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Season 11, Episode 243: The Moon Is Not Blue
Original Air Date: 12/13/82
Written by: Larry Balmagia
Directed by: Charles S. Dubin
The 4077th is undergoing a heat wave, and that makes the camp movie--Sahara--all the more unendurable, especially since its been shown every night for the past month.
Hawkeye and B.J. get so disgusted they confront the guy who delivers the movies--a nervous Corporal named Bannister (Sandy Helberg), but he says he has no pull over what movie is sent. That's the job of Major Frankenheimer, who Hawkeye and B.J. plan to visit personally.
To make matters worse, a General named Rothaker (Larry Ward), in Post Op recovering from a minor wound, bans all alcohol on in camp after he smelled beer on the breath of a corpsman. Potter tries to protest, but Rothaker is adamant.
Hawkeye and B.J. read an article in a newspaper about a supposedly explicit movie named The Moon is Blue, and they decide seeing the movie--banned in Boston--is just the thing they need to lift their spirits. Winchester tries to warn them not to get too excited ("In Boston they would've banned Pinocchio"), but they won't listen.
They go to visit Major Frankenheimer (Hamilton Camp), but he's oily and insincere, and he has no interest in helping them out. He laughs at the idea of getting them The Moon is Blue, but Hawkeye and B.J. get him to agree that if they can get their hands on a print, he'll ship it to them.
Before they leave, Hawkeye and B.J. do a favor for Bannister, who is a quivering mass around women. When he learns he has a blind date, he's too nervous to even contemplate it. Hawkeye and B.J. give Bannister a pill that increases confidence (actually just a sugar pill) so he'll be able to cal the girl and take her out.
Hawkeye and B.J., back at the 4077th, ask Klinger to pull some strings to see if he can get the movie. He owes them for giving him a cure for the excessive heat (the same sugar pills), and the next day he's managed to get a hold of The Moon is Blue!
Unfortunately, Major Frankenheimer is a lying skunk, and even though he has the movie in his hands, he refuses to send it to the 4077th, re-routing it to some generals. Instead, he's sending them State Fair!
Hawkeye and B.J. get an idea, and call Bannister. They ask him to switch the labels on the film cans for The Moon is Blue and State Fair, which Bannister readily agrees to.
That night, everyone is in the Mess Tent for the movie, with only Hawkeye and B.J. realizing what they'll really be seeing. Except, unbeknownst to them, Col. Potter made arrangements with Gen. Rothaker to pull some strings and get The Moon is Blue. Everyone is disappointed--and confused--when State Fair starts up instead.
Weeks later, the 4077th finally gets a hold of The Moon is Blue, but its a huge disappointment--its almost all talk, and not anywhere near as smutty as Hawkeye and B.J. hoped. B.J. complains, "There was more dirt in this morning's breakfast!"
Fun Facts: This is actor Hamilton Camp's second appearance on the show, having previously played Cpl. "Boots" Miller in Season Six's "Major Topper."
A clip of the 1945 version of State Fair is shown, which co-starred Harry Morgan. The episode also mentions High Noon, which also co-starred...Harry Morgan!
Favorite Line: Hawkeye and B.J. are disgusted how relatively clean The Moon is Blue is, despite all the hype.
Father Mulcahy: "One of the actors did say 'virgin.'"
Hawkeye, disgusted: "That's cause everyone was!"
Season 7, Episode 164: C*A*V*E
Original Air Date: 2/5/79
Written by: Larry Balmagia and Ronny Graham
Directed by: William Jurgensen
The 4077th is caught in a crossfire between the Army and a Chinese battalion, and it gets so bad that Col. Potter calls I-Corps to try and get them to stop firing.
I-Corps thinks the 4077th is in another location, but Potter tries to tell them that they were there briefly, but are now back to their original location. They are "Mobile", after all.
I-Corps asks for the proper code word to verify Potter is who he says he is, but they have an out-of-date book and I-Corps rejects them, hanging up. Potter tries to call General Embry, but the bombs have cut the phone lines so the 4077th is stranded!
Potter calls a meeting and decides that for the duration the whole unit will move to a nearby cave, protecting them from the shelling. Everyone goes along with the plan, except for Hawkeye, who has several objections. But he's overruled, and they all pack up and head for the cave.
Once they get there, Hawkeye refuses to go inside, and it dawns on Potter what's going on: Hawkeye suffers from claustrophobia, something he's never told anyone before.
Hawkeye tries to carry on inside, but he just can't do it--his heart races, he sweats profusely, and he has to run outside to the cave's entrance just to catch his breath.
A bigger problem is one of Hawkeye's patients, who is getting worse and being stuck in a damp cave isn't helping. He needs to be operated on again, and there's only one place that can happen--the 4077th.
Hawkeye offers to drive the patient back and operate on him there. Margaret, revealing her terror over loud noises to help comfort Hawkeye, volunteers to accompany Hawkeye back to the 4077th.
In the OR, its Hawkeye's turn to comfort Margaret to keep her mind off all the loud explosions, and he tries to pass the time playing a game of 20 Questions, kidding along the way.
Just as they're finishing up the surgery, the bombs stop falling and its quiet again. Hawkeye finally guesses Margaret's been thinking of Joan of Arc. Amazed, she asks, "How did you know?"
Hawkeye says: "That's easy--who else would you be thinking of the past five minutes?"
The next morning, everyone else returns, finding Hawkeye and Margaret passed out in Post Op. They try to get up to help, only to pass out again.
Fun Facts: A nice change of pace, having an episode that spends so much time away from the usual 4077th sets.
Radar does not appear in this episode.
The scenes of the 4077th heading for the cave are shot day-for-night, and its fairly obvious that its not night time!
Favorite Line: Potter request is rejected by I-Corps, since they don't believe he is who he says he is. Potter states, in disbelief: "He thinks I'm Chinese."
Hawkeye: "I don't see it, myself."
Season 7, Episode 163: Hot Lips is Back In Town
Original Air Date: 1/29/79
Written by: Larry Balmagia, Bernard Dilbert, and Gary Markowitz
Directed by: Charles Dubin
The medical staff is having a meeting in the Mess Tent, when its interrupted by a mail call. Everyone gets something, Margaret's being the biggest of all: her divorce is now official.
She seems stunned, and insists she's happy. But when wounded arrive, Hawkeye has to snap her out of her daze. During OR, she's a little short-tempered and all business. Hawkeye and B.J. offer to take her out for drinks in the O Club, which she accepts, and they all get pie-eyed.
In the middle of the night, a bubbly, cheery Margaret visits Col. Potter in his tent, rededicating herself to a career in the Army. She's got all kinds of ideas how to improve things at the 4077th, which Potter, desperate to go back to sleep, readily agrees to.
The next morning, Margaret announces that she has a new plan for the nurses to take over in Triage, freeing the doctors to get to work immediately. Also, she's invited an old friend, Gen. Lyle Weiskopf, to come to the 4077th and inspect the unit's new procedures. Potter flatly refuses to go along, but its too late: he's already on his way. Hawkeye mutters, "It's going to be a real fun weekend."
The next day, Gen. Weiskopf (Walter Brooke) arrives, just in time for wounded to arrive. The nurses perform their new tasks flawlessly.
Later, Weiskopf and Margaret meet for drinks back in her tent. He seems more interested in going back to the "good old days"--namely, when he and Margaret were an item, and Margaret was "Hot Lips."
Margaret is confused and angry, wanting to talk about her plans to improve medical procedures--not just at the 4077th, but maybe in the entire Theater of Operations. Weiskopf goes along, but he makes it clear that while he'd promote Margaret to Colonel, he expects her to go back to being his mistress, with her grandiose plans being much less important.
Margaret, realizing Weiskopf only wants one thing, demands he leave. He protests, saying she's making a big mistake, but Margaret insists. Alone in her tent, she raises a glass, and toasts herself for standing her ground: "Here's to me."
Fun Facts: Gen. Weiskopf is really a sleazebag here. He's willing to promote Margaret to Colonel, just as long as she's his mistress. Yeesh.
Hawkeye and B.J. interrupt Winchester's triage demonstration to the nurses with a comedy bit right out of the show's early years: they storm in, dressed in full costume, as "Gen. Lyle Dumbkopf" and his faithful aide.
Favorite Line: Radar comes to the nurses tent to express his interest in a new nurse, Lt. Nugent (Peggy Lee Brennan). Mustering up his courage, he tells the other nurse in the tent, Lt. Baker (Jan Jorden) that he's going to stay there and say his piece, despite what anyone says.
Baker finds all this amusing, sarcastically calling Radar "Corporal Hellcat." She turns to Lt. Nugent, and says, "I'll be outside if you need me."
Turning to Radar, she says, "That goes for you, too."
Season 7, Episode 159: B.J. Papa San
Original Air Date: 1/1/79
Written by: Larry Balmagia
Directed by: James Sheldon
B.J. gets another letter from home that Hawkeye calls "the weekly gut wrencher." When Radar comes in with a young Korean girl whose father is very sick, B.J., needing something to take his mind off his troubles, volunteers to go with the girl and visit the father.
They drive to the young girl's hut, and its clear the elderly father has pneumonia. He distributes medicine, and suggests that the father be moved to the 4077th. But the family doesn't want to split up, explaining that they lost their eldest son, who was taken by the South Korean Army and hasn't been seen since. They ask B.J. to help find him--an impossible task--but they're so desperate he agrees to see what he can do.
He tries getting some supplies from Sgt. Zale, who coldly refuses. B.J. offers to pay Zale, who still refuses, more out of greed than principle. He then resorts to blackmail, which makes Zale fold.
Later that day, Hawkeye sees B.J. carrying the jeep-full of supplies, and warns him that, despite his best efforts, he won't be able to solve this family's problems. B.J. says he knows that, but his glowing talk about the young kids and how amazing they are suggests otherwise.
B.J. ends up staying with the family all night, fixing their roof. When he tries to leave and go back to the camp, the tearfully beg him to stay. Not wanting to hurt them, he agrees.
Meanwhile, at the 4077th, a klutzy, ornery visiting general named Prescott (Dick O'Neill) can't seem to leave. He arrives with a sprained ankle, but falls off his crutches as soon as Hawkeye fixes him up. Now he has broken wrist, which doesn't stop Winchester from seeing if he can finagle himself as Prescott's personal doctor. It doesn't work--neither does Klinger's obvious attempt at a Section 8.
B.J. asks Radar to see if he can find the eldest son--named Cho Duk Sing--but all the Army red tape keeps them from getting anywhere, even after Potter steps in.
Later, Prescott is allowed to leave again, but a pet bee of Radar's stings him in the neck. Prescott is, of course, allergic, and within seconds a giant welt develops. Hawkeye wheels Prescott right back into the hospital.
During a session in OR, shelling starts. B.J. is so worried about Kim and her family that his mind isn't on his patients, and he's snippy and humorless to the others. Later, in the changing room, he admits to Hawkeye that the family's enormous needs are greater than what B.J. can provide.
But things look up when Radar tells him that he got their son Cho Duk transferred to an American unit just down the road--Radar craftily got Gen. Prescott to sign a transfer order amid the flurry of paperwork he was forced to fill out during his numerous stays as a patient.
B.J. and Hakweye drive to Kim's family's hut with the good news, but they find it deserted. Scared of the shelling, they packed up and left, heading further south--with no clue of what happened to their son, and no way of B.J. finding them.
B.J. is devastated. He wanders off, muttering, "It isn't right." He then screams, to no one in particular, "Damn it, it isn't right!"
Wandering around for a few more moments, he climbs back in the jeep, and he and Hawkeye drive home.
Fun Facts: General Prescott is played by veteran character actor Dick O'Neill, who previously appeared in Season Five's "38 Across" and would appear again in an eleventh season episode. Each time he played a different character.
Favorite Line: General Prescott, meeting Col. Potter for the first time: "You look familiar, Colonel. Do I know you?"
Potter: "I don't think so..."
Prescott: "Were you in World War II?"
Potter: "Yes..."
Prescott: "I knew you looked familiar!"
Season 7, Episode 152: Major Ego
Original Air Date: 11/6/78
Written by: Larry Balmagia
Directed by: Alan Alda
During a session in OR, Winchester pulls off an extraordinary feat of surgical prowess, bringing a solider back to life when it seemed all but certain he was dead. Everyone else congratulates him, but Winchester acts unusually humble.
But we soon see its just an act: Winchester actually called Stars & Stripes, calling in a story about himself.
Stars & Stripes sends a reporter, Capt. Tom Greenleigh (Greg Mullavey), to interview Winchester about the story. Winchester takes his as his cue to regale the reporter with his life story, starting all the way back to his childhood.
Greenleigh tries to gently suggest that they only have room for the facts of the case, but Winchester either can't or won't get the hint, and continues to go on and on about himself.
In OR, Winchester is so busy trying to impress Greenleigh that he shows off, but Greenleigh seems to only have time for Margaret. Margaret, mad at her soon-to-be ex-husband Donald Penobscott for tying up their joint savings account, actually lets herself respond to Greenleigh's less-than-subtle advances, and, as a way to feel independent.
Winchester, so desperate to keep Greenleigh's attention, slips up during a difficult chest case. Hawkeye takes notice of the patient's slow recovery in Post Op, and tries to get Winchester's attention over it. Winchester ignores him, treating Hawkeye like a neophyte.
Hawkeye presses, and when Winchester suggests its because Hawkeye wants some of the spotlight, too, he has to restrain himself from knocking Winchester's block off.
In the O Club, Margaret, lonely and a little drunk, finally gives Greenleigh the time of day, offering him back to her tent. Greenleigh is, to say the least, thrilled.
Later that night, as Winchester's patient deteriorates, Hawkeye takes it upon himself to open him back up. During the procedure, Winchester storms in, enraged at Hawkeye for his effrontery. But when Winchester sees that Hawkeye was right--he did indeed miss a bleeder--he realizes just how that happened.
Just before Greenleigh leaves, he runs over the details of the story with Winchester, painting him as a heroic, life saving performer of miracles. Winchester, ashamed, tears up the article saying he refuses to let a lie like that be printed in the newspaper.
Hawkeye, seeing all this, congratulates Winchester for coming through when it counted.
Later, Winchester and Margaret compare notes on Greenleigh and his "style", although Winchester doesn't realize it, wondering "Are we talking about the same thing?" Margaret assures him, "Oh, I'm sure we're not."
Fun Facts: Radar does not appear in this episode.
After Margaret sleeps with Greenleigh, she's chipper and good natured, feeling that she's finally let go of her husband. When she runs into Potter, he tells her that whatever she did to bring about the change, "keep it up." Margaret cheerfully agrees, and walks off. Potter takes a few steps, pauses, turns around to look at Margaret quizzically, and then resumes his walk. A great little moment.
Favorite Line: Capt. Greenleigh bumps into Margaret after he reports to Col. Potter. As she storms out, he only has eyes for Margaret.
Potter tries to get Greenleigh's attention, but is ignored. He finally asks, "Do you want to put your eyes back in their sockets, Captain?"
Season 7, Episode 148: Our Finest Hour
Original Air Date: 10/9/78
Written by: Ken Levine & David Isaacs, Larry Balmagia & Ronny Graham and David Lawrence
Directed by: Burt Metcalfe
Reporter Clete Roberts returns to the 4077th, to check back in the medical unit with the best survival rate in all of Korea.
Amidst new interviews with the staff (including new arrival Major Winchester), we are treated to clips of previous episodes from the preceding six seasons, featuring departed characters Trapper John, Henry Blake, and Frank Burns.
Winchester offers that he tries to blot out the memory of what transpires at the 4077th as it happens, trying especially hard to forget some of the people he's met...knowing deep down that he never shall.
Father Mulcahy tries to say something nice about Winchester, since he was not at the 4077th when Clete Roberts came by the first time. The best, most polite answer he can muster is..."He's a very good doctor."
The final clip is from Season One's "Sometimes You Hear The Bullet", and Clete Roberts, talking directly to the camera, hopes that some day soon these people will be able to go home, and "No one will have to assemble for a duty like this ever again."
Fun Facts: M*A*S*H's first, and only, clip show, featuring the return of Clete Roberts from Season Four's brilliant "The Interview" and that show's black and white format.
Favorite Line: Radar is asked what he'll remember about his time in Korea the most, and he quietly but firmly responds: "One day...one very bad day." After that we are shown clips from the last Henry Blake episode, Season Three's "Abyssinia, Henry."
Cutting back to Radar, he swallows and says, "There are people here who suffer every day. And, uh...I don't really want to talk about this."
Season 6, Episode 141: Temporary Duty
Original Air Date: 2/13/78
Written by: Larry Balmagia
Directed by: Burt Metcalfe
Hawkeye and Nurse Bigelow are assigned to spend a week at the 8063rd, trading places with a surgeon and a nurse who will come to the 4077th.
Arriving in camp are Captain Roy Dupree (George Lindsey), and Nurse Lorraine Anderson (Marcia Rodd), who Winchester takes an immediate shine to. And although she seems flattered by the attention, she's more interested in seeing her old friend, Margaret.
While Lorraine and Margaret catch up, Dupree bunks down in the Swamp upon B.J.'s invitation. He's friendly and jovial, but his southern charm doesn't do much for Winchester. B.J. is less put-off, until Dupree breaks the still in attempt to "improve" its output.
But even though he's difficult to get along with personally, he shows he's a whiz in the operating room, which impresses Col. Potter.
During O.R., Winchester flirts with Lorraine, who flirts right back. Margaret is offended, and loudly scolds her friend for behaving unprofessionally. Afterwards, the two friends have words over what just happened, and even though Margaret holds her ground, Lorraine refuses to apologize.
Later, in the Mess Tent, Lorraine entertains everyone with stories from her and Margaret wild younger days. B.J., Winchester, and Father Mulcahy want to hear more, but Margaret is so humorless she walks out.
Meanwhile, Dupree is having a great time at the 4077th--he even enjoys the food! He tells B.J. some of his ideas for decorating the Swamp (shrunken heads!), and how he's angling--via Col. Potter--to be transferred to the 4077th permanently. Potter, who likes Dupree's down-home charm, promises to see what he can do.
This terrifies B.J. and Winchester, so when Dupree comes back to the Swamp late at night totally drunk, they tell him about Sophie--"the camp mascot"--knowing an old cowboy like him wouldn't be able to resist taking a ride on a horse.
Meanwhile, Margaret and Lorraine have a heart-to-heart talk, where Margaret admits she's been so jealous of her friend for so long she's almost come to hate her. Because while Lorraine is a top-flight nurse, she's still the same fun, carefree person she was when she was younger. Margaret feels trapped by her identity as "Major Houlihan" and admits she has no friends at the 4077th. Lorraine urges her to let her guard down a little, and to try and let people in--she is sure they'd get to like Margaret if she would let people meet the real person inside.
In the middle of the night, Col. Potter is furious to find the drunken Dupree riding Sophie. He orders him off, which Dupree listens to by falling off Sophie. Potter says he never wants to see Dupree again, ending his chance at a transfer.
The next morning, Dupree--hung over--and Lorraine head out, and Margaret asks B.J. and Winchester to join her in a cup of coffee in the Mess Tent. At first surprised, they agree, looking at each other in slight amazement as to the change.
Later that day, Hawkeye returns, saying he wasn't a hit at the 8063rd, the people there complaining he was dull. At first, B.J. and Winchester pull his leg suggesting they're sorry Dupree is gone and he's back, but then the facade ends when Winchester, in a rare moment, gives Hawkeye a joyful hug, happy he's back.
Fun Facts: Winchester posts a sign pointing to Boston on the camp signpost, an indication he's beginning to accept being stuck at the 4077th.
There's a line of Margaret's where we get a glimpse of how she ended up at the 4077th: "One night I was at party drinking and dancing, the next morning I was...in a war, in charge of ten nurses and the party was over." That may not be completely literal, but since we never saw the first days of the 4077th its an interesting window into how these people we've been following for so long ended up where they did.
Col. Potter mentions the C.O. of the 8063rd--a guy named Wheatley. To my knowledge, I think every time some staff member of the 8063rd is mentioned or showed, its never the same actor or even character. There must be a lot of turnover at the 8063rd!
This episode counts as a mild experiment, since Hawkeye is only in it for the first and last minute or so of the show. And, as much as Alan Alda's Hawkeye was the heart of the show, this episode proves the series could still be just as funny and involving without him, at least for an episode.
Favorite Line: Dupree, upon meeting Winchester, guesses he went to Yale.
Winchester, enraged, yells, "Harvard!" Then, catching himself, quietly reiterates, "...Harvard."
Season 6, Episode 139: What's Up, Doc?
Original Air Date: 1/30/78
Written by: Larry Balmagia
Directed by: George Tyne
During a session in O.R., everyone seems to notice how snippy Margaret seems to be. She gets frustrated at every joke Hawkeye utters, and puts a nurse on report for a petty mistake.
After O.R., Hawkeye asks her what's the problem, and after some cajoling she admits she's irritated because...she might be pregnant.
Hawkeye is ecstatic, but Margaret is not: her and Donald Penobscott are not exactly getting along, and if she is pregnant, her whole Army career is, as she puts it, "kaput." But she's not positive she's pregnant, so Hawkeye helps her go about getting a test.
Meanwhile, a patient of B.J.'s, Lt. Martinson (Charles Frank) is furious over the idea of being sent back into battle. Because of his education, he was made an automatic Lieutenant, put in charge of other men. When some of them were killed due to his lack of experience, he flat out refuses to go back into combat. B.J. tries to console him, but Martinson will accept nothing less than being relieved of his command.
Hawkeye and Margaret turn to Col. Potter and tell him the news, and he is equally happy. They decide a pregnancy test is the next step, so they turn to the owner of the nearest rabbit they can find...Radar.
But when Radar is told that his beloved rabbit Fluffy has to die during the procedure, he is horrified, refuses, and storms out.
Hawkeye catches up with Radar, who it seems has let Fluffy free from her cage. Radar asks can't Hawkeye just remove the rabbit's ovaries (the part of the rabbit they test)? Hawkeye says its possible, but since Fluffy is gone, what's the point?
At that point, Radar produces Fluffy out of his jacket, tentatively handing her over to Hawkeye, who promises to care for her as best he can.
While Hawkeye and Margaret perform the surgery, Lt. Martinson gets angrier and angrier at B.J. Winchester tries to relate to him, Ivy Leaguer to Ivy Leaguer, but that doesn't work, either. Martinson then pulls a gun and takes Winchester hostage, demanding a chopper home.
This stand-off crosses over into the O.R., where Hawkeye and Margaret have finished the operation on Fluffy and are about to perform the pregnancy test. But Martinson demands they all leave. Klinger, upon hearing Martinson wants a flight back to Ohio, volunteers to replace Winchester as a hostage.
Instead of being scared, Klinger is downright gung-ho about their prospects, but Martinson, weak from his wound and a lack of sleep, can barely stand. In fact, he passes out just as the chopper arrives, dashing Klinger's hopes of freedom.
Later, Hawkeye and Margaret do the pregnancy test, and its negative. Margaret is happy, but Hawkeye admits he's a little disappointed. Margaret then pauses, and admits, "So am I."
Fun Facts: The actor playing Lt. Martinson also appeared in the Season Five episode, "Dear Sigmund."
Jamie Farr is a riot in his scenes with Charles Frank. When he walks out of the hospital, arms raised because he thinks Martinson is holding a gun to his back, he quickly notices Martinson is not in fact behind him. He looks around at every one, and yells, "Wait a minute, I'll be right back!"
Favorite Line: B.J. asks what kind of education Martinson has, and he admits, sort of embarrassed, "Art History...I was an Art History major."
B.J., not helping the situation, sarcastically responds, "I think the Marines are the only ones with an Art History division."
