's heart. She then tells Hawkeye she is being shipped out to Tokyo in the morning.
Later, we get to hear what Maj. Freedman concludes: that Cpl. Klinger is a transvestite and a homosexual. Klinger is aghast at this, and says he just wants a Section 8. Maj. Freedman basically says take it or leave it, and Klinger leaves it--but he forgets his purse, which Maj. Freedman cheerfully hands to him.
Radar finishes his report, and hands it to Henry to sign.
Fun Facts: The scene with Trapper and Hawkeye in the tent with the enemy solider is genuinely tense, and even a little frightening...you get the sense from Wayne Rogers' line reading that Trapper genuinely considered murdering the solider in revenge.
Of course, the big event for this episode is the debut of Allan Arbus Major Milton--soon to be Sidney--Freedman. In many ways, Sidney was my favorite character on the show, and Arbus' portrayal was so brilliant (and the writers take on the character equally brilliant), that he kept being brought back, season after season.
Its kind of weird that Hawkeye--after dumping three nurses last season when they wanted a commitment from him--is ready to marry Lt. Johnson so quickly. Since when is he the marrying kind?
Favorite Line: During the scene with Trapper and Hawkeye in the North Korean's tent, the camera is focused on Trapper. Hawkeye walks in, out of focus, and asks: "Trapper?"
When he gets no response, he asks again: "Trap?"
There's something about the way Alan Alda lowers his voice, to almost a whisper, that really underscores the tension of the scene. In that one word, he conveys his deep friendship with Trapper (by using a shortened version of his name), while simultaneously expressing a fair amount of surprise at what his friend is doing. A great moment.
