Season 4, Episode 80: The Kids
Original Air Date: 10/31/75
Written by: Jim Fritzell & Everett Greenbaum
Directed by: Alan Alda
After a long session in O.R., the 4077th gets news that massive shelling is threatening the makeshift hospital run by Nurse Meg Craddy. Potter offers the 4077th to her and her orphans for the time being.
Meg Craddy (Ann Doran) and the kids arrive, and everyone is gentle and kind to the kids, except for Frank, who considers them all "foreigners" and little more than thieves.
Some of the kids bunk in The Swamp, some in Col. Potter's tent (who puts them asleep by reading them an Army manual about how to field-strip a rifle), some with Hot Lips, some in the Officers Club (one thinks Klinger is a woman, and keeps calling him "Mama-san").
One of Craddy's charges, a pregnant teen girl, stopped along the way to visit some relatives. She later staggers onto the compound, wounded. As she collapses onto the ground, Radar calls for help.
Both girl and baby are in jeopardy, and B.J. takes the case, with Hawkeye and Potter taking on other patients as wounded start to arrive. Frank, for his part, is wandering the camp complaining about how all these "foreigners" do is steal. Radar tries to remind him they steal because they're dirt poor, but it barely registers through Frank's thick head.
B.J. gets the girl stable, and then delivers the baby safely--though it arrives with a tiny nick in its butt from the bullet.
Later that night, Col. Potter bestows on the baby a Purple Heart, "donated" by Hawkeye and B.J. Hot Lips wonders sarcastically where they got it from, but you can see she's okay with what they've done.
The next day, the shelling has stopped, and Nurse Craddy and the kids leave to head back home.
Fun Facts: This was Nurse Craddy's second appearance on the series (after Season Two's "The Trial of Henry Blake"). She is played by a different actress in this episode.
Col. Potter knows Meg Craddy already, before she arrives at the 4077th--another example of the many Untold Adventures of Sherman Potter.
Favorite Line: Hawkeye and B.J. are enraged at Frank for putting in for a Purple Heart. They tell him to give it back, and when he refuses, Hawkeye grabs Frank's blood-stained surgical gown and says: "Frank--you don't get medals for other people's blood."
The comment hangs there for a beat, in total silence, as Frank takes it in. Or, more precisely, doesn't.