skip to main |
skip to sidebar
Season 5, Episode 108: Exorcism
Original Air Date: 12/14/76
Written by: Gene Reynolds & Jay Folb
Directed by: Alan Alda
A Korean peddler pushing an overloaded a cart full of knick-knacks set up shop on the compound. Col. Potter asks the man to leave (giving him an hour to have a "going out of business" sale), because he's blocking traffic.
He also asks Radar to move a "spirit post" that some of the locals set up, to ward away evil spirits. Potter, not believing in any of that stuff, asks Radar to move it out of the way. Radar tries to talk him out of it at first, but Potter insists.
No sooner does he move it, then a young Korean man riding a bike loses control and crashes into the peddler's cart. Then more unusual phenomena take place: a gauge breaks in the middle of an operation, an O.R. bulb bursts, the P.A. conks out, Col. Potter stabs himself with his scalpel, and Hawkeye accidentally breaks Frank's mirror, cracking the glass in two.
Hoping to change their luck, Radar puts up a horseshoe on Col. Potter's office wall. Potter still scoffs at the idea, but likes the horseshoe as a simple ornament.
Later, a jeep carrying some of the 4077th's patients home crashes, and they are all brought back to camp. One of the other wounded is a very old Korean man, who doesn't want to be operated on at the camp because of supposed evil spirits haunting the place. He's so scared he won't let Hawkeye touch him, even though it means he'll probably die because of his injuries.
His daughter, who followed her father to the 4077th, says there is a village priestess who can perform an exorcism, which would put the old man at ease. After a debate about it in Col. Potter's office (with Frank against it, of course), they bring the priestess to the camp, where she performs an intricate, colorful, and (to the members of the 4077th) baffling ceremony.
The old man, now relieved, allows Hawkeye to perform the operation. All of a sudden, the P.A. starts working again, and the gauge that was broken earlier is now fixed. Hmm...
Later, as a way to say thank you, the old man's daughter gives Hawkeye a metal wind-chime: "Not for scaring away evil spirits--for decoration."
Col. Potter, just to be safe, has Radar put the spirit post back where it was. Radar, as always, is ahead of him, having already done so.
Fun Facts: The scene in Col. Potter's office debating whether to let the exorcism go forth is interesting, and I love Father Mulcahy's open-minded approach to spirituality--he's eager to see the performance, and even quotes the Bible in support of the idea, much to the chagrin of Frank.
Favorite Line: Klinger assures Col. Potter and Father Mulcahy that there are evil spirits, curses, and the like.
He tells a story: "I come from a long line of short-nosed people. One day, my Grandfather's camel spit in the eye of the village witch. Ever since then, we've been growing them like this", pointing to his own sizeable nose.
.
Season 5, Episode 107: The Colonel's Horse
Original Air Date: 12/7/76
Written by: Jim Fritzell & Everett Greenbaum
Directed by: Burt Metcalfe
Col. Potter gets some R&R, so he's headed off for a second honeymoon with his wife in Tokyo.
Before he leaves, Hot Lips tells him that her appendix is acting up, and she wants permission to go to Tokyo to get it removed. Potter suggests having the procedure done at the 4077th, but she doesn't want Frank--who handles routine surgeries--to touch her. Hot Lips asks if Hawkeye can do the procedure, if necessary, and Potter agrees.
A few days later, Radar is shocked to find Col. Potter's horse, Sophie, laying down in her corral, sick. He asks Hawkeye and B.J. for help. They try to beg off, but Radar finally guilts them into it. At first, they don't really take this seriously, and they make so many jokes Radar gets mad at them for their indifference. Hawkeye and B.J. straighten up.
After examining Sophie and not being able to figure out what's wrong, they call B.J.'s father-in-law who is more familiar with veterinary medicine. He tells B.J. that Sophie has Colic, a twisting of the intestines, which could be fatal.
The prescription is to "clean her out" with lots and lots of warm water, an unappealing prospect. But Hawkeye and B.J. persevere--they hook a hose up to the camp water tank, and with the help of other people in the camp, they fill the tank with warm water, sending it down the hose to the other end, where Hawkeye is handling the rough part.
After a minute or two, Sophie whinnies loudly, kicking a wall of her corral--mission accomplished! Just in time for Col. Potter to arrive back in camp. He asks Radar hw Sophie's doing. Radar assures him, "Clean as a whistle, sir--inside and out!"
That night, Hot Lips staggers into the Swamp, doubled over in pain--her appendix about to burst. Hawkeye grabs B.J. and they take her to the O.R. Potter and Mulcahy are there, too, and then Frank bursts in, demanding to be the one who performs the surgery. Hot Lips tells him in no uncertain terms to get out.
The next morning, both Col. Potter and Hawkeye escort their respective patients for a stroll of the compound, both ladies feeling much better.
Fun Facts: "The Colonel's Horse" is one of the series most dull episode titles. To be fair, these were never meant to be broadcast or known outside the network and the studio, but considering the episode is about two sick females (Hot Lips and Sophie), a title reflecting that might have been a bit more appropriate.
Favorite Line: Hawkeye wakes B.J. up by throwing a pillow at him. B.J. annoyed, asks, "What? What?"
Hawkeye: "Appendix!"
B.J.: (trying to go back to sleep) "Never heard of him."
Season 5, Episode 106: Hawkeye Get Your Gun
Original Air Date: 11/30/76
Written by: Gene Reynolds & Jay Folb
Directed by: William Jurgensen
During a long, grueling session in O.R., Frank keeps making less-than-subtle comments about Col. Potter's age, and how he might not be as capable as his three younger surgeons. Potter is, of course, insulted.
Later on, the 4077th gets a message from a Korean hospital, asking for help--two doctors, and all the medical supplies a jeep can carry. While trying to decide who will go, Frank puts his foot in his mouth again, suggesting that Potter is too old to go on this mission.
Potter uses a deck of cards to decide who's going to go--and it ends up being Hawkeye and...Col. Potter.
As they climb into the jeep, Potter notices Hawkeye does not have his standard issue sidearm. Hawkeye argues he doesn't want to bring it, but Potter insists.
Soon, they arrive at the Korean hospital, but it's not quite a hospital--its more of a dilapidated hut. The commander, Major Choi (Mako), greets them, and immediately puts them to work.
Hawkeye is dismayed (and more than a little snide) at the lack of sterile conditions, but Major Choi reminds him they are making do with what they have.
Its a marathon session, with the added feature of shelling going on outside. Eventually, Hawkeye and Col. Potter try to catch some sleep in a side room, resting on a wooden crate. Hawkeye boasts he can put Potter to sleep, and tries to pseudo-hypnotize him into doing so. It works, but in reverse--its Hawkeye who passes out, leaving Potter to go back to work.
Surgery goes on all night, eventually ending in the morning. Major Choi commends them on their work, and they head home.
On the way back, Hawkeye and Potter drink liberally from a canteen of booze Klinger packed in their jeep. They both get hammered and silly, but things get serious when bombs start to fall on the road they're driving on, getting so close they stop the jeep and hide in a nearby ditch.
A shell hits their jeep, blowing it up ("The case will be in court for years!", Hawkeye comments). Then bullets start to fly, and Potter, refusing to be "dragged off to some Chinese prison camp", empties his gun firing back.
He insists Hawkeye do the same, but he adamantly refuses. Potter flat out orders him to, yet Hawkeye still refuses. He lets Potter know it is simply not in him to shoot anyone, for any reason.
Finally Potter talks Hawkeye into it, telling him to think of the gun as "The biggest noise-maker in all of Korea." Hawkeye relents, but only partially--he shoots straight into the air, warning everyone within earshot to take cover. Now that he's used up all his bullets, he reasons, can he go home now?
Potter is amazed at the extent of Hawkeye's refusal to play along--simultaneously angry and impressed. But since he's also drunk, he finds it very funny. They both end up giggling in the ditch, just as the bullets stop flying.
They wander back, running across a platoon of U.S. soldiers. Told that the North Koreans have moved out, Hawkeye and Col. Potter are safe to walk home, staggering drunkenly as they do it.
That night, Frank visits Col. Potter to say goodnight, amazed that the old man is still standing, let alone awake. Potter says he's about to do fifty push-ups, would Frank like to join him?
Frank begs off, leaving Potter to crawl into his bed, finally going to sleep after a very long day.
Fun Facts: This is actor Mako's second appearance on the series, after first appearing in Season 3's "Rainbow Bridge."
Hawkeye's utter hatred of guns ("Look, Colonel--I'll treat their wounds, heal their wounds, bind their wounds, but I will not inflict their wounds!") had a huge effect on me as a kid.
Combined with another hero of mine, Batman, who had a similar view of them, I grew up with a visceral dislike of guns and the damage they cause. (I later spent some time skeet-shooting and target-shooting, with a variety of guns, coming away with an even bigger feeling of disgust. But I felt better--or more informed, at least--for getting some actual, real world experience to back those initial feelings up)
Favorite Line: Col. Potter defends his ability to go on the mission to Frank, by saying that "I may not be a colt, but I'm not an old grey mare, either!"
Hawkeye, backing him up: "She's right."
Season 5, Episode 105: The Korean Surgeon
Original Air Date: 11/23/76
Written by: Bill Idelson
Directed by: Gene Reynolds
A batch of wounded arrive, including some North Koreans. Even more unusual, one of them is a doctor--a surgeon and an officer named Dr. Paik (Soon-Teck Oh).
Frank, of course, wants nothing to do with him, so Hawkeye offers to perform the surgery, and tells Dr. Paik to assure another wounded North Korean--who is afraid he will be killed during surgery--that he will be treated well by the 4077th.
Later, in Post Op, Dr. Paik tries to help clear the breathing tube of a solider laying nearby, but is spotted by Hot Lips, who mistakes him for trying to kill the young man. Frank and Hot Lips want Dr. Paik strapped to his cot, but Hawkeye and B.J. refuse to treat Dr. Paik so suspiciously.
In conversation, Dr. Paik mentions he's not looking forward to going to a prison camp, where, as a doctor, he'll treat such mundane conditions as foot fungus and worms. He says he'd even be willing to work at the 4077th, if possible.
Hawkeye and B.J.'s wheels start spinning, and soon they are asking Radar for help in getting a set of fake papers, in an attempt to get Dr. Paik transferred to the 4077th.
Soon, they are faking Dr. Paik leaving on the bus. They sneak him off, shave his goatee, give him a haircut and glasses, and within a day he arrives as Captain Cho-Wan Ho, Class of 1939, Chicago (which is really where the doctor went to school).
Col. Potter is happy to have the extra help, but Hot Lips seems suspicious, wondering if she and Dr. Ho have met before. He tries to throw her off by suggesting they met a bar one night, but she remains unsure.
Dr. Ho proves to be superb surgeon--Col. Potter is pleased, but Frank and Hot Lips are not so easily mollified.
Later, two South Koreans arrive, claiming to be from a nearby unit, asking for medical supplies. Frank initially refuses, but after they butter him up, he orders Radar and Klinger to get what they ask for.
Dr. Paik oversees this, and tells Radar and Klinger that the two men are imposters--North Koreans dressed in stolen uniforms. He tells them that they are "heavily armed and dangerous", and the best thing to do is to simply give them what they want, and they will go, peacefully.
Frank, in an attempt to brag to the two North Koreans, ends up talking himself into going along with them, "back to their camp", ostensibly to give a lecture.
Radar rushes into Col. Potter's office, telling him what happened. Potter asks how Radar knew the two men were North Korean, and he says Captain Cho told them, a fact that only underscores Hot Lips suspicions--she was in Potter's office, insisting he check up on the new doctor.
Later, Col. Potter arrives in The Swamp, and tells them he knows what's going on. Hawkeye and B.J. try and defend Dr. Paik, and Potter, while sympathetic, insists Paik must be put under arrest.
Meanwhile, the two North Koreans stop their jeep with a jerk, and order Frank out--he's such an annoying chatterbox they can't stand him anymore, even with his worth as a hostage. They drive off, leaving Frank to wander home.
Dr. Paik packs up to leave, and Hawkeye and B.J. give him a cake as a going-away present. Dr. Paik is philosophical about the whole thing--he knew it couldn't last, but was happy to have helped while he could.
In the back of a jeep driven by some MPs, Dr. Paik passes Frank walking by. Laughing and waving, he whizzes by, leaving Frank confused.
Fun Facts: This is actor Soon-Tek Oh's third appearance on the show.
This is pretty much the last episode featuring Frank and Hot Lips as a team, where they are trying to thwart the efforts of Hawkeye (and Trapper at first, now here B.J.).
One of two North Koreans is played by actor Larry Hama, who would go on to have a hugely successful career as a comic book artist, writer, and editor, best known for being the main creative force behind Marvel Comics' long-running G.I. Joe series.
Favorite Line: Frank, sneering at the North Korean doctor, says to Hawkeye: "You want to hear an odd one? This pinko here is trying to teach me medicine."
B.J., without breaking stride, walks by and adds, "Tell him he's wasting his time."
Season 5, Episode 104: Mulcahy's War
Original Air Date: 11/16/76
Written by: Richard Cogan
Directed by: George Tyne
Some wounded arrive, and one of them has a wound that was clearly self-inflicted. Hawkeye and B.J. try to hide that fact from Frank, who would surely drum the young man up on charges.
So Hawkeye asks Father Mulcahy to talk to him in Post Op. He talks to Private Fitzsimons (Brian Byers), who come from the same stomping grounds, and even knew the same World War II Chaplain, Marty "Boom Boom" Gallagher. The chat is amiable, until the private says he's not sorry for what he did to get out of fighting, and he'd do it again.
Mulcahy tries to show him the error of his ways, but Fitzsimons is adamant. He even gets angry when Mulcahy reveals he's never been to the Front, and Fitzsimons refuses to talk anymore.
This leaves Mulcahy feeling insecure, and he asks Col. Potter if he can take a trip to the Front once in a while. Potter refuses, saying its too unsafe.
Meanwhile, an aid station calls the 4077th and says they have a soldier with a bad chest wound who needs immediate surgery. Hawkeye gets Radar and Igor to go get him, but Mulcahy takes Igor's place, without anyone's permission.
Mulcahy and Radar get the soldier, but on the way back, they see the soldier starts to choke, and can't breathe. They call the 4077th to find out what to do, and Hawkeye talks Mulcahy through a makeshift tracheotomy, which he performs perfectly, if a bit nervously.
They make it back to the 4077th, and the solider is rushed off to surgery. Potter is a little mad at Mulcahy, but lets it go.
Mulcahy, now having seen the war up close, goes back to visit Private Fitzsimons, who is impressed at the Father's bravery, and agrees to talk again.
Fun Facts: The first episode that really focuses on Father Mulcahy, and William Christopher rises to the occasion--his scenes with Radar while bombs are falling are wonderfully exciting yet funny.
The actor playing the aid station surgeon (Ric Mancini) is, for some reason, entirely dubbed by Johnny Haymer, who played Sgt. Zale.
Favorite Line: Mulcahy feels compelled to say a prayer before he cuts into the patient. But with all the pressure, his mind goes blank. Finally, all he can of think of is the one prayer most everyone has heard, whether they're Catholic or not.
Radar exclaims: "That's 'Grace'!", just as bomb falls and explodes a few feet away.
Season 5, Episode 103: Dear Sigmund
Original Air Date: 11/9/76
Written by: Alan Alda
Directed by: Alan Alda
Sidney has come to visit again, and he seems to be staying longer than usual--so long that he has time to write a letter "to" Sigmund Freud, where he tells the world famous psychiatrist about what the calls "a kind of spa"--the 4077th.
He describes each member of the 4077th, and shares stories about them--like the time Hawkeye came to do rounds in Post-Op dressed in a pith helmet and swim fins, delivering one-liners like Groucho Marx.
Klinger, pretending to be hit in the head with a chopper blade, all of a sudden speaks only Arabic. Someone else is perpetrating a rash of practical jokes, and no one is safe--not even Col. Potter.
Meanwhile, A bomber pilot named Hathaway (Charles Frank) arrives in camp, oblivious to the destruction he's causing--and the innocent people he's hurting--by keeping himself above the war, both physically and emotionally.
Sidney comes back to the Swamp one day to find Hawkeye and B.J. reading his letter to Freud, which gets Sidney to open up about what's troubling him. He's been having a very difficult time with his patients lately--he missed the signals one "sweet, innocent, troubled kid" gave him, and the boy ended up killing himself. Depressed and unfocused, he's come to the 4077th to feel better: "There's something special about this place--you give life here."
Later that night, he has a drink with Hot Lips. A nice chat turns into a debacle when the self-described "unflappable" Hot Lips gets insulted when she sees an athletic supporter laying nearby. She gets so worked up Sidney has to put his hat over it so she doesn't have to look at it.
During surgery, the bomb pilot--who is helping out in triage, thanks to Hawkeye--sees that one of the wounded is a little girl, about six years old. He is horrified to learn that she was hit by an overhead bomb, and rushes out of the O.R.
Hawkeye follows him out, and the pilot breaks down, realizing what he's been doing and that this isn't, as he calls it, "a clean war."
Sidney, in his letter, talks about Radar, who seems as childlike as the Korean children he plays with, and yet keeps the chaos of the 4077th running smoothly. We also see that he gently handles the task of writing a letter for Col. Potter to the parents of his friend, an ambulance driver who crashed his vehicle due to careless and rushed driving and was killed.
The one person Sidney can't figure out is B.J.--he seems so calm, so serene, yet he figures there must be something bubbling underneath his calm demeanor.
Sidney's suspicions are confirmed when he sees that B.J. is, in fact, the mad practical joker. He helps B.J. fill Frank's air raid bunker with water, then calls Frank out by yelling "Air Raid!" at the top of his lungs. Frank runs out in a panic, falling into the water and splashing around helplessly.
Sidney finally starts to feel better, and heads back to work, but not before noticing all the tin cans Hawkeye and B.J. have tied to his jeep's bumper. He pauses for a moment, sees what's making all that racket, and then drives on.
Fun Facts: One of my all-time favorite episodes. Sidney was always one of (if not the) my favorite M*A*S*H characters, so having a whole episode focusing on him is a delight to watch. Its a testament to the lack of ego the other cast members must have had, to go along with an episode revolving around a guest star.
There's an extraordinary scene where Col. Potter is mad that "O'Donnell"--the ambulance driver--was driving too fast and caused his ambulance to crash, injuring several soldiers. He barks at Radar to tell O'Donnell to meet him in his office for what's surely going to be a chewing out. He ends with "You got that?!?"
Radar pauses, choked up a little bit, and replies, "He's dead, sir." Potter stares for a half second, saying nothing. He then turns on his heel, and storms off.
I'm not describing the scene well at all, but its a marvel of performance and editing, making for a very powerful moment.
Favorite Line: When Frank pops out from under a pile of laundry, Hawkeye shrugs: "Oh God, I thought that lump under his blanket was dirty laundry."
B.J.: "It is."
Season 5, Episode 102: The Abduction of Margaret Houlihan
Original Air Date: 10/26/76
Written by: Allan Katz & Don Reo, and Gene Reynolds
Directed by: Gene Reynolds
In the middle of night, Hot Lips and Klinger (who is on guard duty) are met by a young Korean girl, who is in distress and asks for help.
Hot Lips, understanding a certain amount of Korean, explains that the young girl says her mother is giving birth, and needs her delivering. She grabs her medical bag and takes off with the girl.
The next morning, Hot Lips is nowhere to be seen. Radar looks everywhere, but can't find her. Frank decides to go find her himself, loading his gun with macho pride.
Unfortunately, as Hawkeye says, "Frank's as good a marksman as he is a doctor", and he accidentally fires the gun, with the bullet nicking B.J. in the leg.
Col. Potter, not knowing what else to do, brings in Army Intelligence. Unfortunately, that means...Col. Flagg.
Flagg does some investigation, including mistaking Hawkeye for B.J., and insisting that Frank's reading material--Reader's Digest--is, in fact, a Commie rag, Red's Digest.
Flagg turns up nothing on Hot Lips, and in Col. Potter's office he has Radar order some artillery strikes! Potter is aghast, but Flagg is not deterred.
But suddenly, Hot Lips wanders in--wondering why everyone is so shocked to see her. She tells them where she was (having successfully delivered the baby) and Potter has Flagg call off all his elaborate plans.
Flagg, though, won't depart until everyone closes their eyes so he can leave mysteriously--like his codename, "The Wind." Everyone initially refuses, but when Flagg says he won't leave unless they do, they shut their eyes immediately.
They hear a grunt and a crash, and see that Flagg has jumped out the window! Hawkeye looks out the hole, and says, dismissively, "'The Wind' just broke its leg."
Fun Facts: A very, very funny episode, featuring one great laugh line after the other, and that's even before Col. Flagg arrives!
Previous episodes have shown Hot Lips learning the Korean language, a nice little character touch that pays off in this episode.
The scene where Frank accidentally shoots B.J. is hilarious. As they drag him to the hospital, he demands that Hawkeye and B.J. not tell Potter who it was that shot him. They promise Frank, just to shut him up.
When Potter asks what happened, Hawkeye doesn't pause for a moment before answering: "Frank shot B.J."
Favorite Line: Radar reveals he's searched for Hot Lips everywhere, except...the Nurses' Showers.
Potter insists he check there, too, but Radar refuses. He thinks for a moment and says, "Can't we find somebody else...like Captain Pierce?"
Potter retorts, "No, we'd never get him out of there."
There's another line just too good to not mention: when Potter is asking Burns what happened, Frank tries to blow past his incompetence and says: "Sir, I think the Chinese have captured Major Houlihan."
Potter replies, deadpan: "I see. So naturally, you shot Captain Hunnicutt."
Okay, one more. Col. Flagg enters Col. Potter's office, not knocking, dressed in some ridiculous costume. Potter, signing some papers, looks up, and without breaking stride, says: "Be with you in a minute, Flagg."
Flagg looks a little disappointed he's been so easily recognized, and then Potter rubs salt in the wound: "Nice suit. Your clown outfit in the cleaners?"
