Episode 222 - Snappier Judgment

Season 10, Episode 222: Snappier Judgment
Original Air Date: 12/14/81
Written by: Paul Perlove
Directed by: Hy Averback

Everyone tries to help Klinger prepare for his trial. Winchester takes up the cause--mostly as a personal challenge--and gets Klinger to pick him as counsel.

Winchester has Father Mulcahy and Margaret prepare written statements defending Klinger's character, but it doesn't go well--Margaret breaks down in hysterics over the very idea of Klinger as an upstanding, model citizen, and Father Mulcahy's story falls apart when its revealed that involves Klinger having gotten a hold of stolen merchandise--hot Bibles!

Meanwhile, Hawkeye and B.J. come up with their own plan to capture the real crook--they go on and on, loudly, all over camp, about Winchester's super-expensive tape recorder, hoping to sucker the thief into trying to steal it.

Three days pass and no one has made an attempt at the tape recorder, which frustrates Hawkeye and B.J. to no end. In the meantime, they have to travel with Winchester and Klinger to I-Corps for the trial.

When they get there, Winchester immediately assumes the baby-faced prosecutor will be a pushover, and the case is practically won. But within just a few moments, it becomes clear that the prosecutor, Captain Rollins (Jack Blessing) knows what he's doing, and that Winchester's legal skills are woefully inadequate.

Capt. Rollins manages to drag damaging testimony out of both Hawkeye and B.J., and the case starts to look really bad for Klinger. Hawkeye and B.J. then return to the 4077th, relaying the grim news. But shortly thereafter wounded arrive, keeping everyone busy.

Everyone except an MP, who we see sneak into the Swamp and steal Winchester's tape recorder while everyone is in the OR. The MP carries the tape recorder to a hiding spot behind one of the tents, where Hawkeye and B.J. are waiting for him! We hear the snap of a camera as they take a picture of the MP, red-handed.

Back at I-Corps, the judge is about to render a guilty verdict on Klinger--but at the last moment, Hawkeye and B.J. burst in with their photos!

Hawkeye and B.J. reveal that it was Capt. Rollins that gave them the idea when he mentioned that all the robberies took place during OR sessions. That gave them the idea to stage a phony OR to try and catch the real crook. Seeing this new evidence, the judge declares Klinger not guilty!

Back at the 4077th, everyone poses for a camp picture with the returned Polaroid. Except they don't get the chance when an MP arrives, investigating a case involving Mulcahy's stolen Bibles. Mulchay is flustered, so Winchester steps in, offering to be his lawyer, too.


Fun Facts: There's a great little camera move during the final scene--first we see the MP approach Mulcahy, and he stars to talk about the stolen Bibles. Then the camera cuts to Klinger.

Knowing he's in hot water, Klinger skulks away, out of the frame, as the camera pulls back in between Mulcahy and the MP. Its a really well composed shot, and seeing Klinger tear out of the scene in the background is very funny.


Favorite Line: Hawkeye, amused at Winchester's suggestion that he is a defender of the downtrodden: "Charles, you do all the trodding, that's how they got down."

Episode 221 - Snap Judgment

Season 10, Episode 221: Snap Judgment
Original Air Date: 12/7/81
Written by: Paul Perlove
Directed by: Hy Averback

Hawkeye and B.J. receive a gift from the grateful father of a patient of theirs--a brand new, super expensive Polaroid camera. As much as they appreciate the gift, they're worried its going to get stolen, since at the moment the 4077th is suffering from a crime wave of pilfering.

After a series of failed attempts to get the camera to work, it is, in fact, stolen during a session in OR. This enrages everyone, no one more than Col. Potter, who nevertheless is confused as to what to do about it.

He instructs Klinger to fill out a stolen goods report, but after a week or so when there's no news, Hawkeye and B.J. look into it. They are told by HQ that they never got the report Klinger filed--turns out he screwed up and sent them an empty envelope.

Hawkeye and B.J. are furious at Klinger for messing up, and now are convinced they'll never get the camera back, since the crook or crooks had has a week's head start.

Klinger, feeling guilty over his screw up, decides to do some investigating of his own: he goes to Rosie's Bar, and bribes Rosie to find out about any black marketeers in the area. Rosie tells him about "Little Chicago", a roving band of thieves selling stolen merchandise.

Klinger secretly drives to Little Chicago, and finds the camera. He buys it back with his own money, driving back delighted he fixed his mistake. But he's stopped by some MPs, who think Klinger stole it.

Back at the 4077th, the MPs return the camera to Hawkeye and B.J., and tell them the culprit is Klinger. They laugh at this, insisting Klinger is innocent, but the MPs won't listen, and go ahead with their case.

The Army's CID sends an investigator named Capt. Triplett (Peter Jurasik) to the 4077th to see if there's strong enough evidence to put Klinger on trial. Everyone lays on the white wash to protect Klinger, so much so that Jurasik tells Hawkeye, B.J., and Potter over drinks that "No one's tried to insult my intelligence this badly since Basic Training."

But they are relieved when Triplett says that while Klinger is clearly a first class scrounger, there's no evidence he stole the camera. Until Rosie arrives, and tells them to send a message to Klinger about Little Chicago if he's looking to fence stolen merchandise. Triplett, hearing this, re-opens his investigation.

Triplett recommends a court martial and a trial is scheduled. Klinger tries to see the upside of being found guilty, thinking it would mean he'd at least be sprung from Korea.

But Col. Potter has to break the bad news to him: if he is found guilty, Klinger is looking at a dishonorable discharge, a criminal record in his private life, and six months of hard labor.

To be continued!


Fun Facts: This M*A*S*H's first two-part episode (as opposed to a one-hour show) since the eighth season.


Favorite Line: Klinger doesn't believe he screwed up, and pulls a sheath of papers from his files to prove it.

As he fumbles, Hawkeye says, "You can always spot a Kelly Girl."