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Season 6, Episode 140: Mail Call Three
Original Air Date: 2/6/78
Written by: Everett Greenbaum & Jim Fritzell
Directed by: Charles Dubin
It's Mail Call again, and everyone is dying to see if they got anything--none more than Klinger, who hasn't heard from his wife Laverne in months, and he's clearly worried about the state of his marriage.
Hawkeye gets a letter from a woman, except that its addressed to another Benjamin Pierce. And we learn that this isn't the first time its happened--apparently this other Benjamin Pierce is quite the lothario, judging by all the passionate letters "he" receives.
B.J. gets a letter from Peg, where she mentions a neighbor made a pass at her, which she laughed off. Hawkeye tries to assure B.J. that Peg can handle it, but B.J. is angered all over again that he's away from his family.
Radar gets a letter from his mother, mentioning that she is dating again. Radar is confused and stunned at the news, even after Col. Potter tries to tell him that it'll be good for her, since, as he notes, "The poor woman's been alone a long time."
At that night's movie, Klinger's bad mood spills over, and when everyone thinks he's pulling another fast one, he tears off his dress in anger and tells everyone that Laverne stole all his allotment checks, and now has run off with another guy. He storms out of the tent, leaving everyone stunned. Except for Winchester, who is only interested in seeing the rest of the movie.
Potter comforts Klinger in his office, willing to place a call to Laverne back in Ohio, but Klinger can't bring himself to do it. He wants a discharge, something Potter just can't do.
Later that night, Klinger decides to go AWOL, and asks Father Mulcahy for a loan. Mulcahy gives him the money, but demands Klinger not go AWOL, threatening to tell Potter if he does. Klinger says he won't go anywhere, and takes Mulcahy's advice to sleep on it.
Radar turns to Hawkeye for advice about his mother and her new boyfriend, and Hawkeye shares a story from his past about how his father dated a woman after Hawkeye's mother passed away. Hawkeye's father wanted his son to like this woman, but he refused.
Hawkeye observes that "He didn't marry her--and he's alone to this day. And loneliness is everything its cracked up to be." Radar calms down a bit, agreeing to give his mother some space, offering up the idea that maybe his mother could be introduced to Hawkeye's father.
B.J., in the middle of the night, is so scared that his wife no longer needs him asks Radar to place a call to Peg. Radar tries to say no, but he finally relents.
At the same time, Father Mulcahy tells Potter what has happened with Klinger, seeing that Klinger has in fact left camp. They head to Radar's office to try and track Klinger down, only to find B.J. tying up the phone lines!
B.J. gets some reassuring words from Peg, and then Potter and Radar try and track down Klinger, asking any MPs who find Klinger not to arrest him, just bring him back to the 4077th.
The next morning, the "other" Captain Pierce arrives to pick up his mail, carrying with him mail meant for Hawkeye. The other Pierce isn't happy to see Hawkeye opened all his mail, and insists that he's not even interested in all these women, but they won't leave him alone.
Hawkeye and B.J. demand to know how he "does it"--i.e., get the women to go crazy for him? He says its because he's very funny, a fact not in evidence from his humorless, awkward demeanor. He says he makes the women laugh, leaving Hawkeye and B.J. confused and in disbelief.
Klinger returns to the 4077th, admitting that, just before he was about to stow away on a plane headed out of Korea, he realized he was doing the wrong thing, and came home. Potter was mad, but now he's just happy to have Klinger back.
Fun Facts: The other Benjamin Pierce is played by Oliver Clark, who played Hawkeye's college friend Toby in Season Five's "38 Across."
Some neighbor of B.J.'s hits on Peg while her husband if off serving his country in Korea? What a dick!
Favorite Line: Hawkeye's scene with Radar where he asks for advice about his mother dating is touching. Hawkeye scales back his constant joking and really talks to Radar, trying to comfort him.
Except when Radar, at the height of his hysteria, protests the very idea of his mother engaging in sex. Hawkeye responds with, "Radar, she's a woman, a warm-blood human being! Where do you think you came from, the Monkey Ward Catalog?"
Season 6, Episode 135: The Smell of Music
Original Air Date: 1/3/78
Written by: Jim Fritzell and Everett Greenbaum
Directed by: Stuart Millar
After a long, grueling session in O.R., tension is running high.
Back at the Swamp, Hawkeye and B.J. are driven nuts by Winchester's insistence on practicing on his French Horn, loudly. They ask him to stop, but he refuses. As revenge, they decide not to shower, hoping their stink will drive Winchester to capitulate.
But he refuses, and the whole thing escalates. Hakweye and B.J. start to offend everyone in camp (ruining what was a rare, tasty breakfast in the Mess Tent), and Margaret, Col. Potter, et al, begin to try and talk reason into the three of them.
But Col. Potter has other things to worry about--one of his patients, a young man named Saunders (Jordan Clarke), caught the blast of a defective rifle in the face, causing horrible scarring. Potter tries to comfort the young man in Post Op, but Saunders is convinced his life is worthless, now that he looks like a "freak." He's also sure his beautiful girlfriend back home will dump him once she gets a look at him.
Later, Saunder attempts suicide by taking a huge dose of sleeping pills, but they get to him in time. He wakes up unapologetic, promising he's going to kill himself, no matter what.
The battle between the three doctors goes overboard, leading to Hawkeye and B.J. playing a bunch of hand-crafted instruments in an attempt to drown out Winchester's horn-playing.
While the Post-Op staff is distracted by the commotion outside, Saunders takes that moment to sneak off. Potter finds him trying to overdose on ether. Potter has had enough, and tries a bit of reverse psychology. Instead of stopping him, he grabs the mask, turns the tank up to full blast, and shoves it onto Saunder's face.
After Saunders gets the sense Potter is serious, he pushes it off, stand up, and threatens to belt Potter if he continues. Potter observes that Saunders is now "fighting to live instead of fighting to die", which finally calms the young man down. Sobbing on Potter's shoulder, he carries him back into Post Op, saying "I'm too old for this kinda crap."
Margaret and the rest of the camp, having had enough of the loud and smelly war, take it upon themselves to end it--they drown Hawkeye and B.J. in soap and water, and then grab Winchester's horn and flatten it under a jeep.
Potter comes out, observes what has happened, and tells everyone they are "Confined to the Officer's Club, for the duration of the whiskey." Everyone cheers, and he then sweetens it, adding, "Pierce, Hunnicutt, and Winchester are buying."
A few days later, Winchester thinks he's getting his revenge--he's had a local Koren craftsman fix his horn! But the craftsman had to hobble together the new horn from different parts, creating a huge, awkward, Frankenstein-esque instrument...without a mouthpiece.
Fun Facts: This episode was one of the first examples of a formula M*A*S*H would employ heavily in later seasons--the "A" and "B" plotlines, one of them being very serious, the other being silly or light.
The scene where Col. Potter confronts Saunders, shoving the ether mask on Saunder's face, barking "You want Death? We got plenty of it around here! Suck it up, punk, come on!"--is a genuinely dark, tough-as-nails moment, showing off how steely Col. Potter was beneath that avuncular exterior. One of Harry Morgan's best moments on the show.
Hawkeye actually propositions a nurse, long after he's stopped showering, and people have told him repeatedly how stinky he is. As a kid (heck, as an adult, too) this astounded me--I mean, how cocky can Hawkeye be? He thinks he's so irresistible that a nurse will hit the sack with him even though he's rancid? Back when I was still in the dating pool, I wish I had 1% of Hawkeye's self-confidence!
Favorite Line: Col. Potter, when told that Hawkeye and B.J. purposely haven't showered, tries to guess a reason: "Why, like its National Pig Week?"
Season 6, Episode 125: The Winchester Tapes
Original Air Date: 10/18/77
Written by: Everett Greenbaum & Jim Fritzell
Directed by: Burt Metcalfe
The newly-arrived Major Winchester dictates a letter home to his parents, telling them about the 4077th and its deplorable conditions.
Hawkeye, presented with an unexpected opportunity to spend a weekend in Tokyo with a nurse, begs Winchester to take his Officer of the Day duty for him. At first Winchester refuses but after a bout of pathetic begging, he relents.
He agrees to sit for a painting by Col. Potter, and subtly tries to suggest Potter transfer him back to Tokyo. After that fails, he flat out demands to be transferred, leading Potter to bark at him that that's not going to happen.
Seeing that Radar carries a lot of weight in the unit, he tries to butter him up a bit so Radar will patch a call through to Col. Baldwin in Tokyo for him. Despite the gift of a case of Grape Nehi, Radar says he's not allowed on Col. Potter's orders. Winchester, furious, takes back the Grape Nehi.
He also tells his parents about Margaret (who he seems to have some sort of flirtation with, only for it to fall apart awkwardly), Father Mulcahy, and B.J., who was "touched" by Winchester's sudden loss of weight over the last few weeks.
What Winchester doesn't realize is this is an elaborate practical joke on B.J.'s part--he swapped out Winchester's pants with those of a fatter man's, making Winchester think he's lost weight. Then, after getting him to gorge on food for a month, they swap out the pants again for a skinnier man's, making Winchester think he's gained a ton of weight.
Winchester, concerned about his weight gain, jogs out of the Swamp to get some exercise, delighting Hawkeye and B.J. to no end.
After a long session in O.R. (where he receives grief for taking too long with each patient), Winchester wraps up his recording. As he does so, he pours himself a cup of tea. But when no hot water comes out of his kettle, he stops recording to open the lid.
Pulling out the kettle's contents--a rubber chicken--he concludes the letter with a passionate "Get me the hell out of here!"
Fun Facts: Hawkeye finds a dead rat in his tent, which he disgustedly picks up by the tail, tossing it out of the tent. To this point, the show has always mentioned how nasty conditions at the 4077th were, but rarely were they this explicit. Yuck!
That rubber chicken gags makes me laugh every time I see it.
Favorite Line: After convincing Winchester that he has gained lots of weight (thanks to substituting his pants for a skinnier man's), Hawkeye asks B.J., "So, what's next with him?"
B.J.: "Starting tomorrow...he gets taller."
Season 6, Episode 123: Last Laugh
Original Air Date: 10/4/77
Written by: Everett Greenbaum & Jim Fritzell
Directed by: Don Weis
Col. Potter gets a call from the Provost Marshall saying that there's a formal investigation centering around B.J., saying he's not really a doctor. Potter, of course thinking this is ridiculous, tries to talk them out of it, but they insist.
Potter finds B.J. in the Mess Tent, and tells him about the call. He says it came from a "Colonel Bardenaro", which tips B.J. off that this is all a practical joke--Bardenaro is the name of an old friend of his who loves pulling pranks like this.
A few hours later, Leo Bardenaro (James Cromwell) arrives at the 4077th, full of jokes, exploding cigars, and even joy buzzers. He's bearing good news--he got his orders to head home. B.J. is, of course, jealous.
After Bardenaro leaves, Hawkeye and B.J. are in Post Op, tending to patients, when some MPs arrive to arrest B.J.--they even have an arrest warrant, issued by a General Fox. B.J. says its all just a joke, but the MPs are not laughing.
Col. Potter talks to Fox, and says that B.J. threw a raucous party in Seoul, complete with music and girls, setting off the hotel's fire alarm and sending Fox running into the hall with his secretary...naked.
The MPs cart off B.J., followed by Hawkeye and Col. Potter, dressed in their Class A uniforms and carrying mounds of paperwork proving B.J. wasn't in Seoul when Fox says he was.
Back at the 4077th, Margaret is desperate to talk to her husband Donald, who wrote a letter suggesting he misses his wife...in the biblical sense. She's tried to get a pass from Col. Potter, who keeps saying no. Finally, when she can't even get a call through to him, she explodes, wrecking Radar's office in rage.
In General Fox's office, he ignores all the evidence Potter and Hawkeye brought with them, and is determined to go through the court martial. He thinks what he has is the coup de grace--B.J.'s hat, which he left behind in the hotel room.
B.J. puts on the hat, which droops down all the way to his nose. Hawkeye adds, "That's his hat, all right." Case dismissed!
The three of them make their way back to the 4077th, getting sauced during the trip. Potter, drunk and in a good mood, gives Margaret the green light to go to Seoul before she can get a word out, while Hawkeye and B.J. stagger into the Swamp.
Waiting for them is Leo, whose travel orders were swiped by B.J. when he first came by. He begs for them back, and B.J. strikes a deal where there won't be any more practical jokes from now on, in exchange for the papers.
Leo agrees, grabs his travel orders, and takes off in the jeep the doctors came home in. Some mail arrives, and in it is a letter for B.J.--a bill from the hotel Leo stayed at, claiming damages to the room of several hundred dollars. Hawkeye is mad that Leo got the last word in, but B.J. says that they'll settle up when Leo comes walking back--"the only thing gassed up in that jeep was us."
Fun Facts: Winchester does not appear in this episode at all--an odd absence, considering he was the new character on the show!
Favorite Line: Father Mulcahy offers B.J. a string of rosary beards before he's carted off by the MPs, which B.J. rejects politely saying, "Thank you, Father, but I'm not Catholic."
Father Mulcahy: "It can't hurt."
Hawkeye then unhelpfully offers: "If it doesn't work, you can use them to strangle the guards."
Season 6, Episode 121: Fade Out, Fade In
Original Air Date: 9/20/77
Written by: Jim Fritzell & Everett Greenbaum
Directed by: Hy Averback
Radar is worried that Frank isn't back from his R&R yet--which is very odd, since, for all of Frank's faults, he's always punctual. Col. Potter tells him not to worry about it...yet.
Wounded arrive, and since neither Frank or Margaret (who is still on her honeymoon) are back, the 4077th is very short-handed. One of the wounded is a doctor himself, Dr. Berman (Raymond Singer), whose chest wound is so severe that even Hawkeye isn't sure he'll be able to patch him up.
During surgery, Potter complains aloud about Burns being missing. B.J. offers the theory that maybe--just maybe--Burns went to Tokyo to interrupt Margaret's honeymoon?
Shortly after, Margaret comes back--early--from her honeymoon, in a very surly mood. She won't say why, and quickly heads off to the O.R.
Meanwhile, Col. Potter gets a call from M.Ps in Seoul, who say that a Major Frank Burns accosted a blonde WAC, but ran off before he could be apprehended. Potter thinks Frank is going nuts, and asks Radar to call a Col. Baldwin in Tokyo so he can send a fill-in surgeon while Frank is gone.
In Tokyo, we see Col. Baldwin (Robert Symonds) receive the call, as he is playing Cribbage with a doctor, Major Charles Emerson Winchester (David Ogden Steirs). Winchester is smug and arrogant, and he enjoys pointing out that he has beaten Baldwin in Cribbage to the tune of $672.17. Baldwin realizes he has the perfect candidate to send to the 4077th.
On the way to the camp, Winchester and his driver are shot at, and have to take cover. Their jeep is then hit, reducing it to a smoldering hunk of metal. The driver points the direction Winchester needs to travel, and heads back to his unit.
Back at the 4077th, Col. Potter gets another call from the Seoul MPs, relating another tale of Frank flipping out and accosting various women, acting as though they're Margaret. He's still on the loose, unfortunately.
Later, Winchester arrives at the camp riding an ox-cart, striking quite a contrast to his surroundings since he is wearing his dress uniform and carrying all manner of personal items. Radar is the first person to greet him, and his general feeling of superiority over Radar is obvious.
He is introduced to Col. Potter, Hawkeye, and B.J. as they are having a drink, and his stand-off-ishness immediately grates on everyone, insisting on calling everyone "Doctor" even after they introduced themselves by their nicknames. He then states he doesn't plan to "stick around long enough to get chummy."
When Dr. Berman goes into heart failure due to a ventricular aneurysm, everyone rushes out. Winchester wonders what the "panic" is, and then states that he's performed the necessary procedure successfully over a dozen times.
He performs the surgery, and it goes off without a hitch, except for the fact that Winchester spend a lot of time complimenting himself. Margaret is impressed, but Hawkeye and B.J. are less than thrilled.
Frank calls Col. Potter, and tells him some news. Hawkeye and B.J. follow, just as Potter is getting off the phone. He tells them that Frank accosted another woman and her companion, except this time it was a Brigadier General and his wife! Burns is now being held for psychiatric evaluation.
But that's not all the news--Frank is being transferred out of the 4077th.
The news hits Hawkeye and B.J. like a bomb--they toggle back and forth between delight and outrage that they're losing their favorite punching bag. As B.J. points out, "This reduces the enemy to just North Korea!"
The doctors and Radar have a toast, ended with abject glee, and they all throw the piles of paper on Potter's desk into the air with wild abandon.
Later, Hawkeye and B.J. have to pack up Frank's stuff. They keep all the good stuff, and Margaret comes in to take back a picture he had of her. They tell her to leave it there to keep Frank crazy, but when Margaret is complimentary towards him--and says there are some things he has over her new husband--Hawkeye and B.J. ask her what happened on her honeymoon.
After some cajoling, she tearfully tells them that, during the honeymoon, Penobscott seemed to shut down completely--he stopped talking, smiling..."everything."
They comfort Margaret by telling her that meeting all of his new wife's old friends and former beaus (like various generals) probably intimidated Penobscott, and it shook his confidence. They tell he'll get over it.
When she wonders why Frank didn't have this problem, Hawkeye and B.J. offer that's because "He had every other one." Margaret defends Frank, until she sees that, among his belongings, was an alarm clock Frank told her was stolen. Enraged, she says one last goodbye to Frank by pouring what's left of her martini in his suitcase.
Col. Potter is talking on the phone with Baldwin, and now that Frank is not coming back, the 4077th needs a permanent replacement. After rejecting several poor candidates, Potter says he'd be willing to keep Winchester, if he's available. Baldwin agrees to the deal.
Potter finds Winchester in the Officers Club, eager to get out of there. He breaks the news to Winchester, who is less than happy, to say the least. Potter offers Winchester some words of encouragement, but Winchester is despondent. Potter leaves the building, and Winchester ponders his fate.
Later, Dr. Berman is amazed that he is recovering from his wounds. As they say goodbye, Radar tells them Frank is on the phone, and says it'll be the last time he ever speaks to them.
Not being able to pass that up, B.J. talks first, and then Frank (who we never see or hear) asks to talk to Hawkeye. After a few moments, Hawkeye sounds incredulous, then annoyed, then condescending and impatient.
As soon as he gets off the phone, he grabs the whole apparatus, opens the door to the compound, and chucks the phone to the ground with all the force he can muster.
As Radar chases after it, B.J. asks Hawkeye what's up. Hawkeye delivers the bad news: "The Army, in its infinite wisdom, has cleared Frank of the charges. They've reassigned him to a Veteran's Hospital in Indiana...and promoted him to Lieutenant Colonel."
As Hawkeye walks off in disgust, B.J. attempts to grab the phone from Radar and get his licks in, but Radar won't let him have it. B.J., too, walks off in disgust.
Winchester officially moves in to the Swamp, and he rages to no one in particular about how his skills, culture, and intelligence are so much better than everyone else's, and how he can't believe he's stuck in this "Godforsaken...dump."
Wounded arrive, and Winchester gets his trial by fire. While being a superb surgeon, he is so slow and methodical--even when washing his hands--that he quickly falls behind everyone else. When told to "switch into high-gear", he gets testy and refuses. B.J. steps in and shows Winchester a short-cut that works better when dealing with this kind of volume.
After surgery, Winchester's ego seems deflated. He doesn't think he'll be able to hack it, but the other doctors try and cheer him up. Winchester meekly agrees, and adds "Well, if you people did it, I certainly can." Hawkeye, B.J., and Potter watch him walk out of the laundry room.
Potter asks them whether they'd rather have Frank back, and they offer he was more fun to be cruel to. That leads Potter to warn them off pulling any practical jokes on Winchester until he gets settled in. Hawkeye and B.J. respond that they wish he could have told them that "Before we put the snake in his bed."
That night, in the Swamp, Winchester is sitting alone, listening to Mozart on his record player. Hawkeye lays down, only to find the snake is now in his bed. He screams wildly as he throws it out of the Swamp, and responds, "Clever...very clever."
Winchester, betraying little emotion, admonishes him with, "Please...Mozart", and then goes back to listening.
Fun Facts: This is the third of the series' one-hour season premieres.
The debut, of course, of M*A*S*H's last new character, Major Charles Emerson Winchester. The series would be forever changed with the simultaneous departures of Larry Linville and Gene Reynolds, and, in a general sense, you can divide the series into two eras--Seasons One through Five, then Six through Eleven.
Radar is always the first member of the 4077th to meet a new staff member--he goes and finds B.J. in "Welcome To Korea", he's the first person Potter meets in "Change of Command", and now this.
There's a scene in the Officers Club with just Winchester and Igor. For some reason, actor Jeff Maxwell is completely over-dubbed by Johnny Haymer, who played Sgt. Zale! Even weirder, that's the second time they had Haymer perform this task, having done it before in Season Five's "Mulcahy's War."
Favorite Line: Hawkeye, B.J., Col. Potter, and Radar toast the departed Frank Burns:
Hawkeye: "What should it be?"
B.J.: "Something tender."
Col. Potter: "Something sentimental."
Hawkeye: "Right... [pauses, raises his drink]...goodbye, Ferret Face."
Season 5, Episode 120: Margaret's Marriage
Original Air Date: 3/15/77
Written by: Everett Greenbaum & Jim Fritzell
Directed by: Gene Reynolds
After Margaret's not-yet-scheduled marriage becomes the topic of discussion in the O.R., Hot Lips calls Donald Penobscott, wanting to set the date. Penobscott agrees, and says he is on his way to the 4077th. Hot Lips is thrilled, Frank is worried.
A day later, Penobscott (Beeson Carroll) arrives, and announces they want to get married as soon as possible. Frank walks in, and when he takes one look at the tall, strapping Penobscott, he runs in the other direction.
Penobscott gives chase, eventually pinning Frank to the compound. In the middle of kicking and screaming, Penobscott surprises everyone by thanking Frank for inspiring Margaret to finally ask about getting married, and he wants Frank to the best man.
The nurses throw Hot Lips a shower, and at the bachelor party everyone gets hammered, even Father Mulcahy and Radar. When Penobscott passes out on B.J.'s bunk, B.J. gets a devilish idea--he suggests he and Hawkeye put Penobscott in a full body cast, and tell him he broke his leg overnight. Hawkeye says "That's cruel--that's vicious!" B.J. agrees: "I know--it's perfect!"
The next morning, Penobscott waits at the altar (in the Mess Tent) in, yes, a full body cast. Hot Lips looks beautiful in a white wedding gown (given to her by Klinger). The ceremony starts off fine, but has to be rushed to its conclusion when wounded arrive.
Hot Lips does triage in her wedding gown, and then assists Col. Potter in O.R., who comments "Hell of a wedding for you, kid." Penobscott asks to watch his wife at work, so he is propped up by Father Mulcahy so he can see. But even though he's a self-described "combat veteran", he gets sick when he sees a patient spurt blood all over B.J. during an operation.
After surgery is over, everyone gathers on the chopper pad to see Margaret and Penobscott off. After the rotors start whirring, Hawkeye and B.J. admit the whole "breaking a leg" thing was a joke--but Hot Lips can't hear what they're saying. They decide to call her in Tokyo and tell her the truth, so as not to ruin their honeymoon.
Everyone wanders off, except for Frank, who watches Hot Lips' chopper fly off. All by himself, he says, to no one in particular, a quiet "Bye, Margaret."
Fun Facts: This is one of those episodes that I actually think works better in the syndicated edited version. In the syndicated version, the last scene--involving Hawkeye, B.J., Potter, and Frank getting a little too worked up thinking about Hot Lips' honeymoon--is cut. Instead, the episode ends with Frank (above) and his gentle "Bye, Margaret"--a perfect final scene for the character.
Odessa Cleveland, as Nurse Ginger Bayliss, makes the second of two appearances this season, after not appearing on the show at all since the third season. This is her last appearance on the show (though she would do a guest-spot on Trapper John, M.D.!).
This is the last episode of the Fifth Season, and of course the final episode featuring Larry Linville as Frank Burns. Its also the last episode of Gene Reynolds as the show's executive producer.
Favorite Line: Col. Potter asks Radar how the plans for the wedding ceremony are coming along, and Radar says Hawkeye and B.J. are planning a Bachelor Party for Penobscott. Also, Hawkeye will be on his best behavior for the wedding, "but he won't wear pants."
Col. Potter: "You tell him No Pants, No Champagne. You gotta know how to handle these guys."
Season 5, Episode 111: 38 Across
Original Air Date: 1/1/77
Written by: Jim Fritzell & Everett Greenbaum
Directed by: Burt Metcalfe
Without a lot of wounded, Hawkeye and B.J. are bored, bored, bored. Luckily, they find a New York Times crossword puzzle and are determined to complete it, eventually getting the whole operating staff in on it.
They are down to one last clue--a five-letter term for a Yiddish bedbug--and none of them can answer it. Hawkeye gets so frustrated that he has Radar place a call to an old friend, Tippy Brooks, who is a crossword whiz and is currently serving on a Navy ship in Pusan Harbor. Brooks is in surgery when they call, so they leave a message saying they need his help urgently.
Unfortunately, Brooks takes the message a little too literally, and radios that he and an Admiral are on their way to the 4077th. Hawkeye and B.J. are bewildered, wondering how they're going to explain all this.
Tippy Brooks (Oliver Clark) and Admiral Cox (Dick O'Neill) do in fact arrive, having had to avoid enemy fire and end up walking the rest of the way to the 4077th. Brooks asks Hawkeye what the emergency is, and after some hemming and hawing, Hawkeye tells him the reason they called.
Brooks is furious, and says they have to come up with some sort of story for the Admiral. They struggle to devise a suitable story (with Hawkeye still determined to find out the missing Yiddish word, much to Tippy's annoyance).
They take the Admiral on a tour of Post Op, pretending a series of routine cases are confounding medical diagnoses. The Admiral sees through all this, and is mad at the 4077th for wasting his time.
He's in the middle of a tirade when Father Mulcahy runs in and says there's been an accident involving some civilians, who have suffered horrible burns. Brooks and Cox help out, impressed that this group of goofballs are in fact a top-flight medical unit.
After seven hours of surgery, Hawkeye, B.J., Col. Potter, Father Mulcahy, Brooks, and Cox wind down in the Mess Tent. A North Korean radio announcer, Seoul City Sue, brands "Captain Hawkeye Pierce" a war criminal because of his operating on a North Korean prisoner's head, stating that he was performing experiments.
The next day, Brooks and Cox leave, and they tell him the real reason for all this. Cox is incredulous that they "came all this way for the word 'Vontz'?"
Fun Facts: This episode features two guest actors--Oliver Clark and Dick O'Neill--who would return to the show, playing different characters (O'Neill would in fact return twice more).
Favorite Line: Radar tells Potter there's trouble, and Potter guesses: "Hawkeye lock Burns in the Nurses' Latrine?"
Radar: "No, sir, that was last week."
Col. Potter: "Time flies."
...I love hearing about escapades of the 4077th that we as viewers have never seen.
Season 5, Episode 107: The Colonel's Horse
Original Air Date: 12/7/76
Written by: Jim Fritzell & Everett Greenbaum
Directed by: Burt Metcalfe
Col. Potter gets some R&R, so he's headed off for a second honeymoon with his wife in Tokyo.
Before he leaves, Hot Lips tells him that her appendix is acting up, and she wants permission to go to Tokyo to get it removed. Potter suggests having the procedure done at the 4077th, but she doesn't want Frank--who handles routine surgeries--to touch her. Hot Lips asks if Hawkeye can do the procedure, if necessary, and Potter agrees.
A few days later, Radar is shocked to find Col. Potter's horse, Sophie, laying down in her corral, sick. He asks Hawkeye and B.J. for help. They try to beg off, but Radar finally guilts them into it. At first, they don't really take this seriously, and they make so many jokes Radar gets mad at them for their indifference. Hawkeye and B.J. straighten up.
After examining Sophie and not being able to figure out what's wrong, they call B.J.'s father-in-law who is more familiar with veterinary medicine. He tells B.J. that Sophie has Colic, a twisting of the intestines, which could be fatal.
The prescription is to "clean her out" with lots and lots of warm water, an unappealing prospect. But Hawkeye and B.J. persevere--they hook a hose up to the camp water tank, and with the help of other people in the camp, they fill the tank with warm water, sending it down the hose to the other end, where Hawkeye is handling the rough part.
After a minute or two, Sophie whinnies loudly, kicking a wall of her corral--mission accomplished! Just in time for Col. Potter to arrive back in camp. He asks Radar hw Sophie's doing. Radar assures him, "Clean as a whistle, sir--inside and out!"
That night, Hot Lips staggers into the Swamp, doubled over in pain--her appendix about to burst. Hawkeye grabs B.J. and they take her to the O.R. Potter and Mulcahy are there, too, and then Frank bursts in, demanding to be the one who performs the surgery. Hot Lips tells him in no uncertain terms to get out.
The next morning, both Col. Potter and Hawkeye escort their respective patients for a stroll of the compound, both ladies feeling much better.
Fun Facts: "The Colonel's Horse" is one of the series most dull episode titles. To be fair, these were never meant to be broadcast or known outside the network and the studio, but considering the episode is about two sick females (Hot Lips and Sophie), a title reflecting that might have been a bit more appropriate.
Favorite Line: Hawkeye wakes B.J. up by throwing a pillow at him. B.J. annoyed, asks, "What? What?"
Hawkeye: "Appendix!"
B.J.: (trying to go back to sleep) "Never heard of him."
Season 5, Episode 100: Lt. Radar O'Reilly
Original Air Date: 10/12/76
Written by: Everett Greenbaum & Jim Fritzell
Directed by: Alan Rafkin
The gang ends a late night poker game when midnight strikes, with Radar winning the last pot. Hawkeye and B.J. are upset when they find out that a visiting Master Sergeant, named Woodruff (Sandy Kenyon) owes them both money and doesn't have the money to pay up.
Woodruff, who works in the office that issues promotions, offers up a promotion to either of the doctors instead of the money he owes them. Neither one of them wants to be a Major, but B.J. suggests "Lt. Radar O'Reilly."
A few days later, during mail call, Radar is stunned when he reads a letter from I-Corps to Col. Potter announcing his own promotion. Col. Potter beams with pride, and Klinger offers up Radar his first salute.
Now that he's an officer, it takes a lot of the 4077th to adjust. Frank is horrified, Hot Lips is frustrated, and Radar's friends Zale and Igor treat him like he's the enemy. Things go worse when Radar tries to teach Klinger to assume his Company Clerk duties, but finds Klinger disinterested.
It gets even worse--the nurse that has shown ardent romantic interest in him when he was a Corporal, now has no interest since he's not "forbidden fruit." Radar leaves horribly confused.
All the change ends up making Radar so miserable--he's a man without two worlds--that he comes to visit Hawkeye and B.J., feeling depressed. Hawkeye and B.J., realizing their joke has backfired on Radar, offer to try and get him busted back down to Corporal. Radar gleefully accept the demotion.
Now that he's a Corporal again, the nurse is back to flirting with him, and he's pals again with Klinger, Zale, and Igor, who wait for him outside the nurse's tent to bust his chops, like they used to do.
Fun Facts: Col. Potter tries to verify Radar's promotion, even though Hawkeye and B.J. try and talk him out of it. Potter tries to operate the radio, and Hawkeye says: "Only two people know how to operate that thing: Radar and...Sgt. Marconi." B.J. mutters, "We'll never get him here" in what sounds like an ab-lib.
Favorite Line: The argument between Radar and Klinger over how to handle the P.A. is broadcast to the camp. Klinger reads the announcement of the night's movie (One Ticket to Broadway), and after the cast list, he ad-libs: "...and Teddy, The Wonder Lizard."
Radar gets mad at Klinger, and yells: "There's no lizard in there!"
B.J. and Hawkeye hear all this, and B.J. helpfully adds: "There's no lizard in that picture."
Hawkeye: "That was 'Two Lizards to Broadway.'"
Season 5, Episode 97: Bug Out
Original Air Date: 9/21/76
Written by: Jim Fritzell & Everett Greenbaum
Directed by: Gene Reynolds
A rumor starts flying around that, due to an upcoming enemy attack, the 4077th is bugging out.
Col. Potter tries to stamp out all these rumors, but it doesn't seem to help. When a patient with spinal-cord damage arrives, Hawkeye is initially reluctant to operate because, once he's been worked on, the patient can't be moved for 24 hours. But Potter insists they aren't bugging out, so Hawkeye (with Hot Lips and B.J. assisting) goes ahead.
But as soon as they start, the 4077th gets a word from HQ that they are, in fact, bugging out!
This sends everyone into a frenzy. Col. Potter puts Frank in charge (he has no choice, since Burns is second in command) while Potter scouts locations for a new MASH.
Hawkeye says he's staying behind to look after the patient, and Hot Lips volunteers to stay as well. And, at the last moment, as everyone is riding out of camp, Radar stays behind, too.
Col. Potter, B.J., and Frank lead the caravan to the new location for the 4077th, and walk up to what looks like an abandoned hut. Except that--its not abandoned, its full of "business girls."
Frank wants to evict them by force, but Potter wants to try and bargain with them. No matter what he offers, they refuse to turn over the building. That is, until they see Klinger's array of clothes, which they moon over. Potter asks Klinger to give up The Klinger Collection, as an act of patriotism. Klinger reluctantly agrees.
Meanwhile, back at the 4077th, the spinal cord patient seems to be recovering well enough to be flown out by chopper. After the patient is sent off, a battalion of troops arrive. When asked by Hawkeye where the front is, the soldier replies: "You're standing on it."
The troops drive on, leaving Hawkeye, Hot Lips, and Radar in the eerily-quiet 4077th compound. They climb in a jeep to catch up with the rest of the unit, but the jeep won't start. When they hear a loud clamor of people coming up the road, they assume its the Chinese and try to hide--a little hard, since all that's left of the tents are the framework.
They start to panic as the noise gets louder, but are relieved to see that it's the rest of the 4077th, led by Col. Potter! He tells them that the U.S. retook the same piece of land, so they have been ordered to return to home.
Relieved, Hot Lips climbs aboard Sophie, her arms around Col. Potter as he manages the traffic. Everyone, for the moment, is happy.
Fun Facts: The second of three consecutive hour-long season premieres.
William Christopher was finally added to the official cast, and for the first and only time, a production credit--Executive Producer Gene Reynolds--was added to the credit sequence for this season.
The montage, with Col. Potter and Hot Lips on Sophie, is sweet. There had been occasional moments where we got to see how she looked upon him as a father figure--eventually pulling her away from the Frank and Hot Lips team that had been the standard for the previous seasons.
There's another moment, just before Hawkeye, Hot Lips, and Radar leave the 4077th. Hawkeye stops for a moment to ponder how much of their lives they've spent here, and Radar chimes in with "Yeah, think of all the guys we've operated on."
Hawkeye sarcastically replies, "Right, doctor", and you can see Radar lower his head, a little ashamed of the "we" in that sentence. I always thought that was a great moment, for the show to allow its main character to be, even for a moment, a jerk.
Favorite Line: When Potter catches Burns giving a private an order, which is the exact opposite of what Potter wanted, he rolls his eyes, and says to no one in particular: "Why didn't I shoot my foot and stay in Honolulu?"
Season 4, Episode 89: Der Tag
Original Air Date: 1/6/76
Written by: Everett Greenbaum & Jim Fritzell
Directed by: Gene Reynolds
With Hot Lips in Tokyo for a medical conference, Frank is miserable--even more than usual.
He's so miserable that Col. Potter asks Hawkeye and B.J. to do him--and the whole camp--a favor: be nice to Frank, buddy up to him.
Reluctantly, they agree, first by having him play in the regular poker game. Even though he doesn't know the rules, he wins a bunch of the hands, giggling maniacally after each time.
They eventually take him to the Officers Club, where Frank gets loaded, flirts with Nurse Kellye, and then passes out.
Hawkeye and B.J. drag Frank home, and in their drunkenness, write up a toe-tag and put it on Frank, declaring the body is "Emotionally exhausted and morally bankrupt."
In the middle of the night, Frank gets up to go the Latrine, still drunk. He wanders by an open ambulance headed back to the front, and falls into it. He's carted off without anyone noticing.
The next morning, a medic at a battalion aid station calls Col. Potter, telling him they have one of his doctors there. Potter instructs Hawkeye and B.J. to go get him, and while on their way there Potter gets another call from the medic, saying the aid station is under enemy attack!
Hawkeye and B.J. arrive as bombs are falling, and help out with wounded. They don't even bother to wake up Frank, still passed out. Eventually, the shelling subsides and they cart Frank home.
Just a few minutes later, Radar wakes up Frank, refreshed and ready to go. He also tries to stir Hawkeye and B.J., who are exhausted.
Frank assumes everyone is still friends, and is confused when Hawkeye and B.J.--sick of the sheer effort it takes to be friends with Frank Burns--tell him they're back to hating his guts.
Frank is happy, though, when he sees Hot Lips return.
Fun Facts: This episode opens with Radar asleep, with a comic book on his lap:
The only problem is that the title Radar is reading--The Avengers--didn't start until 1963, and this particular issue is from 1969. How'd Radar do that?
The poker game scene is a classic, with everyone having to deal with the reality of what its like to be friends with Frank.
Favorite Line: As Hawkeye and B.J. are carrying the drunken Frank back to the Swamp, Col. Potter happens by. Potter commends them for being nice to Frank, saying things "will be a lot better around here" from now on. Hawkeye responds, "Only if we bury him."
Potter, without missing a beat: "I'd buy that."
Season 4, Episode 88: Dear Ma
Original Air Date: 12/23/75
Written by: Jim Fritzell & Everett Greenbaum
Directed by: Alan Alda
Radar writes a letter home to his mother, telling her about the recent goings-on at the 4077th.
Radar has been helping Hawkeye in giving the camp a monthly foot inspection, which goes smoothly except for Hot Lips,who can't stand Hawkeye's joking around.
Meanwhile, B.J. buys an expensive watch on the cheap from a former patient, claiming he needed the money for an operation for his wife. Hawkeye has to break the news to B.J. he's been scammed, showing him that there are no works inside it. B.J. is infuriated--"And I operated on that guy's chest!" Hawkeye finds the whole thing funny, having heard of this scam before.
Another day, Radar came across a North Korean soldier who wandered into the Mess Tent to get some food. At first he doesn't realize the guy is North Korean, but it dawns on him just as the soldier runs out of the tent with a tray full of food. He bumps into Frank chasing him, spilling food on Frank's shirt. Frank is not amused.
Hawkeye, still doing the inspections, tells Frank its his turn, but Frank is hostile and refuses. Hawkeye lets it go for the moment.
That same night, Col. Potter gets shot in the butt by a sniper while he and Hot Lips were delivering supplies to some locals. Hawkeye and B.J. remove the shrapnel, with Potter having to pretend he's fine while on the phone with his wife--she called, having a premonition that something bad has happened to her husband.
Wounded arrive, and one of them is the solider that scammed B.J. Laying on the table, he gulps in fear when B.J. promises he'll have him "working as well as that watch you sold me."
At the end of the night, Hawkeye and B.J. lay in wait for Frank. They grab him, and pull his shoes off, to reveal...painted toe-nails?
Frank is ashamed, and B.J. asks if that isn't Hot Lips' color. Frank fesses up and asks it not be mentioned in the report. Hawkeye agrees, writing that Frank suffers from some discoloration "due to actions involving a hostile manicurist."
Radar ends his letter to his mother, telling her how much he misses her.
Fun Facts: Another episode in the "Dear..." format, this time it's Radar's turn.
Favorite Line: After Hawkeye shows B.J. he's been scammed, he says he'll return to inspect B.J. at 9 o'clock.
B.J., slightly disgusted but partly amused: "How will I know?"
Season 4, Episode 86: Mail Call Again
Original Air Date: 12/9/75
Written by: Jim Fritzell & Everett Greenbaum
Directed by: George Tyne
It's Mail Call at the 4077th, bringing it with all kinds of news.
Col. Potter gets a letter from his son, telling him that soon he will be a grandfather. Potter is so delighted that he goes along with Radar's idea of having a baby pool, where people guess when the baby will be born.
Hot Lips gets a new nightie from Frederick's of Hollywood, which she figures ought to drive Frank crazy. But Frank gets a letter from his wife--which Radar "accidentally" read--saying she wants a divorce! Someone who was in Korea came back home, and told Mrs. Burns about Frank and Hot Lips' relationship.
Col. Potter has Radar call back home, trying to get news about his grandchild, but Frank asks to interrupt so he can talk to his wife.
Col. Potter agrees, and Frank calls his wife, being as oily and insincere as possible. He professes his love to his wife (while insulting Hot Lips' looks, which she overhears), but sneaks in a question about making sure he hasn't been removed from his father-in-law's will. Unbelievably, it works--at least until Hot Lips, enraged, nearly takes Frank's head off for his nasty comments regarding her looks.
Later, Hawkeye, B.J., Col. Potter, Klinger, Father Mulcahy, and Radar watch some home movies his family sent him of life back in Iowa. We see Radar's mother (played by Gary Burghoff himself, in drag), plus his Uncle Ed, and some others.
At the end, Radar's mother mouths "I love you, Walter" to the camera, nearly causing everyone watching to break out in tears.
The moment is interrupted by a call from Potter's son, telling him he now has a granddaughter! Later, we see the doctors throw a party in The Swamp, celebrating.
Fun Facts: Col. Potter's family is strangely inconsistent throughout the years. Here he has a son, but in later episodes he seems only to have a daughter.
Hawkeye spends some of the episode reading stories from his hometown newspaper aloud, including a bit about "shaving mugs", a line he seems to flub. But he keeps going, trying variations on the correct pluralization--"shavings mugs, shavings mug," etc.
Having Burghoff in drag play his mother seems an insane, cartoony idea, but it somehow works, and is even very touching. (This is the third member of the 4077th whose home life we got to see via home movies--the first being Henry, the second being Frank)
Favorite Line: Klinger tries another scam to get a discharge, making up a story about two dead brothers, killed in an accident. Potter is dubious of their existence, and says, "Klinger, you gotta live before you die."
Klinger, refusing to give up the ghost, responds with "Oh, you said a mouthful, sir!"
Season 4, Episode 82: Dear Peggy
Original Air Date: 11/11/75
Written by: Jim Fritzell & Everett Greenbaum
Directed by: Burt Metcalfe
B.J. writes a letter home to wife Peg, and tells her about some of the events at the 4077th. Sadly, there's not much going on--without wounded to tend to, everyone's bored out of their minds!
He tells Peg about Frank, and how bad a doctor he is. Frank's patient starts to fade during the operation, and when he loses a pulse, Frank just gives up. B.J.--doubling as the anesthetist--jumps in and saves the patient.
Father Mulcahy is worried about the impending visit of Col. Hollister, Divisional Chaplain, who is coming to inspect the job Mulcahy is doing, and he confides in B.J., who tries to reassure him.
B.J. tells Peg about the time Hawkeye tried to break the Guinness World Record, by cramming fifteen people into a jeep. Hot Lips and Frank are against it, but when Hawkeye insists its for the glory of the 4077th, Hot Lips joins in. Frank complains to Col. Potter, who blows him off. Moments later, Col. Hollister (Ned Beatty) arrives, just in time to see Father Mulcahy spill out of the crammed jeep.
The next morning, everyone in camp shows up for Father Mulcahy's Sunday services, as a show of support. Afterwards, Hollister isn't impressed, saying Mulcahy is too meek--he insists Mulcahy must "lead the attack, Father, with a Bible in one hand, and a sword in the other!"
Hollister also gets involved in the case of the solider B.J. saved earlier, and tells Mulcahy he should write the boy's parents telling them their son will be okay. Mulcahy is unsure, thinking he should wait until the young man becomes more stable. Hollister won't listen, and demands Mulcahy write the letter.
Hollister leaves, after approving of Mulcahy's letter. Moments later, the young man starts to get worse, causing Mulcahy to have a crisis of conscience, thinking he's done the wrong thing, not standing up to Hollister when he should have.
Mulcahy paces outside as the doctors work on the young man, but they eventually come out and tell Mulcahy he's going to be fine.
The next day, B.J. ends his letter while playing chess with Hawkeye.
Fun Facts: Another episode in the "Dear..." format, this time it's B.J.'s turn.
When Mulcahy is waiting to hear how the solider is doing, he kneels onto the compound, about to pray when the doctors come out. Its a completely silent scene, subtly executed and nicely done.
Favorite Line: B.J. asks Hawkeye if he's going to go the cockroach race being held in another part of the camp, Hawkeye says: "Nah, people who go to those things only want to see a cockroach crash."
Season 4, Episode 80: The Kids
Original Air Date: 10/31/75
Written by: Jim Fritzell & Everett Greenbaum
Directed by: Alan Alda
After a long session in O.R., the 4077th gets news that massive shelling is threatening the makeshift hospital run by Nurse Meg Craddy. Potter offers the 4077th to her and her orphans for the time being.
Meg Craddy (Ann Doran) and the kids arrive, and everyone is gentle and kind to the kids, except for Frank, who considers them all "foreigners" and little more than thieves.
Some of the kids bunk in The Swamp, some in Col. Potter's tent (who puts them asleep by reading them an Army manual about how to field-strip a rifle), some with Hot Lips, some in the Officers Club (one thinks Klinger is a woman, and keeps calling him "Mama-san").
One of Craddy's charges, a pregnant teen girl, stopped along the way to visit some relatives. She later staggers onto the compound, wounded. As she collapses onto the ground, Radar calls for help.
Both girl and baby are in jeopardy, and B.J. takes the case, with Hawkeye and Potter taking on other patients as wounded start to arrive. Frank, for his part, is wandering the camp complaining about how all these "foreigners" do is steal. Radar tries to remind him they steal because they're dirt poor, but it barely registers through Frank's thick head.
B.J. gets the girl stable, and then delivers the baby safely--though it arrives with a tiny nick in its butt from the bullet.
Later that night, Col. Potter bestows on the baby a Purple Heart, "donated" by Hawkeye and B.J. Hot Lips wonders sarcastically where they got it from, but you can see she's okay with what they've done.
The next day, the shelling has stopped, and Nurse Craddy and the kids leave to head back home.
Fun Facts: This was Nurse Craddy's second appearance on the series (after Season Two's "The Trial of Henry Blake"). She is played by a different actress in this episode.
Col. Potter knows Meg Craddy already, before she arrives at the 4077th--another example of the many Untold Adventures of Sherman Potter.
Favorite Line: Hawkeye and B.J. are enraged at Frank for putting in for a Purple Heart. They tell him to give it back, and when he refuses, Hawkeye grabs Frank's blood-stained surgical gown and says: "Frank--you don't get medals for other people's blood."
The comment hangs there for a beat, in total silence, as Frank takes it in. Or, more precisely, doesn't.
Season 4, Episode 79: Dear Mildred
Original Air Date: 10/24/75
Written by: Everett Greenbaum & Jim Fritzell
Directed by: Alan Alda
Col. Potter writes a letter home to his beloved wife Mildred, telling her all about the 4077th.
Radar seems very unsure of himself around Potter, nervous about what he's supposed to do when he doesn't have any work to do.
Frank and Hot Lips come in, asking to take a picture of the Colonel, claiming its for a camp yearbook. Col. Potter find them "curious", to which Radar responds "Only with each other."
Radar is so nervous he comes to The Swamp, to vent to Hawkeye and B.J. B.J. tries to reassure him that Potter's okay, but Hawkeye points out that Henry Blake was like a father to Radar, and the difference is tough for Radar to handle.
A chopper arrives, delivering mail only. The pilot mentions there's a wounded horse up in the hills, and if the 4077th has a sharpshooter, he'd like to put the animal out of its misery.
Radar is, of course, horrified at this suggestion, and guilts Hawkeye and B.J. into coming with him to corral the horse into a truck back to the 4077th. After they manage this (Hawkeye and B.J. failing miserably, Radar managing to calm the horse down just by talking to it), they try and get the piece of shrapnel out of the horse's rump.
The horse is a difficult patient, nearly kicking Hawkeye and B.J. to death after they stick it with a tranquilizer. They tell Radar he's on is own, and he takes it upon himself to take care of the horse. Hawkeye and B.J. try and talk some sense into Radar, telling him he won't be able to hide a horse in camp for long, not from an old Cavalry man like Col. Potter. Radar won't listen--he's not giving up the horse.
Turns out that the photos Hot Lips and Frank took were to have a bust of the Colonel made, as a present for his anniversary. Potter likes the bust a lot, but it stunned into silence by Radar's present--the horse.
Potter is moved to tears at the gesture, and Radar is also happy, now that the horse isn't going anywhere. Frank is repulsed when Sophie craps right there in the office, but Potter, nearly slipping from it, is delighted.
The episode ends with Col. Potter, astride the horse, on his way to the chopper pad, leading his people to the incoming wounded.
Fun Facts: Another episode in the "Dear..." format, where you can have various story threads that don't necessarily fill up an entire show.
This episode--with Radar and the rest still a little uncomfortable around Col. Potter--seems like it was run out of order. It really should've come oen or two episodes after Potter's debut, "Change of Command."
This episode features William Christopher's real-life wife, Barbara Christopher, as Nurse O'Connor. They sing a duet from an upcoming talent show, and there's a brief moment where Christopher puts his arm around her in a very un-Father Mulcahy-like manner, only to pull it back a second later.
This episode features actor Richard Lee-Sung as Cho, a Korean who makes the bust of Col. Potter. He's a riot in the role, at point showing off an oblong hunk of wood he claims "used to be round." Frank says, matter of factly, "It looks like a two-by-four", to which Cho responds, reverently, "Thank you."
The addition of the horse--soon to be named Sophie (even though the horse is mentioned as being a male here)--was a wonderful plus for the series. Not only did Sophie become a plot point for a couple of episodes, but it gave the writers a chance to show a wonderfully gentle, kind side to the Col. Potter character.
Favorite Line: This episode has a number of killer lines (see above), but I guess my favorite is when Potter is writing to his wife, and he quotes her cousin Natalie back to her: "As your Cousin Natalie said, and she's been quoted by so many, 'War Is Hell.'"
Season 4, Episode 74: Change of Command
Original Air Date: 9/19/75
Written by: Jim Fritzell & Everett Greenbaum
Directed by: Gene Reynolds
The 4077th is still adjusting to being under the command of Frank Burns. With the extra space now in The Swamp, Hawkeye and B.J. set up a bar, which they christen The Henry Blake Memorial Bar.
Then Radar comes in with some startling news--the 4077th is getting a new Commanding Officer! The C.O. in question Col. Sherman Potter, Regular Army--which Hawkeye takes as a bad sign.
Radar is afraid to tell Frank the news, so Hawkeye and B.J. go with him for moral support. When Frank learns he's being replaced, he takes it surprisingly in stride--until he makes it to Hot Lips' tent, when he throws a tempter tantrum.
Later that day, Col. Potter (Harry Morgan) arrives, and he at first seems to be every bit the Regular Army man they fear--he's curt, blustery, and when Klinger presents himself, tells him in no uncertain terms that he get in a uniform, pronto.
He calls a meeting of his officers, which also doesn't go that well: first off, Frank doesn't show up at all, and Hawkeye's long list of infractions leads Potter to surmise that Capt. Pierce drinks. "Only to excess", Hawkeye answers.
Hot Lips reveals that Frank ran off to parts unknown once he learned he was losing command, which Hawkeye and B.J. find hysterical.
As Potter sets up, we see he's not quite as stiff as he at first seems, and has some nice warm moments with Radar. Potter is taken aback when Radar lives up to his nickname, hearing approaching choppers long before Potter does.
During surgery, Hawkeye's fears that Potter is a klutz in O.R. prove to be unfounded, as Potter displays superb surgical skills, and is even helpful to B.J. during a difficult case.
In the Scrub Room, the doctors are exhausted, and Potter reveals he could use a belt. Hawkeye and B.J. take this opportunity to invite Potter to the Swamp for a few drinks.
Later that night, we see the three of them, pie-eyed, singing songs late into the night. Hawkeye even manages to talk Potter into letting Klinger continue to wear dresses. They get to know each other, and there's an instant rapport.
The next morning, Frank reports for duty, offering his duties as second in command, and hoping Potter will continue the standard of discipline he established.
His hopes are dashed, though, when Klinger enters, in an outfit "from the Shirley Temple Collection", which Potter goes out of his way to compliment. Frank looks disappointed, and Hawkeye and B.J. smile, knowing things are going to be a lot different at the 4077th from now on.
Fun Facts: As good as all the characters on M*A*S*H were, I don't think there was one as brilliant an invention as Col. Potter.
Before Potter, you basically had three characters who were similar in their outlooks: Hawkeye, Trapper, and Henry. With the addition of Col. Potter, you had someone who was a Regular Army soldier, who could provide a better counterpoint to the more freewheeling characters of Hawkeye and B.J.
It also gave the series the chance to show that not all Army officers were clowns, and in fact some were highly skilled, courageous men of duty. To borrow a phrase from politics, I think the addition of Col. Potter broadened the show's tent, giving it the chance to tell stories from a more diverse point of view.
On top of all that, Harry Morgan's performance as the character--in this very first episode and for the next seven seasons--was flat out genius. Warm yet firm, courageous yet humble, this is the kind of authority figure I think we all wish we could've had at some point in our lives.
Favorite Line: There are many funny lines in this episode (the drinking scene is especially rich with one-liners), but my favorite moment is at the end, when the camera, perched outside The Swamp peering in, pans back as the doctors sing songs late into the night: "There's a long, long night of waiting/Until my dreams all come true/Til' the day that I'll be coming/Down that long, long trail with you."
A very evocative scene in terms of mood and setting, its also warm and tender, giving viewers the impression that the 4077th is going to be in good hands under this new commander.
Season 4, Episode 73: Welcome to Korea
Original Air Date: 9/12/75
Written by: Jim Fritzell & Everett Greenbaum and Larry Gelbart
Directed by: Gene Reynolds
Radar is woken up by new 4077 commander Frank Burns, for the morning's formation. He's nasty to Radar, and proves to be a pathetic leader to the troops.
In the middle of a rant by Frank, Hawkeye, coming back from R&R, is wheeled into camp, partly hung over. He ignores Frank's commands, and heads for the showers.
Radar chases after him, trying to tell Hawkeye something: while Hawkeye was gone, Trapper got his orders and was shipped home. They tried calling Hawkeye for three days, but couldn't get a hold of him. Hawkeye is stunned, and crushed that it seems that Trapper didn't even leave a note of goodbye, save for a kiss to the cheek, administered by Radar.
When Hawkeye learns that Trapper is flying out of Kimpo that very morning, he jumps out of the shower, tells Frank and Hot Lips he's leaving. They deny him permission, but he sneaks aboard the jeep Radar is taking into town to pick up Captain B.J. Hunnicutt, Trapper's replacement.
Hawkeye, in a mad rush not to miss Trapper, blows past an MP checkpoint, only to be stopped at a second. He fakes his way through it by pretending Radar has an infectious disease.
They make it to Kimpo, and while Radar searches for Captain Hunnicutt, Hawkeye tries to find Trapper. He finds the office in charge of processing people on their way home, but can barely get the attention of the man behind the desk, who is more concerned with the absurdly specific needs of a General. Finally, he gets a hold of the flight manifests, and finds...Trapper left ten minutes ago.
Demoralized, he wanders back outside, where Radar introduces him to Captain Hunnicutt, who insists on being called B.J. They decide to go home, but find that their jeep has been stolen!
After calming a panicked Radar down, they go into the Officers Club to get a drink (faking Radar as an officer, giving him some of B.J.'s captains bars and designating him a "Corporal Captain"). Its here that Hawkeye clues B.J. in as to what to expect, and the kind of people that make up the 4077th.
He compliments them all, but points out that B.J. is just missing "Two of the greatest guys in the world, though", including Henry, who was "Our C.O.--Henry was okay, from the navel out in every direction." He also clues B.J. in as to just how bad Burns--aka "Ferret Face"--is, as a commander and a doctor.
Upon leaving the club, they steal a General's jeep and head home. On the way, they run into a farming family searching a mine field, an incredibly dangerous proposition. They try to get them to stop, but not before one of the farmer's young daughters sets off a mine. In the confusion, Radar runs in to the mine field, grabs the injured girl, and brings her out.
While Hawkeye and Radar are missing, Frank is preparing the 4077th for the new arrival. He and Hot Lips dream of training Hunnicutt "our way."
Meanwhile, after dropping the girl off at a local hospital (the conditions of which disgusts and shocks B.J.), they get a flat tire. While fixing it, they run into some locals, who seem harmless enough--until they suddenly disappear into the woods. Moments later, bullets start to fly, and they scramble to get the new tire on and out of harm's way. B.J. notices there's a bullet hole in the seat right next to him.
As if that wasn't enough, Hawkeye, B.J., and Radar get caught in the middle of some mortar fire being shot at some U.S. soldiers. They jump out of the jeep and start tending to the wounded. B.J. receives one shock after the other--one dead solider looks to be barely thirteen years old, and another is wounded so bad that it causes B.J. to stagger off and vomit.
Radar points this out to Hawkeye. While Radar is calling the nearest MASH unit for help (the 8055th), Hawkeye stops and hold B.J.'s head as he continues to be sick. Finally, another wounded soldier needs attention, and Hawkeye turns, reaches his hand out to B.J. They join hands, and both of tend to the wounded G.I.
Back at the 4077th, Frank gets word that B.J. was picked up. Th attribute him being so late to Hawkeye, who must have had something to do with it.
Finally, Hawkeye, B.J., and Radar make it home. But just before they arrive, they stop at Rosie's Bar. They get loaded, so bad that Radar has to drive them the rest of the way.
Upon hearing the honks of the jeep's horn, Frank and Hot Lips run outside excitedly, ready to meet their new surgeon. Hawkeye, drunk and caked in sweat and mud, formally introduces B.J.: "Major Burns, Major Houilhan: may I present, Captain B.J. Hunnicutt."
B.J. manages a wobbly salute, only to collapse in laughter, clutching Hot Lips, and asking "What say you, Ferret Face?"
Hawkeye also dissolves into laughter, unable even to look Burns in the eye. Frank and Hot Lips stand there stunned, as they see all their plans to mold Captain Hunnicutt in their image have gone up in smoke.
Later, some MPs arrive, on the trail of the stolen jeep. They find Frank sitting it, and put him in custody. Hawkeye and B.J. wander by on their way to the showers, stopping long enough not to help Frank at all.
The P.A. announces the list of people now permanently assigned to the 4077th. "Mike Farrell as B.J. Hunnicutt" is inserted into the list, and at the end, we meet "Harry Morgan, as Col. Sherman Potter...Regular Army. God help us all."
Fun Facts: Seaons Four and Five of M*A*S*H--featuring the combo of Hawkeye, Frank, Hot Lips, Radar, Klinger, and Father Mulcahy with new characters B.J. and Col. Potter--remain my favorite seasons of not only the series, but of all of television.
There was something about these particular episodes that speak to me in a way no other television shows have ever done. (Really--much like how I am about Bob Dylan's Blood on the Tracks, or Justice League of America #200, I am completely unwilling to even consider the notion there has been--or ever will be--anything better in this particular medium).
The credit sequence, for the first time, has been changed. Not only are Wayne Rogers and McLean Stevenson's names gone (replaced by Mike Farrell and Harry Morgan, respectively), but Jamie Farr has been added to the end, and the overall size of the letters has been increased in size. Also, the last shot of the credits, featuring the doctors walking along with the jeeps carrying wounded, has been re-framed so Trapper is no longer seen at the very top.
A curious mention comes at the end, when we see the out-of-sequence scene of Col. Potter arriving. The P.A. says that Potter is reporting for duty on "September 19, 1952." Which means all of M*A*S*H's remaining seasons--all seven of them--take place between Sept. 1952 and July 27, 1953, which of course is highly unlikely. M*A*S*H would play fast and loose with various calendar dates all throughout its run.
I love Hawkeye's talk with B.J. in the Officers Club, where he tells him about the two people he just missed, Henry and Trapper. For whatever reason, I was always--and still am--incredibly intrigued at the moments of the show where the former characters were mentioned or referenced.
I really can't tell you why--maybe its because the show seemed to have three very distinct eras--the Hawkeye/Trapper/Henry years, the Hawkeye/B.J/Frank years, and then finally the Hawkeye/B.J/Winchester years, and they all seemed so different that I find it captivating when someone mentions a previous time on the show.
Growing up on the show having a laugh track, I'm simply used to how it sounds, having these weird laughs coming from out of nowhere. On the DVDs, you can turn the laugh track off (a neat feature), but I've found, to me at least, it doesn't make a huge difference.
Except in this episode--in the scene where Hawkeye is trying to get the attention of the Sergeant in charge of the flight manifests. After Hawkeye learns he missed Trapper by just ten minutes, he mutters a small "Thanks" to the Sergeant, and walks out. The Sergeant, not paying Hawkeye any attention, continues to rattle off the silly list of items ("Pickles, pimentos, balls, and cuckoos") to whomever he's speaking to on the phone.
With the laugh track on, the laughs piped in at the reading of the list kind of ruin the scene. But with laugh track off, Hawkeye's sadness and hurt is allowed to hang there, even after he's left the scene. Now, instead of the Sergeant's list being a silly laugh, it feels like a bitter counterpoint to what just happened.
This was M*A*S*H's first hour-long episode.
Favorite Line: This is one of M*A*S*H's finest episodes, in every way (the action scenes are as well executed as a lot of war films), so it was hard picking a favorite line or scene.
But one line that makes me laugh, every time, is when B.J. is telling Hawkeye how and when he learned he was shipping out. While out at dinner with his wife Peg, he says their babysitter Norma Jean took a message for them.
Before B.J. can continue with his story, Hawkeye interrupts him:
Hawkeye: "Wait, wait...Norma Jean? Eighteen?"
B.J.: "Sixteen."
Hawkeye, pounding the bar in mock frustration: "Ooh!"
