Season 1, Episode 7: Bananas, Crackers, and Nuts
Original Air Date: 11/5/72
Written by: Burt Styler
Directed by: Bruce Bilson
After a brutal, unending stream of wounded, Hawkeye and Trapper demand some R&R in Tokyo. Henry agrees, and they start to pack.
Their glee is interrupted when more wounded arrive, and things are made even worse when afterwards, Henry leaves to go to a medical conference. They know that acting commander Frank will never give them time off.
Hawkeye decides the best way to get some rest is to act crazy (with Trapper as "The only one that can handle him"), so he goes all out--rebuffing the advances of Nurse Cutler in public, and even pretending to eat a piece of a North Korean soldier who died (ewww!).
Instead of getting R&R, Frank and Hot Lips call in a psychiatrist, Captain Sherman (Stuart Margolin), who examines Hawkeye, who still doesn't drop the act. He messes with Sherman's head, even telling him he has a crush on Frank.
Henry returns, shocked to learn what's been going on. Sherman wants Hawkeye to get actual psychiatric help, and Frank and Hot Lips start going along with it, figuring this is a chance to get rid of Hawkeye once and for all, referring to Pierce as "Poor Hawkeye--poor, sick Hawkeye."
When informed of this, Hawkeye reveals it was all an act, but Capt. Sherman won't listen.
Hawkeye enlists Radar to help with a plan--he has the signs on the V.I.P. tent and Hot Lips' tent switched, ending with Margaret unknowingly walking in on the sleeping Capt. Sherman, and getting undressed.
Sherman, who once had a relationship with Hot Lips, takes this as all the encouragement he needs, and lunges at her. Hot Lips screams for help, alerting the whole camp.
Hawkeye, Trapper, Frank, and the rest storm in, and Sherman is left stammering a half-hearted defense. Claiming it was all a frame-up, his case against Hawkeye is closed.
Fun Facts: Stuart Margolin would return next season, as a different character. M*A*S*H would do that a lot, and as a kid it used to confuse the heck out of me.
Favorite Line: When Capt. Sherman insists he's been framed, Hawkeye laughs it off with the deliberately mangled cliche "You're living in a fool's paranoid."
I still use that phrase to this day.*