skip to main |
skip to sidebar
Season 8, Episode 186: Heal Thyself
Original Air Date: 1/14/80
Written by: Dennis Koenig and Gene Reynolds
Directed by: Mike Farrell
Col. Potter comes down with a case of the mumps, much to the glee of Winchester, who mocks Potter for coming down with a "childhood malady."
Even though Winchester didn't have the mumps as a kid--making him vulnerable to catching them--he is sure his "superior breeding" will keep him safe. Klinger is also susceptible, but unlike Winchester, he's taking it very seriously, keeping Potter at arm's length (he also begins spraying his office with some sort of mumps-killing mist as if he's an exterminator).
Of course, within just a few hours, Winchester catches them too, so he is quarantined along with Potter in Potter's tent, much to both their consternation.
With two doctors out of commission, they put in a request for a replacement surgeon, later that day, one arrives--Captain Steven Newsom (Edward Herrmann), who greets Hawkeye and B.J. with the same quick wit, and they take an instant like to him. As Hawkeye comments, "We can put a sign up in the OR--three stooges, no waiting."
In OR, Newsom shows his chops. Even though he's regularly stationed in Tokyo, he's a superb surgeon, and tells horror stories about his previous experience in combat surgery. Everyone in the unit seems to take to him immediately, and his jokey method while working fits in well.
Meanwhile, Potter and Winchester are at each other's throats cooped up in Potter's tent. Margaret brings Newsom by to meet them, and Winchester embarrasses himself assuming Newsom, after mentioning he's from Chicago, is poorly educated. He's chastened when Newsom mentions he went to Johns Hopkins.
Later that night, even more wounded arrive, so Hawkeye, B.J., and Newsom have to put in another long session in OR. The next morning, Hawkeye finds Newsom wandering the compound, unable to sleep. Newsom admits that the situation at the 4077th is about as bad as everything he's seen.
Later that day, there's more wounded, and with some of the nurses out sick with the mumps, OR is chaotic. During one operation, Newsom starts to seem nervous and indecisive, unable to decide whether to try and save the leg of a patient.
Newsom begins muttering to himself, staring off into space. Hawkeye steps in, but Newsom, instead of taking an easier case, runs out into the hall. B.J. finds him and tells Newsom that he should take a few moments to calm down, but they need him back in there ASAP.
Another badly wounded patient is brought in, but Newsom is nowhere to be seen, leaving Hawkeye and B.J. to handle the load on their own.
Later that night, Hawkeye and the rest try and find Newsom and figure out what happened. Potter, from the door of his tent, alerts them that Newsom is inside.
They find him sitting on the floor of the tent, in tears, rubbing his hands back and forth. Hawkeye and B.J. try and talk to him, but Newsom seems barely there--he mutters a bunch of random thoughts, clearly having experienced some sort of nervous breakdown.
Potter suggests calling Sidney Freedman, and Hawkeye and B.J. head back outside. B.J. marvels that Newsom seemed "As strong as any of us." Hawkeye responds, "That's what scares me."
Fun Facts: Mike Farrell does a great job as director of this episode--his first directorial effort, Season Seven's "Ain't Love Grand?" was a more lighthearted episode, but this one contains some dead serious moments, which Farrell handles well.
This episode's final scene is about Potter and Winchester (and now Klinger) having the mumps, and no mention of Newsom is made. Its too bad that they couldn't have found a way to throw in a line about Newsom, just for the audience to know what happened to him.
There's a great--if grim--moment in OR, where Hawkeye takes over Newsom's patient, the one whose leg is damaged. When another badly wounded patient arrives, Hawkeye says to Margaret to prepare for amputation. Margaret asks if the leg can't be saved, and Hawkeye admits that he doesn't have time--if he saves this leg, he loses that life. What a horrible choice to have to make, just because you don't have the time.
The only thing remotely negative I can think of concerning this episode is how telescoped it is: Dr. Newsom has a breakdown pretty quickly, maybe a little too quickly.
This episode, and M*A*S*H in general, aired before the TV landscape changed where longer "story arcs" became more the norm for prime time TV. So it probably just wasn't a possibility to have Edward Herrmann guest star on the show over two or three episodes, trying to fool the audience into thinking that Dr. Newsom was a permanent addition to the show, and then have him experience his breakdown, which might have packed more dramatic punch.
Favorite Line: Hawkeye and B.J. offer Newsom his first martini, and after a sip, he blanches and says, "Woo--now I know what the corporal is spraying the office with."
Season 5, Episode 119: Post-Op
Original Air Date: 3/8/77
Written by: Ken Levine & David Isaacs, Gene Reynolds & Jay Folb
Directed by: Gene Reynolds
The 4077th is low on blood, so low that they have to call around to other units to see if they can scrounge up some more.
Col. Potter begs and pleads (and Hawkeye demands), to little avail. Things are made even worse when more wounded arrive. This leads to a tension-filled session in O.R., with Hawkeye and B.J. threatening to break Frank's legs when he complains about the working conditions. Potter tells them all to clam up.
In Post Op, various cases are tended to: Hot Lips helps a soldier write a letter home, Klinger helps console a Puerto Rican solider who is upset the doctors had to shave his impressive mustache to patch up his face, B.J. comforts a solider who lost his leg due to a land mine, and Hawkeye gives advice to a solider embarrassed by getting wounded in his rear end.
Frank is worried about his patient, who is still unconscious and can't figure out why. He asks Col. Potter for help, but is really looking more to just find someone to blame. After he learns that the solider was found in his sleeping bag, unconscious, it dawns on him that perhaps a snake crawled in there with him and bit him, knocking him out. He orders Nurse Kellye to give the young man a shot of anti-venom.
One of B.J.'s patients is a soldier who's actually upset he's being shipped home: he has such a great series of black market businesses going on in Korea, he actually tries to bribe B.J. into letting him stay. Of course, it doesn't work.
Klinger helps the despondent Puerto Rican soldier by giving him a custom-made mustache, which he gratefully accepts. Hot Lips rebuffs the advances of a soldier who, even though he's married, pledges his eternal love.
The blood supply gets so low that Col. Potter asks everyone in the camp to donate, even though it's been less than 48 hours since everyone donated the last time. Only Frank has managed not to donate at all, but he's dragged into it by Hawkeye and B.J.
The blood supply problem finally ends when a truck full of Turkish soldiers arrive. Thankful to the 4077th for taking care of one of their wounded, they are here to each donate blood. They file in to the Mess Tent to the applause of everyone in the compound, just as Frank bursts out, chased by a needle-carrying Klinger.
Fun Facts: Almost all of this episode takes place in, as the title suggests, Post-Op, which makes it a nice companion to the Season Three episode "O.R." I guess if the show had gone on past the Eleventh season and they started really running out of plots, we would have had episodes "The Scrub Room", "The Supply Shed", and "The V.I.P. Tent."
Actor Hilly Hicks appears in this episode as a medic named Moody. This was Hicks' second appearance on the show--he played a different character in the Season Three episode "White Gold."
The soldier with all the black market businesses is actor Sal Viscuso, who was frequently one of the always-unseen P.A. announcers on the show.
Radar does not appear in this episode at all.
Favorite Line: Col. Potter commiserates with a solider from Chicago, telling him about all the good times he had there as a young man. When he makes a mistake regarding where a bar he frequented used to be, he shrugs off the soldier's correction with "Well, I used to drink a lot in those days."
Season 5, Episode 117: Movie Tonight
Original Air Date: 2/22/77
Written by: Gene Reynolds, Don Reo, Allan Katz, Jay Folb
Directed by: Burt Metcalfe
Without any wounded to take care of, the 4077th is bored and cranky. A simple session of cleaning up the O.R. leads to each of the staff yelling at one another. Col. Potter gets so frustrated he walks out on all of them.
But Father Mulcahy, coming from Seoul, brings some good news: a movie that Potter requested and he is clearly very excited about. He's so excited, in fact, he announces that his "all-time favorite movie" will be shown after dinner.
The crankiness continues through dinner--everyone's in such a bad mood, no one's talking, so dinner is a tension-filled event. But Potter comes in and announces the night's movie is the classic Henry Fonda picture My Darling Clementine. This--and Potter's enthusiasm--seems to cheer everyone up.
Later, the movie starts, to the cheers and applause of the audience. Unfortunately, just a few minutes into the picture, the film goes off the reel and the screen goes dark.
As Klinger fixes the film, Col. Potter organizes a community sing-along, and after some cajoling they all sing "The Tennessee Waltz."
The film starts again, and runs for another few minutes, when--at a crucial scene--it goes out again. The crowd starts to get really annoyed, when Father Mulcahy--via piano--breaks into "Gee Mom, I Want To Go Home", causing everyone to sing along, and add their own specific sets of lyrics.
Radar then does some impressions, followed by everyone doing impressions of Father Mulcahy (Radar doing the best job), ending with Hot Lips singing a song all on her own, getting so wrapped up in the performance she doesn't even stop after the movie starts up again.
During the film's climactic shoot-out, everyone gets in on the act, play-pretending shooting each other, with them all falling over in mock agony. It leads to everyone laying on the floor as the movie rolls on.
The mood is broken when a jeep arrives carrying wounded, snapping everyone into action.
Fun Facts: Hawkeye and B.J. have an argument about a shirt Hawkeye bought for B.J.--one sleeve is longer than the other. Hawkeye says that nonsense, and puts it on as proof. Unfortunately, one sleeve is indeed longer than the other. One of the show's all-time great props, Hawkeye shifts his shoulders like Quasimodo to make the sleeves even out, a great bit of physical comedy.
The scene of everyone adding their own lyrics to the "Gee Mom" song brushes up against being completely improbable--how do Hot Lips, Radar, the Nurses, et al, manage to come up with perfectly-fitting lyrics so fast? (Ironically, the most realistic addition is from Frank, who clearly was sitting in his seat quietly trying to come up with something, and breaks into the song long after everyone else has stopped)
The episode's final scene features everyone in O.R., quietly singing "My Darling Clementine" in perfect harmony--a nice, mellow ending, and a great way to wrap-up an episode partly about the transformative power of movies and their ability to bring a group of people together, if only for a short while.
Favorite Line: Col. Potter: "Now this movie's a classic--it has the three things that make a movie great: horses, cowboys, and horses."
Season 5, Episode 114: Hanky Panky
Original Air Date: 2/1/77
Written by: Gene Reynolds
Directed by: Gene Reynolds
B.J. makes friends with Nurse Donovan (Ann Sweeny), who seems distracted and sad, but won't say why.
She volunteers to work in Post Op with B.J. to follow up on some cases, and he notices her reading a letter. Turns out its a "Dear Jane" letter, where her husband back home says he wants a divorce.
She initially doesn't want to talk about it any further, but B.J. keeps pestering her to open up. Finally, she agrees, and they decide to talk in her tent later on.
Late at night, B.J. arrives, and Donovan tells him how devastated she is. She feels alone and despondent, and B.J. tries to give her a pep talk. But it goes from a talk to hand-holding, then a hug, then a kiss...
The next morning, Hawkeye sees B.J. at breakfast in the Mess Tent. Hawkeye digs at B.J. a little bit about his not coming home, but B.J. is terse and humorless. He's almost downright rude when Donovan sits down, and after a few seconds of small talk he leaves.
Later that night, Hawkeye catches up with B.J. in the Swamp, writing a letter to Peg. After some nudging, B.J. admits what happened--he slept with Nurse Donovan, and he is completely miserable over it.
He's writing Peg about it, but Hawkeye is adamant that's a bad idea--he ends up grabbing B.J.'s letter, crumbling it up and throwing it in the stove. He tells B.J. that he simply made a mistake, and B.J. can punish himself if he wants, but he shouldn't punish Peg. B.J. agrees, but is still miserable.
In Col. Potter's office, Nurse Donovan asks for a transfer, saying its due to personal problems. Potter gently turns her down, saying whatever problems she's having aren't much compared to what the wounded are going through. Donovan meekly agrees.
Later, while both of them are working in Post Op, B.J. and Donovan have it out, and she lets him know how surly he's been to her since their night together. They talk about outside, and B.J. admits how guilty he feels.
Donovan accepts and understands this, but insists that what he did--comforting a friend in need--wasn't wrong. B.J. admits he's still attracted to her, but she firmly states that just because it happened once, doesn't mean its ever going to happen again: "I have my own problems; I don't need you to solve them for me."
They agree to become friends--closer than most--and they go back to work.
Fun Facts: The scene with Hawkeye and B.J. after he's revealed of his night with Nurse Donovan is great, a wonderful moment between two friends. I just wish it was longer--Hawkeye gives some good advice, but leaves just a few lines too soon for my taste.
Nurse Donovan is never seen again, so Col. Potter must have approved her transfer eventually...
Favorite Line: Hawkeye incredulously tells B.J. that Nurse Donovan turned him down for a date.
B.J., sarcastically: "Oh-ho. Some day she'll look back and want to pound her head on a rock."
Season 5, Episode 108: Exorcism
Original Air Date: 12/14/76
Written by: Gene Reynolds & Jay Folb
Directed by: Alan Alda
A Korean peddler pushing an overloaded a cart full of knick-knacks set up shop on the compound. Col. Potter asks the man to leave (giving him an hour to have a "going out of business" sale), because he's blocking traffic.
He also asks Radar to move a "spirit post" that some of the locals set up, to ward away evil spirits. Potter, not believing in any of that stuff, asks Radar to move it out of the way. Radar tries to talk him out of it at first, but Potter insists.
No sooner does he move it, then a young Korean man riding a bike loses control and crashes into the peddler's cart. Then more unusual phenomena take place: a gauge breaks in the middle of an operation, an O.R. bulb bursts, the P.A. conks out, Col. Potter stabs himself with his scalpel, and Hawkeye accidentally breaks Frank's mirror, cracking the glass in two.
Hoping to change their luck, Radar puts up a horseshoe on Col. Potter's office wall. Potter still scoffs at the idea, but likes the horseshoe as a simple ornament.
Later, a jeep carrying some of the 4077th's patients home crashes, and they are all brought back to camp. One of the other wounded is a very old Korean man, who doesn't want to be operated on at the camp because of supposed evil spirits haunting the place. He's so scared he won't let Hawkeye touch him, even though it means he'll probably die because of his injuries.
His daughter, who followed her father to the 4077th, says there is a village priestess who can perform an exorcism, which would put the old man at ease. After a debate about it in Col. Potter's office (with Frank against it, of course), they bring the priestess to the camp, where she performs an intricate, colorful, and (to the members of the 4077th) baffling ceremony.
The old man, now relieved, allows Hawkeye to perform the operation. All of a sudden, the P.A. starts working again, and the gauge that was broken earlier is now fixed. Hmm...
Later, as a way to say thank you, the old man's daughter gives Hawkeye a metal wind-chime: "Not for scaring away evil spirits--for decoration."
Col. Potter, just to be safe, has Radar put the spirit post back where it was. Radar, as always, is ahead of him, having already done so.
Fun Facts: The scene in Col. Potter's office debating whether to let the exorcism go forth is interesting, and I love Father Mulcahy's open-minded approach to spirituality--he's eager to see the performance, and even quotes the Bible in support of the idea, much to the chagrin of Frank.
Favorite Line: Klinger assures Col. Potter and Father Mulcahy that there are evil spirits, curses, and the like.
He tells a story: "I come from a long line of short-nosed people. One day, my Grandfather's camel spit in the eye of the village witch. Ever since then, we've been growing them like this", pointing to his own sizeable nose.
.
Season 5, Episode 106: Hawkeye Get Your Gun
Original Air Date: 11/30/76
Written by: Gene Reynolds & Jay Folb
Directed by: William Jurgensen
During a long, grueling session in O.R., Frank keeps making less-than-subtle comments about Col. Potter's age, and how he might not be as capable as his three younger surgeons. Potter is, of course, insulted.
Later on, the 4077th gets a message from a Korean hospital, asking for help--two doctors, and all the medical supplies a jeep can carry. While trying to decide who will go, Frank puts his foot in his mouth again, suggesting that Potter is too old to go on this mission.
Potter uses a deck of cards to decide who's going to go--and it ends up being Hawkeye and...Col. Potter.
As they climb into the jeep, Potter notices Hawkeye does not have his standard issue sidearm. Hawkeye argues he doesn't want to bring it, but Potter insists.
Soon, they arrive at the Korean hospital, but it's not quite a hospital--its more of a dilapidated hut. The commander, Major Choi (Mako), greets them, and immediately puts them to work.
Hawkeye is dismayed (and more than a little snide) at the lack of sterile conditions, but Major Choi reminds him they are making do with what they have.
Its a marathon session, with the added feature of shelling going on outside. Eventually, Hawkeye and Col. Potter try to catch some sleep in a side room, resting on a wooden crate. Hawkeye boasts he can put Potter to sleep, and tries to pseudo-hypnotize him into doing so. It works, but in reverse--its Hawkeye who passes out, leaving Potter to go back to work.
Surgery goes on all night, eventually ending in the morning. Major Choi commends them on their work, and they head home.
On the way back, Hawkeye and Potter drink liberally from a canteen of booze Klinger packed in their jeep. They both get hammered and silly, but things get serious when bombs start to fall on the road they're driving on, getting so close they stop the jeep and hide in a nearby ditch.
A shell hits their jeep, blowing it up ("The case will be in court for years!", Hawkeye comments). Then bullets start to fly, and Potter, refusing to be "dragged off to some Chinese prison camp", empties his gun firing back.
He insists Hawkeye do the same, but he adamantly refuses. Potter flat out orders him to, yet Hawkeye still refuses. He lets Potter know it is simply not in him to shoot anyone, for any reason.
Finally Potter talks Hawkeye into it, telling him to think of the gun as "The biggest noise-maker in all of Korea." Hawkeye relents, but only partially--he shoots straight into the air, warning everyone within earshot to take cover. Now that he's used up all his bullets, he reasons, can he go home now?
Potter is amazed at the extent of Hawkeye's refusal to play along--simultaneously angry and impressed. But since he's also drunk, he finds it very funny. They both end up giggling in the ditch, just as the bullets stop flying.
They wander back, running across a platoon of U.S. soldiers. Told that the North Koreans have moved out, Hawkeye and Col. Potter are safe to walk home, staggering drunkenly as they do it.
That night, Frank visits Col. Potter to say goodnight, amazed that the old man is still standing, let alone awake. Potter says he's about to do fifty push-ups, would Frank like to join him?
Frank begs off, leaving Potter to crawl into his bed, finally going to sleep after a very long day.
Fun Facts: This is actor Mako's second appearance on the series, after first appearing in Season 3's "Rainbow Bridge."
Hawkeye's utter hatred of guns ("Look, Colonel--I'll treat their wounds, heal their wounds, bind their wounds, but I will not inflict their wounds!") had a huge effect on me as a kid.
Combined with another hero of mine, Batman, who had a similar view of them, I grew up with a visceral dislike of guns and the damage they cause. (I later spent some time skeet-shooting and target-shooting, with a variety of guns, coming away with an even bigger feeling of disgust. But I felt better--or more informed, at least--for getting some actual, real world experience to back those initial feelings up)
Favorite Line: Col. Potter defends his ability to go on the mission to Frank, by saying that "I may not be a colt, but I'm not an old grey mare, either!"
Hawkeye, backing him up: "She's right."
Season 5, Episode 102: The Abduction of Margaret Houlihan
Original Air Date: 10/26/76
Written by: Allan Katz & Don Reo, and Gene Reynolds
Directed by: Gene Reynolds
In the middle of night, Hot Lips and Klinger (who is on guard duty) are met by a young Korean girl, who is in distress and asks for help.
Hot Lips, understanding a certain amount of Korean, explains that the young girl says her mother is giving birth, and needs her delivering. She grabs her medical bag and takes off with the girl.
The next morning, Hot Lips is nowhere to be seen. Radar looks everywhere, but can't find her. Frank decides to go find her himself, loading his gun with macho pride.
Unfortunately, as Hawkeye says, "Frank's as good a marksman as he is a doctor", and he accidentally fires the gun, with the bullet nicking B.J. in the leg.
Col. Potter, not knowing what else to do, brings in Army Intelligence. Unfortunately, that means...Col. Flagg.
Flagg does some investigation, including mistaking Hawkeye for B.J., and insisting that Frank's reading material--Reader's Digest--is, in fact, a Commie rag, Red's Digest.
Flagg turns up nothing on Hot Lips, and in Col. Potter's office he has Radar order some artillery strikes! Potter is aghast, but Flagg is not deterred.
But suddenly, Hot Lips wanders in--wondering why everyone is so shocked to see her. She tells them where she was (having successfully delivered the baby) and Potter has Flagg call off all his elaborate plans.
Flagg, though, won't depart until everyone closes their eyes so he can leave mysteriously--like his codename, "The Wind." Everyone initially refuses, but when Flagg says he won't leave unless they do, they shut their eyes immediately.
They hear a grunt and a crash, and see that Flagg has jumped out the window! Hawkeye looks out the hole, and says, dismissively, "'The Wind' just broke its leg."
Fun Facts: A very, very funny episode, featuring one great laugh line after the other, and that's even before Col. Flagg arrives!
Previous episodes have shown Hot Lips learning the Korean language, a nice little character touch that pays off in this episode.
The scene where Frank accidentally shoots B.J. is hilarious. As they drag him to the hospital, he demands that Hawkeye and B.J. not tell Potter who it was that shot him. They promise Frank, just to shut him up.
When Potter asks what happened, Hawkeye doesn't pause for a moment before answering: "Frank shot B.J."
Favorite Line: Radar reveals he's searched for Hot Lips everywhere, except...the Nurses' Showers.
Potter insists he check there, too, but Radar refuses. He thinks for a moment and says, "Can't we find somebody else...like Captain Pierce?"
Potter retorts, "No, we'd never get him out of there."
There's another line just too good to not mention: when Potter is asking Burns what happened, Frank tries to blow past his incompetence and says: "Sir, I think the Chinese have captured Major Houlihan."
Potter replies, deadpan: "I see. So naturally, you shot Captain Hunnicutt."
Okay, one more. Col. Flagg enters Col. Potter's office, not knocking, dressed in some ridiculous costume. Potter, signing some papers, looks up, and without breaking stride, says: "Be with you in a minute, Flagg."
Flagg looks a little disappointed he's been so easily recognized, and then Potter rubs salt in the wound: "Nice suit. Your clown outfit in the cleaners?"
Season 4, Episode 94: The More I See You
Original Air Date: 2/10/76
Written by: Larry Gelbart & Gene Reynolds
Directed by: Gene Reynolds
It's a boring day at the 4077th. Hawkeye and B.J. are so bored they are sitting around, basically talking nonsense to one another.
But things start to look up, when they see a jeep arrive carrying two new nurses. Hawkeye and B.J. watch from the Swamp, and then Hawkeye is stunned--one of them is an old flame, Carlye Breslin. More than an old flame, actually--Hawkeye reveals to B.J. that he and Carlye were deeply in love, lived together for over a year, and then it "busted up", as Hawkeye says, trying to sound casual.
Later, they go to visit the nurses in their tent, bringing gifts as a way to say welcome. Carlye (Blythe Danner) is just as stunned to see Hawkeye, but they both pretend they've never met. But little things slip through--Carlye already knows where Hawkeye's nickname comes from, and even finishes a joke Hawkeye tells, as if she's heard it before.
They invite them to drinks after dinner, and later that night Carlye comes to visit Hawkeye, who is alone in the Swamp.
At first Hawkeye is guarded and defensive, but soon he drops the facade and they talk, openly, about the old days. Hawkeye is mad Carlye--now Carlye Walton--is married (to an ad man named Doug). Carlye is having none of it, reminding Hawkeye that he was always married to to medicine first, and that's what busted them up in the first place.
The conversation turns into an argument, and Hawkeye admits "There's been no one since you--faint copies at best."
They resolve to have to try and work together, despite their history. Carlye leaves, leaving Hawkeye to grimace and mutter, dismissively, "Doug."
Later, Hawkeye and Carlye work together in surgery, but Hawkeye is snappish and mean, unable to stay professional. Carlye suggests they talk again, after work.
They meet up in a small hut with a dirt floor away from the camp. They have some drinks, talk some more, and Hawkeye reveals how devastated he was when she left him. Eventually, though, they are embracing another. Hawkeye kisses Carlye, promising things will be better this time. Carlye is hesitant, but eventually responds.
A few days pass, and while filing some paperwork in Radar's office, Hawkeye and B.J. (who is waiting for a long distance call to Peg to go through) talk, with Hawkeye sort of apologizing for not being around much lately.
This becomes a discussion of Hawkeye having an affair with a married woman, and Hawkeye asks if B.J. has ever been unfaithful. B.J. says no, but he's gentle and unjudgmental with Hawkeye in explaining that he hasn't cheated on Peg because "God will send me to Hell without and electric fan or its not the Right Thing to do...I simply don't want to."
Radar finds Hawkeye and shows him that Carlye has put in for an immediate transfer. Hawkeye heads to Carlye's tent, demanding an explanation. She says she can't continue on this path, and will tell Potter the truth so she can be transferred immediately.
Hawkeye tries to get to her to stay, even feebly offering to propose to Caryle. Carlye isn't buying it, and points out to Hawkeye how shaky his commitment really is, and that his first love will always be--and should be--medicine.
Hawkeye accepts this, and they embrace one last time. Hawkeye makes a final, half-hearted joke, and leaves.
Later, Hawkeye and B.J. are back to being bored again. Eventually, though, the talk comes back to Carlye. Hawkeye says he doesn't mind that she's gone again, its just that "she never altogether leaves."
Fun Facts: As a kid, this was always one of my least favorite episodes, because it was all "mushy stuff." Now its one of my all-time favorite episodes, having had the chance to grow up (hollow laugh) and see this episode for the brilliant, mature character piece it is. Alda and Danner have an easy, informal chemistry, and it really feels like two people who were once in love. Their scenes together are brilliant.
Also, B.J.'s talk with Hawkeye about why he doesn't cheat on Peg is one of the most simple, most profound pieces of character motivation I have ever seen on a TV show. It registered to me as a kid, for reasons I couldn't understand at the time. In a TV landscape where most male characters are written as horndogs or overgrown man-children, B.J. expresses the thoughts and feelings of a smart, adult man.
Hot Lips and Frank do not appear in this episode.
In the final scene, there's a weird joke making fun of George Raft. Huh?
Favorite Line: Carly, having had her first meal at the 4077th, tells Hawkeye he was right about how bad the food is.
Hawkeye: "Yeah, I'll never understand how the cook got off at Nuremberg."
Season 4, Episode 87: The Price of Tomato Juice
Original Air Date: 12/16/75
Written by: Larry Gelbart & Gene Reynolds
Directed by: Gene Reynolds
Radar sits down to lunch with a glass of tomato juice, which Col. Potter takes notice of, having not seen it in years. Radar offers him his glass, which Potter gratefully accepts, savoring every drop.
After Potter leaves, Radar gets the idea of procuring tomato juice regularly. He asks Klinger how they can get more, but Klinger says there's no chance--the can of it arrived by mistake, so it would have to be ordered specifically by the Requisition Officer--Frank.
Radar enlists Hawkeye and B.J. in the cause, to see if they can help. They go to Frank, who will order the tomato juice in return for a favor--getting a pair of stockings, for...someone.
They agree, and go to Klinger for the stockings, who says he'll give them up only if he gets a two-day pass for some R&R. They agree, and get Radar to sneak a pass by Col. Potter. Potter notices, and refuses to sign, but Radar lays it on thick, saying Klinger is really stressed and needs some relaxation.
Potter goes along, but needs to check with Gen. Barker, who has asked all commanders to not issue any R&R passes to Seoul for the next few days. He calls Barker and asks if he can send Kllinger. Barker agrees, but asks if Potter wouldn't mind sending Hot Lips to Seoul, as well.
Potter asks Hot Lips, and she's thrilled at the idea of going to cocktail parties on the arm of a General, but she tries to pretend its a selfless act.
With Hot Lips packing to leave, the whole house of cards begins to collapse. Without Hot Lips around, Frank is depressed, and refuses to order the tomato juice.
Radar, in a panic, turns to Hawkeye and B.J. for help, so they try something desperate--sending Hot Lips some flowers and a card proposing marriage from Frank!
They then go the other way, sending a note "from Hot Lips" to Frank (who is getting drunk in the Officers Club) saying she wants to get together. While he's in a good mood, Radar gets him to sign the requisition for the tomato juice.
Frank and Hot Lips get together, and the whole thing falls apart. Meanwhile, a car for General Barker arrives, ready to pick up Major Houlihan. Hawkeye and B.J. offer up a dolled-up Klinger, looking like a 1940s movie starlet, ready for a night on the town.
The next morning, Radar delivers another can of tomato juice, complete with white towel over his arm and served on a tray. Potter refuses it.
Hawkeye, B.J., and Radar are stunned--doesn't he love tomato juice? Potter does, but he forgot he's allergic to it!
Fun Facts: This episode is reminiscent of the Season Two episode "For Want of a Boot", where one favor begets another, and then another, and then another...
Favorite Line: In the showers, Frank is talking, when Hawkeye interrupts him, staring at the top of Frank's head. He says "Wait a minute", grabs his towel, and smacks Frank in the head. Frank says, "Did you get it?"
Hawkeye: "Get what?"
Season 4, Episode 85: The Gun
Original Air Date: 12/2/75
Written by: Larry Gelbart & Gene Reynolds
Directed by: Burt Metcalfe
Wounded arrive at the 4077th, including a Col. Chaffey (Warren Stevens), who is carrying a rare, antique pistol as a side-arm. Radar takes it and locks it up in the gun bin--Standard Operating Procedure--but not before Frank takes a few moments to drool all over it, in a display of machismo.
Later, when Radar returns to the gun bin, he sees that the Colonel's gun is missing!
He tells Col. Potter, who starts an investigation to find it--otherwise, Radar could go to jail for years. Radar is paralyzed with fear: "I won't get out until I'm thirty--that's almost dead!"
Col. Potter fails to find the gun, and has to break the news to Col. Chaffey, who is enraged and wants to speak to the "Non-compoop" who lost his gun.
Meanwhile, Frank shows Hot Lips an antique gun that he "got from home." He asked it to be sent because he "missed his old pal."
Hawkeye and B.J. confront Frank, insinuating he took the gun, and now that its gotten Radar in trouble, he should give it back. Frank, not giving an inch, notices how everyone is entitled to be innocent until proven guilty, except for him. Hawkeye and B.J., annoyed that Frank is actually right for once, back off.
Radar gets drunk, sure is he is going to the stockade. In the middle of the night, he staggers over to visit Col. Chaffey, to protest his innocence. While there, they both hear a gun go off, causing everyone to run outside.
In the confusion, Frank makes his way to Hot Lips' tent, with a gun shot wound to his foot. He at first tells a tall tale about getting into a fight with someone he saw lurking in the Supply Shed, but Hot Lips forces him to tell the truth--that gun isn't his, it never was. While he was trying to return it, it accidentally went off.
Hot Lips is mad at Frank for stealing and lying, but Frank has learned his lesson: "Yep--when you steal something, don't ever try to return it."
The gun now returned, all of the charges against Radar are dropped. Col. Chaffey apologizes to Radar, and Col. Potter suggests the gun is more trouble than its worth, maybe he should think about donating it to a museum. Col. Chaffey will have none of that, insisting he'll keep it until the day he dies. He rides off.
The next day, Hawkeye and B.J. hint at the true source of Frank's wound. Just a guess, really--a "shot in the dark."
Fun Facts: Col. Potter tells a story about a time when he almost got crushed by a runaway portable latrine. Another installment of The Young Col. Potter Adventures!
Favorite Line: When Radar, drunk, points his teddy bear at Col. Chaffey, we hear a gunshot from outside.
Radar, shocked, stares at his teddy bear and exclaims, "My bear went off!"
Season 4, Episode 75: It Happened One Night
Original Air Date: 9/26/75
Written by: Larry Gelbart & Simon Munter and Gene Reynolds
Directed by: Gene Reynolds
It's cold, cold, cold outside, as we see a change in shifts at the hospital: B.J. is just finishing, with Hawkeye just coming on around midnight.
Unfortunately, the relative quiet is shattered when bombs start falling nearby, causing some of the patients to flip out, one of them almost pulling out his stitches in the progress.
Hot Lips gives Frank a sexy note, but she is shocked to see he tears it up after he reads it. He reveals he has left no written trace of their relationship, and Frank seems worried when Hot Lips reveals she's kept everything he has written her. "Everything?" Frank asks nervously.
The shelling eventually gets so bad Radar wakes Col. Potter up so he can order the nearby artillery unit to move further down the road and give the 4077th some peace and quiet.
Meanwhile, a soldier on guard duty--a kid barely eighteen--accidentally fires his gun, nipping Klinger in the arm, which he of course tries to turn into a major injury--"Now my arm's half-blown off!"
There's a period of quiet, but then the bombs start falling again, and Col. Potter goes further up the chain of command to get the artillery stopped, but is rebuffed.
One patient of B.J.'s starts to go south, so he has to go back in an operate on him again, while Hawkeye and Hot Lips try and contain another patient who is nearly hysterical when he hears the bombs fall.
Finally, near dawn, the bombs stop. B.J. saves his patient, and the other patient in Post Op is sedated so he can rest.
Soon after, Hot Lips goes back to her tent, only to find an unconscious Frank, who tore her tent apart searching for all his incriminating love notes.
Fun Facts: I could never keep track of how the seasons fell on M*A*S*H. In the previous episode, Radar is sitting outside shirtless getting a tan and everyone is in shirts and shorts. In this, the very next episode, its clearly early Winter. Huh?
Favorite Line: Frank chastises Hawkeye for being a few minutes late to Post Op, but he's warmly accommodating to Hot Lips when she's late, as well. Hawkeye is indignant: "I had to bring a note from home."
