skip to main |
skip to sidebar
Season 4, Episode 95: Deluge
Original Air Date: 2/17/76
Written by: Larry Gelbart & Simon Muntner
Directed by: William Jurgensen
A massive deluge of wounded hits the 4077th, and all the various cases are intercut with actual, black and white Newsreel footage from the time--some of it important and newsworthy, some of it silly, like a ping pong-playing cat.
In addition to the casualties, landmines start to explode, set off by the extreme weather changes outside. News breaks that China has ruptured the U.N.'s front line, kicking off "an entirely new war."
The news gets so bad that orders are sent for all the nurses to be shipped out temporarily. But Hot Lips refuses to leave, even in the face of great danger. She feels so strongly she walks in in the middle of Col. Potter taking a shower, demanding she stay: "I was born to serve, Colonel, you must let me!" Potter reluctantly agrees.
Tensions start to flare, with Frank prattling on about how he's happy the Chinese have entered the war, and now the U.S. can "obliterate them all."
To make things worse, a carelessly-tossed cigarette starts a fire in Pre-Op, which Radar and Klinger struggle to put out. They finally do, arriving in O.R. just in time for a bomb to go off just outside, blowing out the O.R.'s windows and causing all sorts of chaos.
Eventually, the deluge subsides, leaving everyone exhausted. Potter walks in on Hot Lips as she is showering (leaving a bewildered Frank, waiting outside), thanking her for staying.
Fun Facts: This is another example of M*A*S*H's timeline being out of whack--in "The Late Captain Pierce", earlier in the season, Dwight Eisenhower is now President. But during one of this episode's Newsreel snippets, Harry Truman is still in office.
Favorite Line: Klinger talks about a kid he knew back in Toledo, Archie Jaglaw, who fell on down a sewer as a kid and was a Nazi ever since. He got turned down by the Army because of flat feet.
Klinger: "You know how he got flat feet? Goose-stepping in his basement!"
Season 4, Episode 93: Smilin' Jack
Original Air Date: 2/3/76
Written by: Larry Gelbart & Simon Muntner
Directed by: Charles Dubin
The 4077th gets a visit from Smilin' Jack (Robert Hogan), a hot-shot chopper pilot, who is working on attaining the record of Chopper Pilot of the Year, by bringing in the most wounded.
Jack visits Hawkeye in O.R., and then asks out a nurse. He then visits his old friend Col. Potter.
Potter and Jack talk about old times, and work out a trade for some supplies. Before Jack leaves, though, Potter notices an old scratch on Jack's hand that he says he patched up months ago. Jack dismisses it, and leaves.
Later that night, Jack is having drinks in the O Club with Hawkeye and B.J., and he's hustling them for drinks by pulling off a trick involving a hypodermic needle. The jovial mood is broken when Potter arrives, officially grounding Jack upon completion of a physical.
Hawkeye and B.J. do the work up, and Jack seems in good shape, except he's unwilling to give them a urine sample. He's so hostile, the doctors bluntly ask him what Potter suspects. Jack fesses up--he's got diabetes.
Hawkeye and B.J. try and press upon Jack the risk he's taking being up in the air while having diabetes. Jack insists no one is grounding him--no one.
Later, Jack jumps in his chopper and heads to battalion aid, in an attempt to pick up four wounded soldiers at one time, therefore beating the record in what he knows will be his last chance.
Col. Potter tries to get him to land, but Jack won't listen. He does manage to bring four wounded back to the 4077th, setting the record. Jack is thrilled to have set the record, only to see Dangerous Dan come in, carrying in more wounded, once again taking the record.
Jack, knowing when he's beaten, hands over all his flying credentials to B.J., and ruefully accepts his fate.
Fun Facts: This is the first episode directed Charles Dubin, who would helm 44 episodes of the series.
Another installment of The Young Sherman Potter Adventures: he mentions another pilot he knew, Duncan McShane, who used to throw grenades from his chopper at targets.
Favorite Line: When Hawkeye and Smilin' Jack are discussing how many wounded he's brought in while Jack flirts with a nurse. He asks her out, and she accepts.
Hawkeye asks: "How many will this make for you, Jack?"
Smilin' Jack: "839--Dangerous Dan's got 842. I need three to tie."
Frank, sitting nearby, exclaims: "Oh, now--that's disgusting!"
Hawkeye, stunned at Frank's mistake, looks at Jack in disbelief. It doesn't read funny here, but the look on Hawkeye's face is priceless.
Season 4, Episode 90: Hawkeye
Original Air Date: 1/13/76
Written by: Larry Gelbart & Simon Muntner
Directed by: Larry Gelbart
On his way back from an aid station, Hawkeye almost hits some kids playing the road. He swerves to avoid them, crashing his jeep and hitting his head. Bleeding, and with the help of the kids, he staggers into a nearby hut, populated by a pair of Korean parents.
None of them understand a word of English, but Hawkeye keeps babbling, trying to keep himself awake. Sure he has a concussion, he writes a note for someone to come and get him, giving it to one of the kids, who will hopefully bring it to the 4077th.
In the meantime, Hawkeye keeps talking--he talks about his time in med school, a particularly stacked waitress he dated, great musicals he's seen, an old math teacher (who had three nostrils, supposedly), and his life in Crabapple Cove.
As he waits for someone to come and get him, and he gets more worried about his concussion, Hawkeye's thoughts turn more serious. He ponders about war and the sheer awesomeness of the human body. He even does some juggling.
Finally, as night begins to fall, he hears a jeep outside. Radar has arrived, and Hawkeye grabs his stuff, thanks them for all their hospitality, and leaves.
A few days later, Hawkeye returns with presents for the entire family, who are happy to see him, even offering him some dinner.
Fun Facts: This episode divides a lot of M*A*S*H fans--some of them find it insufferable, that Hawkeye--who already got the lion's share of screen time on the show--literally got an entire episode to himself.
Others (like myself), find it an interesting experiment (the one M*A*S*H "spec script" I have written in my head is a variation this show, featuring just two of the show's characters in an extended conversation. I'll tell you about it sometime).
This episode, naturally, features no appearances by any of the cast except for Alan Alda. Even when Radar comes to get Hawkeye, he's not seen or heard.
Favorite Line: Hawkeye gives the two smallest kids some treats--candy and comic books. He then pauses, and says, "Not very good for you. You better read the candy and eat the comic books."
Season 4, Episode 75: It Happened One Night
Original Air Date: 9/26/75
Written by: Larry Gelbart & Simon Munter and Gene Reynolds
Directed by: Gene Reynolds
It's cold, cold, cold outside, as we see a change in shifts at the hospital: B.J. is just finishing, with Hawkeye just coming on around midnight.
Unfortunately, the relative quiet is shattered when bombs start falling nearby, causing some of the patients to flip out, one of them almost pulling out his stitches in the progress.
Hot Lips gives Frank a sexy note, but she is shocked to see he tears it up after he reads it. He reveals he has left no written trace of their relationship, and Frank seems worried when Hot Lips reveals she's kept everything he has written her. "Everything?" Frank asks nervously.
The shelling eventually gets so bad Radar wakes Col. Potter up so he can order the nearby artillery unit to move further down the road and give the 4077th some peace and quiet.
Meanwhile, a soldier on guard duty--a kid barely eighteen--accidentally fires his gun, nipping Klinger in the arm, which he of course tries to turn into a major injury--"Now my arm's half-blown off!"
There's a period of quiet, but then the bombs start falling again, and Col. Potter goes further up the chain of command to get the artillery stopped, but is rebuffed.
One patient of B.J.'s starts to go south, so he has to go back in an operate on him again, while Hawkeye and Hot Lips try and contain another patient who is nearly hysterical when he hears the bombs fall.
Finally, near dawn, the bombs stop. B.J. saves his patient, and the other patient in Post Op is sedated so he can rest.
Soon after, Hot Lips goes back to her tent, only to find an unconscious Frank, who tore her tent apart searching for all his incriminating love notes.
Fun Facts: I could never keep track of how the seasons fell on M*A*S*H. In the previous episode, Radar is sitting outside shirtless getting a tan and everyone is in shirts and shorts. In this, the very next episode, its clearly early Winter. Huh?
Favorite Line: Frank chastises Hawkeye for being a few minutes late to Post Op, but he's warmly accommodating to Hot Lips when she's late, as well. Hawkeye is indignant: "I had to bring a note from home."
Season 3, Episode 71: White Gold
Original Air Date: 3/11/75
Written by: Larry Gelbart & Simon Muntner
Directed by: Hy Averback
Its the middle of the night at the 4077th, and everyone is involved in their own activities--Father Mulcahy is praying, Hawkeye and Trapper are with nurses, and Frank and Hot Lips are spending the night together.
Outside, some thieves dressed all in black are sneaking into the Supply Shed.
Klinger, on guard duty, overhears them, and the group splits up. The only one captured is Perkins (Hilly Hicks), who won't say much of anything as to why he and his friends were stealing medical supplies.
The next day, Col. Flagg arrives in camp, on the case of a string of similar robberies. He demands Hawkeye and Trapper turn the patient over to him, but they flatly refuse. He then offers to try and get information from Perkins, but Hawkeye and Trapper try and stop him, saying they prefer to get the info without the use of torture.
Flagg goes ahead anyway, and visits Perkins. But instead of torturing Perkins, he orders him to "take a powder", which he does. Flagg then fakes a fight, smashing up the tent, using his feet, fists...and head.
Hawkeye and Trapper patch Flagg up, but they don't believe his story that Perkins caused all that damage. Later that night, they discover another attempt at someone stealing penicillin--this time it's Col. Flagg!
Flagg says he can use the penicillin to barter with his contacts, to get information about the enemy's movements. That same night, an MP arrests Perkins, and he tells them that he's actually named Johnson, and he works at an aid station, where the penicillin is scarce, if not impossible to find. He's sorry for stealing, and Henry says he could just ask next time.
To keep Johnson safe from Flagg hunting him down, Hawkeye and Trapper come up with a way of sidelining Flagg for a few days. They put some pills in his coffee, which makes Flagg get appendicitis, requiring surgery.
It ends with Flagg recuperating in Post Op, who is sure that Hawkeye and Trapper pulled one over on him.
Fun Facts: This episode's third act storyline--slipping Col. Flagg a mickey so that he'll require surgery--becomes the basis of an entire episode in the seventh season, with very different results.
One of the MPs is played by Stafford Repp, who played Chief O'Hara on Batman. As a kid, I loved seeing two of my favorite shows "cross over" like that.
There's an interesting little aside, which almost sounds like an ad-lib, when Hawkeye and Trapper are putting bandages on Perkins. Hawkeye is cutting the gauze, and Trapper is putting it on the patient. Trapper holds one of the pieces up and says "Hey, cut these longer."
Hawkeye replies, "There supposed to be this short", to which Trapper mutters "No, they're not." Its such an extraneous piece of dialog, I wonder if it was in the original teleplay.
There's a tense scene between Henry and Frank about whether it was justified, allowing Flagg to torture Perkins. Frank is pro, Henry is most definitely not. Wow, an episode featuring a discussion about whether torture is morally justifiable or not. Thank goodness that issue's been settled.
Favorite Line: Col. Flagg proudly states he has official authority to do anything necessary to crack the case--and to die in the line of duty if necessary.
Hawkeye and Trapper find that all very funny. Trapper says, "Hey, that's the spirit." Hawkeye adds, "Yeah, if we had more men like you we'd have less men like you."
Season 3, Episode 67: Aid Station
Original Air Date: 2/11/75
Written by: Larry Gelbart & Simon Muntner
Directed by: William Jurgensen
An aid station at the front sends a message to the 4077th that their surgeon has been killed, and they need the immediate help of a surgeon, a nurse, and a corpsman.
Hot Lips volunteers, but the doctors end up drawing straws--actually, moldy sausages left over from breakfast, picked from a bed pan--with Hawkeye being the one to go. They then pick a corpsman, and Klinger gets picked.
All three of them are clearly rattled about going to the front--Hawkeye tells Trapper there's a will in his locker. Trapper accepts the news with quiet seriousness, although the mood is lightened when Hawkeye says he wants everything donated to the "Benjamin Pierce Memorial Brothel." Trapper promises to deliver the items in person.
On the way to the front, the jeep blows a tire, and its Hot Lips who fixes it. They get shelled, too, but they finally make it to the aid station, which has no roof due to shelling.
Hawkeye, Hot Lips, and Klinger work furiously, trying to give attention to all the patients streaming in. Back at the 4077th, the place is quiet--too quiet. Radar is so depressed he asks to sleep in The Swamp, and Henry wanders in for a nightcap, but ends up sitting alongside Radar well into the night.
After a night of sleeping in a ditch, Hawkeye, Hot Lips, and Klinger head back, with each of them having a better understanding of one another. They even stop for a moment to tell Hot Lips how great she is, something she seems to appreciate. Klinger, a top flight corpsman, pauses to put a dainty pillbox hat back on his head, ready to "rejoin the Army."
Back at the 4077th, Trapper and Frank complain about the poor conditions, like the bad food. Hawkeye and Hot Lips give each other a knowing nod, realizing they never had it so good.
Fun Facts: This episode divides the cast in an interesting, if totally accidental way. The characters that go to the front--Hawkeye, Hot Lips, and Klinger--are the ones who end up staying on the show until the final episode. The scenes back in the camp feature Trapper, Frank, Henry, and Radar, all of whom would leave the show during its run.
This is Klinger's biggest role in an episode to date, and Jamie Farr delivers a more nuanced performance than we have seen to this point. His fear of being killed (in a scene with Radar in his tent) is palpable.
Interesting note: this is the first time we see Klinger's tent. He seems to live alone, a curious amount of space given just one enlisted man!
There's a moment during an O.R. scene where Henry chastises Frank, and Frank mutters under his breath "Oh, mind your own business", an interesting little bit of rebellion from the normally hierarchy-obsessed Burns.
Favorite Line: After Frank makes a snide crack about Trapper letting Radar sleep in The Swamp, Henry responds with: "Frank, it's after five. You can stop being snotty."
Season 3, Episode 64: Bulletin Board
Original Air Date: 1/14/75
Written by: Larry Gelbart & Simon Muntner
Directed by: Alan Alda
This episode revolves, informally, around the camp bulletin board, as we see some of the various events taking place at the 4077th that are announced on the board.
Henry gives the camp a lecture about sex, and a pledge for people to buy war bonds is posted.
Hot Lips asks Frank to borrow some money for her sister, and he refuses, causing all kinds of problems between them.
Trapper writes a letter home to his daughter Becky, telling her about his life at the 4077th, including just how bad a doctor Frank is (he writes off a patient as dead, one that Trapper saves when he realizes he's suffering from Hypothermia).
The night's movie is announced--a Shirley Temple picture--and a fight between Klinger and Zale breaks out during it.
Later, Henry has trouble with a patient, and his mood sours. When Hawkeye and Trapper show him the announcement about a picnic to raise money for Sister Theresa's orphanage, he initially refuses.
But he eventually changes his mind, and the 4077th actually manages to have fun during the picnic--playing music, performing a puppet show for the kids, having an egg race, a sack race, and then finally a tug of war contest, officers vs. enlisted. (In the meantime, Hot Lips doesn't take too well to Frank's offer of a loan...at a small, "very reasonable" interest rate)
Just as everyone ends up in the pile of mud, Radar hears the sound of choppers, ending everyone's fun.
Later, in surgery, Henry quietly suggests that having the picnic was a good idea. Hawkeye and Trapper, happy to hear Henry not sounding so down, agree.
Fun Facts: Hot Lips mentions that her father is dead in this episode, something that conflicts slightly with his appearance in a 9th season episode. She also mentions her sister, a character never referred to again.
The portion of the episode with Trapper writing a letter to Becky is the closest the series got to a "Dear..." episode, narrated this time by Trapper.
Watch the tug of war scene, especially when everyone ends up in the mud. Everyone--even Frank Burns--starts to laugh, and it looks like at a certain point the scene became entirely ad-libbed.
Speaking of that scene, in the original version, everyone watches Radar as he seems to sense chopper approaching. Covered in mud, he simply nods his head, and then starts to walk towards the camp. With his back to the camera, we hear him say "Choppers!", which gets everyone else moving.
In the syndicated edit, someone has taken Radar's "Choppers!" line, and dropped it over the previous shot, even though its clear that Radar's mouth isn't moving.
Favorite Line: The episode opens with Hawkeye and Trapper playing with one of those rubber ball and paddle sets, and Hawkeye, going first, hits the ball about 70 times in a row.
Trapper then boasts he can do it better than that, and takes paddle. After one and a half hits, the ball misses and flops to the side, causing Hawkeye to laugh.
Trapper, angrily says, "What'd you do, change balls on me?", which causes Hawkeye to laugh even louder. Me too.
