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Season 6, Episode 142: Potter's Retirement
Original Air Date: 2/20/78
Written by: Laurence Marks
Directed by: William Jurgensen
Col. Potter has a meeting with his friend General Kent (Peter Hobbs), who tries to dance around some bad news he has to deliver--he's been receiving bad reports about the 4077th, specifically about Col. Potter's leadership.
Potter isn't especially concerned, until Kent tells him that some of these bad reports are coming directly from the 4077th. This hits Potter--hard. He is hurt that that some of his own family have been saying bad things behind his back.
Later, Potter returns to camp, to find the doctor's Kentucky Derby Party--which Potter approved of earlier--in full swing hours early. He barges into the Mess Tent, barking at all of them, even yelling at Radar. He ends the party then and there, leaving everyone in stunned silence.
Back in his office, Radar tries to delicately ask Potter what's wrong, but he won't say. Radar tells him that a memo from I-Corps came in, saying there's going to be an inspection in a few days--not the news Potter wanted to hear.
Later, at the Kentucky Derby Party, Potter walks in and tells everyone about the inspection. He says he wants to show the "pencil-pushers" the 4077th is the "best damn unit in Korea", much to the cheers of the unit. He then drops a bombshell--after the inspection, he's transferring out of the 4077th, spending his last year in active service in the states.
Hawkeye and B.J. follow Potter back to his office, demanding to know what's going on. At first he refuses to say, but when they persist he tells them about the bad reports. Leaving them alone in his office with Radar, the doctors resolve to find out who the "snitch" is. Radar thinks maybe Klinger, but Hawkeye and B.J. have another, more likely candidate...Winchester.
They sneak through Winchester's stuff looking for any incriminating material, but he catches them in the act, protesting his innocence. He then suggests they look through the outgoing mail, for any letter addressed to I-Corps.
With Radar's help, they go through all the outgoing mail, and find one from Sgt. Benson (who Radar says "Is a regular joe") mailed to I-Corps. They open it (with Radar's expert precision) and find that it is Benson who is the culprit.
After a session in O.R., they confront Benson (George Wyner) and present him to Potter. After some harsh words, Benson reveals he was sent there as a sort of spy--he's even a Lieutenant, not a Sergeant--on the orders of a General Webster who had a grudge against the 4077th in general and Potter specifically. Benson thought military discipline is loose--too lose--at the 4077th, hence the bad reports.
Potter is disgusted, and orders Benson out. Later, he calls his old friend General Kent and asks him to call off the inspection. He then is asked if he's staying at the 4077th--a question he doesn't have an answer for.
After he hangs up, Hawkeye, B.J., and Radar beg Potter to stay--Hawkeye even calls him "Sherman."
Potter thinks for a moment, and agrees to stay. Right at that moment, they hear choppers coming, and as the they all run out, Potter mutters, "I hate this place."
Fun Facts: This is the first of a series of shows--pretty much one per season--I call the Angry Potter Episodes. Col. Potter is enraged about something, and for the first half of the show he takes it out on his friends and co-workers, much to their hurt and shock. It all gets solved in the end, of course, but I love the Col. Potter character so much that watching him bark at the others make these episodes some of my least favorite ones to watch.
Hawkeye calling Col. Potter "Sherman" was a nice, sweet touch. Col. Potter was held in such high esteem by the rest of the 4077th that someone calling him by his first name was exceedingly rare--I believe it only happens one more time in the series.
Favorite Line: Hawkeye, B.J., and Radar are going through the mail, looking for a suspicious letter. Hawkeye finds one: "Here's one from Klinger to his draftboard."
B.J.: "Is it ticking?"
Season 6, Episode 128: Change Day
Original Air Date: 11/8/77
Written by: Laurence Marks
Directed by: Don Weis
Col. Potter gets word that I-Corps is changing the official Army scrip (what they use for money instead of actual U.S. currency), and makes the announcement that everyone should get their money ready for the big exchange the following day.
Winchester sees this an opportunity to make a buck or two--he hatches a plan to buy up all the old, soon-to-be-useless scrip from all the Korean villagers (which, technically, they shouldn't have in the first place) and exchange it for new scrip.
The problem is, his plan is close to highway robbery--he's only offering 10 cents on the dollar, keeping the other 90 cents for himself. When Hawkeye and B.J. get word of the plot (from Winchester's Korean tailor, who he drafts in for help), they hatch a plan to thwart who they call "A robber baron who makes house calls."
While Winchester is out fleecing the masses, Hawkeye and B.J. have a friendly Sergeant force Winchester out of his jeep, saying the main road is closed. This makes Winchester have to grab all his money and walk to the 4077th.
After an hour, he arrives at camp, only to be stopped by Klinger--who is currently trying a scam acting as by-the-book Navy mid-shipman--keeping anyone from entering the camp while the scrip exchange is taking place, which is SOP.
Winchester, stuck outside with piles of soon-to-be-useless scrip, begs Hawkeye and B.J. to do the money exchange for him. They agree to, but only offering him the original 10 cents on the dollar rate he offered the Korean villagers.
Winchester, enraged and frustrated, storms off, his plan to make a killing having gone up in smoke.
Fun Facts: Animal House's Peter Reigert makes a second (and last) appearance as Igor, when he gets in a fight with Sgt. Zale.
Coincidentally, in a B plot about a patient of Hawkeye's who trusts him to change his scrip for him, the patient's name is Boone, which was the name of the character Peter Reigert played in Animal House!
Favorite Line: Hawkeye and B.J. break up the fight between Zale and Igor, with Hawkeye instructing B.J.: "You take Zsa Zsa, I'll get Eva."
Season 3, Episode 69: Big Mac
Original Air Date: 2/25/75
Written by: Laurence Marks
Directed by: Don Weis
While the doctors are in surgery, Radar gets some amazing news--Gen. Douglas MacArthur is coming to visit the 4077th!
This sends the camp into a frenzy of preparation, except for Hawkeye and Trapper, who could care less.
Frank starts burning books, so Big Mac won't see "some of the smut that's read about here." Hawkeye and Trapper's apathy turns to disgust, that the camp has to be all spiffy just because MacArthur is coming.
Radar sets up the VIP tent with red, white, and blue bunting (Frank and Hot Lips are so impressed at the layout that they end up having sex there, with Hot Lips imagining MacArthur in Frank's place--eww!).
An aide to MacArthur arrives, Col. Whiteman (Graham Jarvis), who gives the 4077th the sequence of events that will take place for the visit. As usual, Hawkeye and Trapper refuse to take any of this seriously. They do make a suggestion that they could perform an operation for MacArthur to follow. Whiteman likes the idea, and Frank volunteers for the surgery. Hawkeye agrees, and offers they perform "a hysterectomy on Major Burns."
After a camp picture, the camp goes into a mock arrival ceremony, to prepare. Radar, playing MacArthur, greets everyone. Frank offers up a souvenir album, but is not pleased to see Hawkeye has filled it with dirty pictures.
A fight breaks out, but then over the P.A. an announcement comes that Big Mac is on his way--he'll be at the 4077th in seconds!
They have just enough time to get into formation, when they see MacArthur's motorcade arrive. But instead of what they were told would happen, the motorcade doesn't even stop--they do a drive-by!
As Henry, Frank, and everyone else picks their jaws up off the compound, Big Mac sees an interesting sight: Klinger, dressed as the Statue of Liberty, complete with burning torch. He gives this show of patriotism a hearty salute, and drives off.
Fun Facts: Loudon Wainwright III makes another appearance as Captain Spaulding, singing a brief song about "Big Mac" at the end of the show.
The actor playing the legendary General MacArthur receives no credit, presumably because he has no lines on the show.
Favorite Line: During Whiteman's routine, he says, "And now, lunch!", causing Hawkeye, Trapper, and Henry to get up, mistaking it for the real thing. I don't know why, but it makes me laugh every time I see it.
Season 3, Episode 59: Adam's Rib
Original Air Date: 11/26/74
Written by: Laurence Marks
Directed by: Gene Reynolds
With little or no wounded to take care of, Hawkeye and Trapper are bored, bored, bored!
To make matters worse, the Mess Tent has served the same awful food for 11 straight days--liver or fish. Hawkeye swears if they serve liver or fish one more time...
They head to the Mess Tent, and indeed, they are serving liver or fish. Hawkeye goes bonkers, at first yelling at the cooks and then leading the whole company in a chant of "We want something else!"
Henry makes a half-hearted attempt at a reprimand, but when he makes an off-handed comment about ribs, it sparks something in Hawkeye: ribs! That's what he wants!
Hawkeye decided he wants--nay, needs--ribs from Adam's Ribs, a takeout joint in Chicago. Henry sort of dismisses this juvenile demand, but Hawkeye won't be dissuaded. In the middle of the night, he has Radar place a call all the way to Chicago, lying to an ever-growing list of people so they patch him in to Adam's Ribs.
Finally, he places an order. The only problem now is, how to get them to the 4077th?
After a couple of false leads, Trapper remembers that he knew a girl in Chicago named Mildred. They call her, and Trapper makes sweet talk with her so she'll go pick up the ribs and ship them overseas. Mildred is pleased to hear from "Big John."
The ribs get stuck in Supply, since they didn't come with the requisite pile of official paperwork. The greedy Supply Sergeant, upon hearing the package contains the famous Adam's Ribs, demands a cut...and cole slaw! He is stunned when Hawkeye sadly informs him that he forgot to order the cole slaw.
Finally, the ribs arrive, and Hawkeye, Trapper, Radar, Klinger, and Henry sit down to eat. Just as they are about to dig in...wounded arrive. Hawkeye, in a rare moment of not dropping everything at the sound of incoming choppers, has to be dragged off by Trapper and Henry, begging for even the tiniest piece of rib to tide him over.
Fun Facts: A fairly silly premise ends up making for a classic episode, due to the superb jokes and excellent comedic performances. The two different phone call scenes--the first with Hawkeye talking to Adam's Ribs, the second with Trapper talking to Mildred--are like classic radio bits, since we only get to hear one side of the conversation.
Neither Frank or Hot Lips make an appearance in this episode.
Favorite Line: When Hawkeye is B.S.ing his way through to Adam's Ribs, at one point he poses as a reporter, doing a story on "Our star-freckled, spangled fighting boys" and gives his name as "Cranston Lamont", a bizarre, out-of-left-field reference to The Shadow that makes me laugh every time I hear it.
Season 3, Episode 55: Check-Up
Original Air Date: 10/22/74
Written by: Laurence Marks
Directed by: Don Weis
Because of a new regulation, routine medical check-ups are now mandatory. Each of the officers have to examine each other, with Hawkeye examining Hot Lips ("The house call of a lifetime"), and Frank examining Trapper.
Except that Trapper won't let Frank do it, and is very surly about the whole thing. When Hawkeye asks Trapper why, he reveals its because he has an ulcer, has had one for a few weeks--but he doesn't want it diagnosed officially because he's afraid of the treatment he'd receive.
Hawkeye, though, is overjoyed: an ulcer is a ticket home! Trapper, responding to the news, is suddenly thrilled as well!
The camp reacts to Trapper leaving--everyone is feeling bittersweet about it, except for Frank of course, who is giddy over the idea of just having Hawkeye to deal with.
They throw a big goodbye party for Trapper in the Officers Club, but just before Trapper heads over there, Radar tells him that while HQ approved the ulcer, they will not be sending him home: in fact, he'll be treated in Tokyo, then shipped to another unit!
Trapper is left with the option of staying at the 4077th and being cured there, which he decides to do, it being the best of two bad choices. He shows up at his party, and announces he's not going anywhere--but not before a drunken Hot Lips tells Trapper she's always had a crush on him.
Trapper ends his not-farewell speech with a comment for Margaret: "I'll see you tomorrow night."
Fun Facts: I was never quite sure what went wrong here: Hawkeye and Henry seem to believe an ulcer earns you a ticket home, but they don't seem to check with anyone at HQ about it. Trapper's bags are packed when HQ says he's not going home--why did everyone wait so long to find that out?
The scene with Hawkeye and Trapper as they unofficially say goodbye is wonderful, sweet and touching, and a decent stand-in for the real goodbye they never got have on the show.
Favorite Line: Hawkeye and Henry give Trapper advice about giving his wife advance warning he's coming home.
Henry: "Riiight--you don't want to walk in on anything."
Hawkeye: "Some of those 4Fs run pretty big."
Season 3, Episode 53: O.R.
Original Air Date: 10/8/74
Written by: Larry Gelbart & Laurence Marks
Directed by: Gene Reynolds
A grueling session in O.R. leads to all kinds of tense and unusual situations
A patient asks to write a letter to his wife, confessing to numerous infidelities, before he goes under. Father Mulcahy takes dictation, but Trapper admonishes him not to send it--"He's gonna pull through."
Frank, feeling the pressure of all the wounded, almost removes the one remaining kidney of a patient before Trapper steps in. Hawkeye performs open-heart massage, pulling a patient back from the brink of death.
Henry has to deal with a patient so badly wounded that, if he starts work, will mean the loss of other, less mortally wounded patients. He grimly decides not to go ahead, basically allowing the solider to die.
Trapper and Frank have a surprisingly candid talk while taking a few minutes off, where Trapper gets a hint of what kind of boy Frank was growing up, turning him into the man he is today. Trapper displays some sympathy, but only goes so far..
There's so many wounded that when Sidney Freedman arrives for a the weekly poker game, he is put to work performing surgery.
Later, Hawkeye is told the patient he worked so hard to save has died in Post Op, leaving him temporarily demoralized, unable to continue working. Sidney gives him a bit of a pep talk, and Hawkeye dutifully goes back to work. To top things off, a fire breaks out on a piece of electrical wiring, but a quick-thinking Trapper puts it out.
After all the wounded are taken care of, we are left with Hawkeye and Trapper, almost completely passed out, as the P.A. announcer tells of a change-up in the command structure, one General succeeding another, ending with "No one's succeeding us...at all."
Fun Facts: Except for an opening scene in the Scrub Room, this episode takes place entirely in the O.R. In addition, there is no laugh track anywhere in the show.
Sidney Freedman's little speech "Ladies and Gentlemen, take my advice--pull down your pants, and slide on the ice", will be repeated in M*A*S*H's very last episode, as Freedman's final exit line.
This episode is not generally listed on any "Ten Best" list from the series, but its one of my all-time favorites: taking place entirely in the O.R., with no laugh track, it feels very different than all the other episodes. While there are some genuine laughs, overall its a very grim episode, with a downbeat ending--yet its that very grimness that, to me, makes this episode so compelling.
Favorite Line: During Hawkeye and Henry's heart-to-heart outside the O.R.: "Wars don't last forever, Henry. Only War does."
Season 3, Episode 51: Officer of the Day
Original Air Date: 9/24/74
Written by: Laurence Marks
Directed by: Hy Averback
With Henry away, Frank is in charge. During Morning Formation, he assigns Hawkeye to be Officer of the Day, but is angered when Hawkeye isn't there to receive the assignment.
He wakes Hakweye up from a deep sleep to give him the OR armband, logbook, plus belt and side-arm. Hawkeye flatly--and imaginatively--refuses to carry a gun.
After dealing with minor annoyances (like inspecting the guards, keeping Klinger from going AWOL, and finding Radar's stolen teddy bear, filched by the two young sons of Trapper's tailor), he has to deal with Col. Flagg, who arrives in camp with a wounded prisoner.
Flagg admits shooting the prisoner while he was trying to get away, and he wants the 4077th to patch him up. Hawkeye and Trapper agree, but are horrified to find out Flagg wants him tended to so he can execute him over the weekend.
Hawkeye and Trapper then stall as long as possible, trying to keep Flagg from taking the prisoner. Frank orders them to sign the patient's release, but they flat out refuse. Flagg finally gets so sick of this, he threatens Hawkeye by cocking his gun and hinting strongly Hawkeye should sign. He does, disgustedly.
Later that night, Flagg watches them load a stretcher into his ambulance, and reminds Hawkeye and Trapper not to take him on again.
But just before the ambulance doors close, we see that the "prisoner" is really Klinger, who wants a trip to Seoul. The ambulance drives off, with Hawkeye and Trapper with a sly grin on their faces.
The next day, Hawkeye recites a report to Radar about the events of the day. Trapper steps in, showing off his new suit. Its a beautiful pinstripe suit, unfortunately, the stripes are going in the wrong direction!
Fun Facts: Edward Winter's Col. Flagg character takes a major leap from his last appearance. In that episode, he was a goofy, way-too-gung ho spy, but in this one he's psychotic and cruel.
Trapper's horizontally-pinstriped suit is one of the great sight-gags of all time. A classic prop, I wonder where it is now?
There's a subtly creepy moment during the confrontational scene with Hawkeye and Flagg. While Flagg demands Hawkeye sign the release, he strokes his gun lovingly.
But that's not what's most interesting: watch Hot Lips in this scene--Loretta Swit has Hot Lips looking positively orgasmic at this display of murderous machismo. Her eyes grow wide, she starts to breathe heavily. She looks like she wants to boff Flagg, right then and there. Genuinely disturbing, and a great little insight into Hot Lips' personality.
Henry, explained as being on R&R, makes no appearance in this episode at all.
Favorite Line: The scene pictured above, with Hot Lips, Frank, and Flagg threatening Hawkeye and Trapper, is fall-down funny, Alda and Rogers seemingly ad-libbing some of the responses.
After one threat, Hawkeye turns conspiratorially to Trapper, and says: "Meanwhile, Aunt Martha, having taken a tramp in the woods, is lying in a ditch at the edge of town."
Its such a bizarre, perfectly-delivered non-sequitur that you can see Wayne Rogers start to laugh out loud, just before the camera cuts away.
Season 3, Episode 50: Rainbow Bridge
Original Air Date: 9/17/74
Written by: Larry Gelbart & Laurence Marks
Directed by: Hy Averback
Hawkeye and Trapper prepare for three days R&R in Tokyo. But their anticipation is cut-short when a supply of plasma arrives, meaning there will soon be a bunch of casualties to put the plasma into.
Its an extraordinarily heavy load--around 400 wounded in three days--and everyone is exhausted. While Hawkeye and Trapper fight with Frank and Hot Lips in the Mess Tent, Henry arrives saying they just got a message from the Chinese--a group of wounded American soldiers require more assistance than they can provide, so they are offering the 4077th the chance to come and get them. The only problem is the Chinese unit is just pass The Rainbow Bridge, which is five miles inside the Chinese border.
Frank and Hot Lips think its a trap, but Hawkeye and Trapper insist they go, saying they shouldn't waste this humanitarian offer. Henry agrees, and soon Hawkeye, Trapper, Frank (goaded into going by Hot Lips, who think there might be a promotion in this), Radar, and Klinger are on a bus, headed for the border.
Once they arrive, they meet the Chinese commanding officer, Dr. Ling Tan (legendary character actor Mako). The Chinese insisted the doctors not bring any guns, but of course Frank hasn't listened. In a tense moment, he goes for his gun, causing Tan to break the deal.
Hawkeye and Trapper talk him out of it, and demand Frank give up his firearm. They all laugh--even the Chinese soldiers with their Russian rifles pointed at the doctors--when they see Frank is carrying a miniscule gun, barely more than a pea-shooter.
The air cleared, Hawkeye, Trapper, Radar, and Klinger collect the wounded, and head home.
Later that day, Hawkeye and Trapper prepare for their delayed R&R trip, but pass out in their bunks from exhaustion. Radar covers them with blankets, wishing them a good night.
Fun Facts: This episode opens up with singer/songwriter Loudon Wainwright III playing Captain Spaulding, singing an original song, "North Korean Blues." Its repeated in the middle of episode, and at the end--this is the closest M*A*S*H would ever get to a musical episode.
Related to that, this episode features an extraordinarily-directed sequence. After the bus drives off, the camera follows a worried Henry as he walks across the compound. Off-camera, we hear Capt. Spaulding play his song, and as Henry continues to walk, he passes Spaulding, providing a sort of Greek chorus for the show:
..its a wonderfully moody, well-composed sequence, timed just right, with an effective use of the song.
This would be first of many appearances by character actor Mako, always playing a different part.
Favorite Line: This episode is full of great lines, but my particular favorite is whe Hawkeye is on the bus, waiting while Trapper goofily embraces Hot Lips in a mock romantic gesture.
Hawkeye: "As for me, I think Ralph Bellamy said it best: 'If I can't get the girl, at least give me more money.'"
Season 2, Episode 48: A Smattering of Intelligence
Original Air Date: 3/2/74
Written by: Larry Gelbart & Laurence Marks
Directed by: Larry Gelbart
After some wounded arrive, a chopper crashes--but the only person wounded is Col. Flagg (Edward Winter), who has a broken arm. Flagg is a uber-tough guy, refusing any pain medication and not finding Capt. Pierce funny at all.
After being bandaged up, Flagg goes to see Henry and admits who he is, including a list of all his multiple aliases. Flagg says he can't officially have been at the 4077, so Henry has to doctor the paperwork.
Later, an old friend of Trapper's arrives, Vinnie Pratt (Bill Fletcher). He tells them that he's part of G2, and he's here to follow up on what Flagg is doing. He reveals that each branch of the U.S. intelligence community investigates one other, which Hawkeye and Trapper find ridiculous and a giant waste of time. Henry is also displeased when he meets Pratt, and just wants the 4077th left out of all this skullduggery.
Flagg's arm heals, but to stay in camp he smashes it, breaking it all over again! He then sends a ridiculously coded message to his superiors, which Hawkeye, Trapper, and Pratt intercept.
To have some fun, Hawkeye and Trapper drop hints that maybe Frank is worth looking into--after all, wouldn't someone with something to hide be as gung ho patriotic as possible?
To lead them on futher, they doctor Frank's file with all sort of incriminating details, which Flagg finds. Then they replace it with a second file, which Pratt finds.
Later, both Flagg and Pratt come to arrest Burns, each for different and conflicting reasons. Frank insists he's innocent, but both Flagg and Pratt aren't moved.
Just as they're about to carry Frank off, Hawkeye and Trapper admit this was all their doing, and they did it just to highlight how wasteful and silly all this spy stuff is. Flagg isn't happy, but Pratt takes it a little better.
Wounded arrive, leaving Flagg and Pratt in The Swamp. They decide to get some coffee, but not before Pratt takes some pictures of The Swamp with a tiny camera.
The episode ends with Col. Flagg's report on M*A*S*H 4077, which "Strongly suggests further observation."
Fun Facts: This is actor Edward Winter's second appearance on the show, but his first as Col. Flagg. Trapper's pal Pratt is never heard from again, but of course Col. Flagg would come back to the visit 4077 several times.
I love how Col. Flagg is in a permanent, pseudo-tough guy squint in his every appearance. Winter's performance--and the show's take on the character--is an example of the concept of the Anti-Comic.
While Hawkeye, Trapper, etc., using humor to repeatedly goof on the whole notion of Authority, and point out the stupidity of violence, bloodshed, and a blinding, unquestioning obedience to one's leaders, Winter's Col. Flagg embodies all those traits--he doesn't make a joke, because he is the joke. He and Archie Bunker would have gotten along great.
In the last scene with Flagg and Pratt, Pratt calls Flagg "Sam." Is this really Col. Flagg's first name, or yet another alias?
This is the final show of the second season.
Favorite Line: When tells Trapper: "You really hit me below the belt", Trapper responds with: "Come see me, I do hernias."
Season 2, Episode 47: Mail Call
Original Air Date: 2/23/74
Written by: Larry Gelbart & Laurence Marks
Directed by: Alan Alda
It's Mail Call at the 4077th, and each member of the camp receives something.
Hawkeye gets a homemade sweater, two sizes too big, from his sister. Henry gets a package of check stubs from his wife Lorraine so he can balance her checkbook for her. Trapper gets a letter and a picture from his two daughters. Frank gets a letter from his stockbrokers, telling him he's now $2,000 richer now than he was a month ago--all thanks to the war and Frank's investments in arms manufacturing.
While Frank heads off to Hot Lips' tent to share the good news, Hawkeye decides to pull a prank on him. He fakes a letter to his stockbroker, mentioning a tip about something called Pioneer Aviation, which will make Hawkeye rich beyond his wildest dreams.
Frank's lip quivers with excitement over the news. When he realizes the letter he's reading is missing a page, he tears up The Swamp looking for the rest. Hawkeye and Trapper watch from afar with amusement. Later, Frank tells his stockbroker to sell all his stocks and put everything into Pioneer Aviation.
Meanwhile, Trapper grows despondent over not being around his girls. He gets drunk and decides he's leaving, right then and there. Hawkeye tries to talk him out of it, but Trapper is so determined he pushes Hawkeye over and starts storming out.
He is interrupted by Frank coming the other way, who dismisses Trapper by saying, "I could buy or sell you!"
Trapper and Hawkeye decide to reveal the trick, having gotten a hold of Frank's letter to his stockbroker. They tell Pioneer Aviation doesn't exist, and Frank storms out.
As Trapper lay the floor, laughing hysterically, Hawkeye uses the opportunity to start unpacking Trapper's hastily-put-together duffel bag.
Fun Facts: Hawkeye mentions a sister in this episode, who basically gets fazed out of existence in later seasons (the same thing that happened to his Mom).
One aspect to Hawkeye's joke I don't understand--Pioneer Aviation doesn't exist. Wouldn't that mean it was impossible for Frank to lose his money? Wouldn't his stockbroker(s) still have Frank's money on hand? But in the final scene with Frank and Hot Lips, you get the impression Frank has lost all his investments.
Favorite Line: When Frank exclaims like a kid upon hearing he's richer, Trapper deadpans, "They're sending him his Captain Midnight ring."
Season 2, Episode 45: Crisis
Original Air Date: 2/9/74
Written by: Larry Gelbart & Laurence Marks
Directed by: Don Weis
Henry calls a meeting of the senior staff, to announce a major crisis: the 4077th's supply line has been cut, meaning the unit won't be receiving virtually any of the basic materials they need--fruit, vegetables, fuel oil, bandages, toilet paper, electrical parts, no mail call, no winter clothing, not even shuttlecocks!
HQ promises there won't be any wounded either, but of course they're wrong, and the wounded start arriving in droves. To conserve materials so they have them for the wounded, Henry, Radar, Klinger, and Father Mulcahy all have to sleep in The Swamp.
Its crowded, but everyone gets along, but even more wounded stream in in the middle of the night. Afterwards, Henry tries to stress to HQ how desperate the 4077th is getting--everything not nailed down is getting burned for heat, and we see an example of that: Henry's desk is getting closer and closer to the ground, his office getting emptier and emptier.
The next night, they all bunk out in Henry's tent, since its smaller and requires less heat. Again, overall good cheer presides, at least until they discover Frank is wearing heated socks, and refuses to share!
They try and pull them right off Frank's feet, causing chaos in Henry's tent. But this tomfoolery is interrupted by more wounded!
During surgery, Radar shows up to announce that a supply truck has just arrived, filled with everything the 4077th needs. The crisis has ended.
Later, Henry thanks HQ, from inside his completely empty office.
Fun Facts: This episode features another instance of Frank, who is always so gung ho and patriotic, thinking only of himself, in this instance wasting and hoarding precious electrical power.
Favorite Line: During the meeting in Henry's office, Hawkeye is last to enter, and as he bursts in, he yells "Ten hutt!", causing everyone to rise to attention.
Everyone except, if you look close, Trapper, who of course is familiar with Hawkeye's pranks. When Henry admonishes Hawkeye for goofing around, Trapper, mostly off-screen, lets out a huge belly laugh.
Season 2, Episode 44: As You Were
Original Air Date: 2/2/74
Written by: Larry Gelbart & Laurence Marks
Directed by: Hy Averback
Without any wounded, the 4077th is bored, bored, bored!
Radar plays the same song over and over again in the O Club, Henry tries to get a tan, and Frank decides to organize and measure all the condiments on the Mess Tent tables.
Hawkeye and Trapper are of course also bored, and they play a practical joke on Frank, who finds himself waking up inside a giant crate, which causes him to not want to turn to the doctors when his hernia flares up.
Finally, Hot Lips convinces Frank to turn to them for the surgery, and neither of them are reassured when they find Hawkeye and Trapper playing cards in ape suits, which just came in the mail.
Hawkeye and Trapper do a medical consult, still in the ape suits, and agree to perform the surgery. But later, just as they're about to put Frank under, wounded arrive!
Frank is able to operate, until he strangulates his hernia causing him immense pain. None of the doctors have the time to work on Frank, so Hawkeye puts him in traction to help alleviate his pain.
Wounded keep coming, and bombs begin to fall all around the 4077th. As Radar tries to get the shelling moved, Frank's hernia gets worse, and Hawkeye does the operation.
The surgery goes fine, the shelling stops, and later in the O Club, Hawkeye is back in his ape suit, "putting the moves" on Henry.
Fun Facts: In the scene where Trapper and Hawkeye discuss whose going to work on Frank, Trapper says he isn't scrubbed, can Hawkeye do it?
Hawkeye agrees, and says: "Yeah, ok--George! Do you wanna, you wanna take over for me?", stuttering over the line.
This line always makes me laugh, because, A)Who the hell is George? Another surgeon we've never met? and B)Its the rare moment where it sounds like Alan Alda flubs a line.
My girlfriend (another huge M*A*S*H fan) and I always say its because, deep down, Alda knew it was a cheesy, deus ex machina line, and even the great Alan Alda couldn't quite sell it. We never get to see who this mysterious surgeon is, and he's never mentioned again.
Favorite Line: When Frank feels around and realizes he's been "crated", he exclaims: "I'm boxed in!" to which Trapper replies, avoiding the subject: "We all feel that way at times, Frank."
Original Air Date: 1/26/74
Written by: Laurence Marks & Sheldon Keller & Larry Gelbart
Directed by: Jackie Cooper
A Korean family moves in at the 4077th, stating that this is their land, and the 4077th is trespassing. They start building a house, right there on the compound.
One of them is a young woman with a baby, who says the father's address is M*A*S*H 4077. Henry assumes (naturally) its "Pierce, and/or McIntyre", but she surprises everyone when she claims Radar is the father!
Henry asks a visiting Captain Pak for help, but he can't convince the villagers to leave. Henry then tries to get help from HQ's Civilian Affairs department, and asks them to send someone.
In the meantime, no one can believe Radar is the father, which gets him mad. He denies being the father, yet he starts acting like one, spending time with the mother and doting on the child. Hawkeye and Trapper take a blood test to get an answer once and for all.
Finally, a Lt. Harper (Dennis Robertson) arrives, to investigate the paternity suit, and sends Radar out of the room. Moments later, Hawkeye and Trapper show up with the results, proving Radar isn't the father.
Capt. Pak talks to the young girl some more, and she admits that the real father left her, and she's been ostracized by her family. Radar was kind to her, so she thanked him by making him the father.
Radar then bursts in, telling a tall tale about how he is the father, but they show him the blood test.
Outside, Frank is shoving all the Korean villagers into a truck, sending them further south to be with other refugees. They offer to take the young girl and her baby with them, so she now has a family.
Hawkeye asks Radar why he lied, and he admit he liked the way everyone treated him when they thought he did the kind of thing that could have made him the father. He admits, indirectly, that he's a virgin, and he worries he'll always be one. Hawkeye reassures him, which makes Radar feel better.
Fun Facts: This is the second, and last, appearance of Pat Morita as Capt. Sam Pak. He was very funny in the part, and fit in well with the gang, its a shame he didn't make more appearances.
There's a funny and unusual scene with Frank where he takes it upon himself to talk to HQ, and he's so chummy with the guy on the other end of the line that the guy makes some sort of verbal "pass" at Frank, which sends Frank into a tizzy, feeling the need to reaffirm his heterosexuality.
Favorite Line: The scene between Hawkeye and Radar when they talk about Radar lying about his "experience" is very sweet. Hawkeye tries to reassure him someday the moment will come, and Radar asks "You think?"
Hawkeye responds with a kind of shruggy affirmative yes, underlining the confidence he has in Radar. Its a very sweet moment, one totally because of Alda's perfect delivery.
Original Air Date: 1/5/74
Written by: Larry Gelbart & Laurence Marks
Directed by: Don Weis
After a week in Tokyo, Henry returns with exciting news: he's in love!
Hawkeye and Trapper are dubious, and even more so when they see her picture, and see how young she is. But Henry is insistent, and worries what he's going to tell his wife Lorraine.
Hawkeye and Trapper tell him to let it go, but they get a better idea how serious he is when he tells them that the girl in question--a Miss Nancy Sue Parker--is coming to visit the 4077th!
Henry then begins to prepare for her visit, working out strenuously, dying his hair, and getting Radar to spiff up the V.I.P. tent. Hawkeye and Trapper continue to mock the whole thing, which irritates Henry. Radar, for his part, seems determined to keep reminding Henry about his wife back home.
Once Nancy Sue (Kathrine Baumann) arrives, Hawkeye and Trapper see what all the fuss is about--Nancy Sue is a well-built, bubbly cheerleader of a gal, who acts like she worships Henry and is very flirty with everyone she meets.
That night, they all meet up at the Officers Club, and everyone notices Nancy Sue. Frank and Hot Lips disapprove ("A married man fooling around with another woman!", Frank snorts), but are tersely polite to her.
After performing one of cheerleading routines, right there in the middle of the club, a patient of Hawkeye and Trapper's needs some medical assistance, but Henry steps in because Hawkeye has been drinking.
Hawkeye walks Nancy Sue home, and she goes from flirty to seductive, planting a big deep kiss on Hawkeye in her tent. Hawkeye, uncomfortable, breaks it off, and reminds her why she's here.
He meets up with Trapper, and tells him what happened. Trapper says Henry is on the phone with his wife, which causes them to run--not walk--into Henry's office.
But when they get there, they're relieved to see that Henry isn't breaking up with his wife. In fact, he's being a dutiful husband, agreeing to balance his wife's check book, even though he's on the other side of the world.
Radar steps in to say good night, and Henry points out that his wife was happy he called: "Which makes me wish I had."
Henry thanks Radar by saying that, tomorrow morning, they'll sleep in for fifteen minutes. Radar, all smiles, agrees.
The next day, Nancy Sue leaves, and Henry is polite but distant. As they all watch her drive off, Henry admits that, even though he couldn't wait for her to come, now he's glad she's gone.
Fun Facts: M*A*S*H was on an extraordinary streak of hot shows in the second season--nearly every episode around this point are classics, with virtually any extended dialogue scene between Henry, Hawkeye, and Trapper featuring a overload of killer jokes and quotable lines.
Actress Katharine Baumann later guest-starred on two episodes of Trapper John, M.D.--unfortunately not playing the same character!
Favorite Line: When Henry and Trapper are operating, Henry is going on and on about Nancy Sue, and even offers that even his wife Lorraine would probably like her.
Trapper, stunned, says: "Henry, step away from the ether."
Original Air Date: 12/8/73
Written by: Larry Gelbart & Laurence Marks
Directed by: Gene Reynolds
The 4077th is visited by Major Sidney Freedman and Capt. Sam Pak (Pat Morita), who are here for an important conference: an all-night poker game in The Swamp!
As Hawkeye, Trapper, Henry, Sidney, Sam, and Klinger ante up, all sorts of mayhem breaks loose in the camp--Radar hits a local with his jeep, and a wounded CID man arrives, but Frank refuses to operate on him because regulations say another CID man must be present, in case the wounded man reveals classified information.
The game's players keep changing, as Henry, Hawkeye, and Trapper keep going in and out to deal with what's going on.
The second CID man, Capt. Halloran (Edward Winter) arrives, but Hawkeye and Trapper have gone ahead with the surgery. Once they assure him the CID man never uttered a word, Halloran is annoyed at Frank for having him drive all the way up to the 4077th for nothing. He ends up joining the game, driving Frank to storm out in frustration.
Later, another one of Frank's patients, an unstable Private named Carter (John Ritter) refuses to go back to the fighting, and takes Frank hostage in the showers!
While Sidney tries to talk Carter down, Trapper sneaks in from the back and gets the gun away from him. Sidney escorts Carter out, talking calmly to him.
Later, the guy Radar hit with his jeep--the famous "Whiplash Wang"--demands money, so everyone in the game antes up a few bucks to give to Radar. Radar pays him off, only to "hit" him again a few minutes later with an ambulance!
Acting like he's been injured again, Hawkeye and Trapper drag him back to Post Op.
Later, early in the morning, everyone is barely awake, having played poker all night. They all want to go to sleep, but groggily deal another hand.
Fun Facts: This is one of my all-time favorite episodes: every scene with the poker game has the flow and feel of an old-time radio show, with the jokes flying fast and furious.
This is the first episode featuring Pat Morita as Captain Pak, and while this is Sidney Freedman's second appearance, its his first as part of the gang. This slight adaptation of the character would turn into a major addition for the show.
Speaking of additions, this is the first appearance of actor Edward Winter, playing a character very similar to Col. Flagg, who Winter would play the next time he guest-starred on the show. Of course, given Flagg's penchant for using fake I.D.s, this could be Flagg pretending to be someone named Capt. Halloran!
There's a great little character moment in the scene where Pvt. Carter is taken away: Hawkeye and Trapper are talking to Frank, and Hawkeye is handed Carter's gun. Hawkeye holds it between two fingers, as if it was maggot-ridden, and drops it on a nearby shelf, his face contorted into a look of disgust. Hawkeye's deep, deep hatred of guns would be returned to in later episodes, but you get to see a glimpse of it here, as part of the background of a scene.
Favorite Line: Henry fiddles with his chips while staring at his cards, so Sidney suggests: "Fondling your chips is very infantile."
Henry, without even looking up from his cards, responds: "Not now, Sidney."
I realize that's not that funny a line just reading it, but McLean Stevenson's delivery is perfect, and you get a good sense how chummy all these guys are with one another.
Original Air Date: 12/1/73
Written by: Larry Gelbart & Laurence Marks
Directed by: Jackie Cooper
Hawkeye and Trapper are frequently stymied in treating patients by the 4077th's lack of an incubator. They lose valuable time sending samples all the way to Seoul, so they set out to see if they can get one.
Their request brings a visit from Captain Sloan (Eldon Quick), who is from Supply. After offering them a jukebox and pizza oven, he turns down their request for an incubator.
Undeterred, they have Radar track some incubators down, and then head out to see if they can corral one themselves. They first meet a greedy Major, who has three incubators, but refuses to give any of them up, in the fear one might break, and then he'd only have two.
They move onto the Major's CO, Col. Lambert (Logan Ramsey), who says he'll give them an incubator...for a $627.00, cost. What an offer!
They keep moving up the chain of command, ending with Gen. Mitchell, who is in the middle of a press conference. Hawkeye and Trapper sneak into the group of reporters, and ask why field hospitals aren't equipped with incubators.
Mitchell won't answer, which causes a stir among the reporters, who begin to wonder if the Army is involved in germ warfare. The press conference becomes a free-for-all, and the doctors are escorted out by MPs.
Later, back at the 4077th, Henry admonishes Hawkeye and Trapper for violating of articles 13-27 of Army conduct, with a repeat on 26! The doctors fess up, and are unofficially put under arrest.
As they leave, they are delighted to see Radar has something for them--an incubator! How did he do it, they ask?
Turns out Radar traded in Henry's newly-requisitioned barbecue grill to get it, so Radar asks if the incubator can cook Henry's steak rare.
Fun Facts: During OR, Henry tries to warn the doctors that they might meet a lot of resistance in their search for an incubator, and warns them not to show up "Looking like a couple of freelance abortionists." Wow, that's a hell of a line...
Favorite Line: During the press conference, Gen. Mitchell exclaims: "Now hold on, this is a press conference! The last thing I want to do is answer a lot of questions!"
The more things change...
Original Air Date: 11/24/73
Written by: Bernard Dilbert, Larry Gelbart & Laurence Marks
Directed by: Jackie Cooper
Almost the entire staff of the 4077th is sick with the flu, including Trapper and Henry.
Wounded arrive, so there's only Hawkeye and Frank, but the flu eventually claims Frank, too, leaving Hawkeye all alone. Wounded keep arriving, and in the few moments he has, Hawkeye keeps calling HQ to try and get them to send help, but they are no help.
Hot Lips insists on taking command of the camp, and people like Radar and Father Mulcahy are drafted into assisting with nursing duties, making the sessions in OR a shambles.
HQ then sends a serum to prevent the flu, and Hawkeye and Hot Lips give it to each other (Hawkeye insisting he get his in his back side, embarrassing both Hot Lips and Radar). After getting it, Hawkeye promptly gets the flu. But being the only doctor in camp, he can't let himself be out of the game, so he continues working.
After one more grueling session in OR, Trapper, Henry, and Frank are back to normal, where they can tend to Hawkeye, now sick in bed, with the help of Dr. O'Reilly.
Fun Facts: There's a portion of the show that was always clipped out in the syndicated version, where Hot Lips comes to The Swamp to get Frank's Bible. She insists she is in command, and Hawkeye agrees.
But then Hot Lips keeps arguing, restating she's in charge, and Hawkeye can't believe she "Won't take 'Yes' for an answer." Its a great little insight to the mind of someone like Hot Lips, who simply can't fathom that someone wouldn't want to be in charge, if given the chance.
Favorite Line: In the scene described above, after Hot Lips asks where Frank's Bible is, Hawkeye points to a shelf, saying its "Underneath the catalog from the Japanese sex shop."
After Hot Lips protests, he adds: "You'll find a page creased in the Inflatable section." Zing!
Season 2, Episode 33: Dear Dad...Three
Original Air Date: 11/10/73
Written by: Larry Gelbart & Laurence Marks
Directed by: Don Weis
Hawkeye writes another letter home to his Dad. This time, the problem is boredom...without lots of wounded to care for, there's nothing to do at the 4077th. Trapper is so bored he's playing cards with Frank (which quickly breaks down into a screaming match).
A few patients do require extra attention--one is Pvt. Condon (Mills Watson) who, when he sees Nurse Bayliss retrieving a pint of blood, asks Hawkeye to make sure he "Doesn't get any of that darkie stuff."
Another is a wounded solider who arrives in Pre-Op with an unexploded grenade embedded inside him. Surrounded by sandbags, Hawkeye and Henry pry it out.
Hawkeye and Trapper decided to pull a prank on Condon. While he is sedated, they paint him with some sort solution that temporarily paints his skin a few shades darker.
In the meantime, Hawkeye and Trapper watch a home movie of Henry's in his office, and we get our only glimpse of what Henry's life was like back home. We see his wife Lorraine throw a birthday party for his daughter Molly, ending with them holding up signs saying they miss him.
Everyone gets choked up, but the tears are changed to laughter when another piece of film shows up: Henry goofing around with his diminutive neighbor, Milt Jaffee, and romancing Jaffee's curvy wife Sylvia, silent film-style. They enjoy it all so much they decide to watch it all over again.
Later, Condon wakes up, and is upset at what he sees. He asks Lt. Bayliss about it, and she assures him that she won't give away his attempt at "passing." To make matters worse, Klinger comes by, and when asked if Condon seems different, Klinger asks "Are you sure you the right color blood? ...Its happened before."
The surgical staff has a monthly meeting, which quickly dissolves into a shambles once they Hawkeye and Trapper make fun of Frank's middle name, Marion. Frank and Hot Lips have an argument, which just as quickly turns into a moment of passion.
Later, in Post Op, Condon flags down Hawkeye and Trapper, angry about his change of skin color. They act incredulous, asking isn't skin all the same? Then they ask him if he's ever heard of Dr. Charles Drew.
Dr. Drew invented the process for separating blood so it can be stored--plasma. He was later in a car accident, but he bled to death: the hospital wouldn't let him in--it was for White's Only.
Later, during a party in The Swamp, Condon arrives, ready to ship out. He thanks Hawkeye for "Giving him a lot to think about", and takes a moment to salute Lt. Bayliss.
Hawkeye ends his letter on a happy note.
Fun Facts: During O.R., when Radar tells Henry about the patient with the grenade, Henry speaks to someone off screen and says "Collins, you take over here." Who is Collins, exactly? Another doctor we've never seen?
Lorraine Blake is played by Kathleen Hughes, who appeared in the classic It Came From Outer Space. Her memorable screaming scenes ended up turning her into the most famous icon from that movie.
The story about Dr. Drew bleeding to death because of a White's Only hospital is apocryphal--according to one of the people traveling with Drew during the accident, they received proper medical care, but Drew's injuries were just too severe.
Favorite Line: During Henry's home movie, he mentions that his next-door neighbor Milt Jaffee is a gynecologist. Trapper adds: "I hate to ask what's on the other side."
Original Air Date: 10/27/73
Written by: Carl Kleinschmitt, Larry Gelbart & Laurence Marks
Directed by: William Wiard
Hawkeye is busy trying to make time with a new nurse, Lt. Hoffman (Corrine Camacho). After the movie, they wander back to her tent, but she rebuffs him, offering him a handshake. Hawkeye looks at her hand in disbelief.
Back in The Swamp, Hawkeye is drowning his sorrows, when a Cpl. Walker comes by, asking for Hawkeye's help.
Walker has a "wife" (a Korean woman who would only sleep with him if they were married, so Walker had the cook perform the ceremony), and a baby. The baby is sick, and Hawkeye diagnoses it as colic.
Walker also tells him another problem he has--he's being shipped out in a few weeks, and he doesn't want to leave his wife and kid behind. He asks Hawkeye for help.
Hawkeye gets Henry involved, who warns Hawkeye that the Army takes forever to clear all the paperwork, and its a red-tape nightmare.
The next night, Hawkeye has another date with Lt. Hoffman, and he is smitten. She's flirty, talks about loves doing things outdoors, as well as golfing. Hawkeye's in love!
The next day, a Lt. Willis (Burt Young) from C.I.D. arrives to look into the Walker matter. He needs to talk to Hawkeye as well as Walker, and starts asking about Hawkeye's past.
This drags Hawkeye from another date with Lt. Hoffman, and he is none too happy about that. But he dutifully answers Willis' questions, and in so doing let's it slip that Walker and the woman have a baby. Willis flatly denies the marriage application on the spot.
Hawkeye makes apologies to Lt. Hoffman, asking to give him just a little more time. He and Trapper decide to frame Willis--they drug his drink, knocking him out. He wakes up covered in lipstick and women's undergarments, with Hawkeye and Trapper promising they took pictures.
Willis thinks they're bluffing, but he can't be sure. After suggesting they're going to make a case either way, Willis gives in to Hawkeye and Trapper, approves the marriage, and hot foots it out of the 4077th.
Hawkeye finally makes it back to Lt. Hoffman, and she asks him what kept him. He tells her about Walker, and his wife and baby. Hawkeye then wants to return to romance, but Hoffman keeps asking questions.
She finally asks, incredulously, "..and so you had to arrange for a marriage between one of or guys and a gook?"
Hawkeye, his romantic interest rapidly fading, tries to assuage her, but once she starts talking about "our people", Hawkeye pulls away. He then gives her a handshake, saying he wants the original one back. He tells her that, even with all her beauty and charm, "There are some pretty unappetizing ideas in there and I don't think I can take the mix."
Lt. Hoffman is incensed at this, and asks, "Is that all?" Hawkeye, while stealing back the bottle of wine he brought, says no, offering her a big fat raspberry as he leaves her tent.
Later, Walker and his "wife" are genuinely married by Father Mulcahy, with Klinger catching the bouquet.
Fun Facts: The final scene with Hawkeye and Lt. Hoffman has genuine tension, partly because you don't see it coming. But then when Lt. Hoffman says that one word, you react the same way Hawkeye does--one of shock.
The show gives Hawkeye the chance to tell off the racist Lt. Hoffman in very clear, crisp--yet funny--terms. I wish, when I've been faced with similar comments, I had had the guts and quick wits to say something similar.
There's a running gag in this episode about John Wayne movies that don't show up when they're supposed to, leaving the 4077th with just Bonzo movies to show over and over.
They also show The Thing That Ate The Bronx, which Henry says he could "Watch that every night." Sadly, there is no such movie, which is really too bad--it sounds like a lot of fun! (I hope Ray Harryhausen did the effects)
Favorite Line: When Hawkeye tells Walker he'll try to help out the marriage paperwork, he offers: "When it comes time for the circumcision, ask me, not the cook."
Original Air Date: 10/20/73
Written by: Marc Mandel, Larry Gelbart & Laurence Marks
Directed by: William Wiard
One of the wounded in surgery is an angel-faced five year old boy named Kim. They ask Radar if he's can track down his parents.
In the meantime, Hawkeye and Trapper try and care for the kid, including reading to him from a trashy paperback and giving him a jar of pickled onions.
As Trapper makes toy balloons for him (made from rubber gloves), he grows attached to the boy. Meanwhile, Henry talks to a local orphanage, making plans for them to take Kim if his parents can't be found.
Radar draws a blank on finding Kim's parents, and Trapper decides he can't stand the idea of Kim going to the orphanage. He writes his wife, asking her if she'd be willing to adopt Kim. He wonders whether its a mistake, but Hawkeye assures him, "How can it be a mistake giving a kid his life?"
In the meantime, they all spend time with Kim--Trapper teaches him magic tricks, Hawkeye takes him to the movies, Hot Lips reads to him, Klinger plays catch with him.
Finally, a letter from Trapper's wife arrives, and she's agreed to adopt Kim! Hawkeye, Trapper, and Father Mulcahy enjoy a celebratory cigar.
That same day, Frank and Hot Lips take Kim on a picnic, but they're so busy making moon-eyes at each other they don't notice Kim has wandered into a nearby mine field!
Trapper runs into the mine field to rescue him, but stops halfway when he realizes what's he's doing. Hot Lips yells at Kim, sitting on a rock, in Korean telling him not to move.
Hawkeye grabs the maps for the mine fields, and Henry directs Trapper through it. But halfway through, they realize its the wrong map--its a World War II surplus map!
Just as they find the right one, a chopper pilot arrives, and lowers a rope to Trapper, lifting him up, over to Kim. He scoops Kim up, and they are carried to safety.
As they celebrate, Sister Theresa unexpectedly shows up, along with Kim's mother, who showed up at the orphanage looking for her son. They embrace, and Kim leaves along with them.
Trapper stands in the road, watching the truck leave. He tries to make the best of it, suggesting back home, he'd be the kind of kid who crosses against the lights. Hawkeye offers him a drink, and they walk back to The Swamp.
Later, Radar tells them Kim will come back for visits, which makes both Hawkeye and Trapper feel better.
Fun Facts: This episode's a nice change of pace, in that its Trapper who takes center stage in the second and third acts. Offering to adopt the boy is such a generous, kind, loving act, its amazing that Frank and Hot Lips would continually brand him a moral degenerate.
There's a scene in the Mess Tent where Hawkeye and Trapper goof on Radar for how much food he's eating, and it goes on so long that it becomes pretty mean. Radar finally storms off, and I would have, too!
Hot Lips makes an attempt to learn--and then teach--Kim the Korean language, not English. Her knowledge of Korean would come in to play in several future episodes, which I always thought was a nice touch, especially in contrast to Frank, who always insisted on speaking English, in some weird form of patriotic protest.
Favorite Line:The book Hawkeye is reading to Kim has no cover, so you can't see what it is. There's an amazing, hard-boiled line from it: "Margo smiled at me, and four hundred angels sang 'You Made Me Wanna Do It', the Cole Porter arrangement. Then she came close, and I could smell her perfume. It made me want to leave my wife and children, and I'm not even married. 'Hi, gorgeous, I said, then somebody hit me with a piano and the floor came up and smothered me.'"
I assume that passage was written by the show, since its so over-the-top hard-boiled that it can't be from a real paperback. But if it is, I really wanna read that book!
