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Original Air Date: 1/26/74
Written by: Laurence Marks & Sheldon Keller & Larry Gelbart
Directed by: Jackie Cooper
A Korean family moves in at the 4077th, stating that this is their land, and the 4077th is trespassing. They start building a house, right there on the compound.
One of them is a young woman with a baby, who says the father's address is M*A*S*H 4077. Henry assumes (naturally) its "Pierce, and/or McIntyre", but she surprises everyone when she claims Radar is the father!
Henry asks a visiting Captain Pak for help, but he can't convince the villagers to leave. Henry then tries to get help from HQ's Civilian Affairs department, and asks them to send someone.
In the meantime, no one can believe Radar is the father, which gets him mad. He denies being the father, yet he starts acting like one, spending time with the mother and doting on the child. Hawkeye and Trapper take a blood test to get an answer once and for all.
Finally, a Lt. Harper (Dennis Robertson) arrives, to investigate the paternity suit, and sends Radar out of the room. Moments later, Hawkeye and Trapper show up with the results, proving Radar isn't the father.
Capt. Pak talks to the young girl some more, and she admits that the real father left her, and she's been ostracized by her family. Radar was kind to her, so she thanked him by making him the father.
Radar then bursts in, telling a tall tale about how he is the father, but they show him the blood test.
Outside, Frank is shoving all the Korean villagers into a truck, sending them further south to be with other refugees. They offer to take the young girl and her baby with them, so she now has a family.
Hawkeye asks Radar why he lied, and he admit he liked the way everyone treated him when they thought he did the kind of thing that could have made him the father. He admits, indirectly, that he's a virgin, and he worries he'll always be one. Hawkeye reassures him, which makes Radar feel better.
Fun Facts: This is the second, and last, appearance of Pat Morita as Capt. Sam Pak. He was very funny in the part, and fit in well with the gang, its a shame he didn't make more appearances.
There's a funny and unusual scene with Frank where he takes it upon himself to talk to HQ, and he's so chummy with the guy on the other end of the line that the guy makes some sort of verbal "pass" at Frank, which sends Frank into a tizzy, feeling the need to reaffirm his heterosexuality.
Favorite Line: The scene between Hawkeye and Radar when they talk about Radar lying about his "experience" is very sweet. Hawkeye tries to reassure him someday the moment will come, and Radar asks "You think?"
Hawkeye responds with a kind of shruggy affirmative yes, underlining the confidence he has in Radar. Its a very sweet moment, one totally because of Alda's perfect delivery.
Original Air Date: 1/12/74
Written by: Sheldon Keller
Directed by: Don Weis
Hawkeye is in desperate need of a new boot, the old one has a giant hole in the bottom of it, and with the brutal winter weather, its unbearable.
Hawkeye and Trapper decide to lean on the Supply Sergeant Zale (Johnny Haymer), who did order the new boots but can't explain why they haven't come in yet. Hawkeye complains, but Zale says he has it worse--he is in need of a bridge.
Hawkeye hits upon the idea that if he can get the camp dentist to fix Zale's tooth, will Zale expedite the boot order? Zale agrees, so Hawkeye go to see Dr. Futterman (Michael Lerner), who says he doesn't have the time for "cosmetic work." Futterman also mentions that he desperately wants to have some R&R in Tokyo.
The doctors then turn to Henry, trying to get Futterman a pass, which will get him to work on Zale, which will get Zale to order the boots...
This series of deals keeps escalating, eventually involving Radar needing a date, Klinger getting his Section 8 papers signed, which Hawkeye and Trapper hope they can get from Frank, after they butter him up with a big fancy birthday party (with presents!).
Everything falls into place, until Frank flatly refuses to sign Klinger's papers, which causes the whole house of cards to collapse. It ends with Hawkeye cursing the fates, screaming about how he debased himself just to get a lousy new boot.
Later, we see Hawkeye still waiting for his boots, using a golf bag as a temporary replacement. Fore!
Fun Facts: This episode features the first appearance of Sgt. Zale, played by actor Johnny Haymer.
This is the last mention of the 4077th having any sort of dentist on staff.
This is a generally silly (though still funny) episode, but the final scene with Hawkeye and Trapper heading off to eat, is sort of melancholy, a nice counterpoint to the rest of the episode.
Favorite Line: Hawkeye and Trapper discuss how they'd be willing to bribe the powers that be to end the war, offering as much as $20.
Trapper: "I'd even be willing to go to $25...but don't tell them that in the beginning."
Original Air Date: 2/4/73
Written by: Sheldon Keller & Larry Gelbart
Directed by: Jackie Cooper
Hawkeye writes another letter home, chronicling the experiences at the 4077th.
The most notable development is the addition of another doctor, Adam Casey (Alex Henteloff), who is a top-flight surgeon. The only problem is, he's not a real doctor--something he confesses to Father Mulcahy.
During downtime, Hawkeye and Trapper make a bet that Hawkeye can walk the camp naked and no one will notice. He makes it all the way into the Mess Tent until one of the Corpsman (Roy Goldman, making what I believe is his very first appearance on the show, who would go on to stay on the series until its final episode) drops his tray in shock. Trapper wins the bet.
Hawkeye eventually learns of Casey's lack of credentials, and takes over for him mid-surgery. Later, he makes a deal with Casey--he won't turn him in, on the condition he never touch another patient again. Casey agrees, and admits to faking a number of professions--he has the skill, he just doesn't have the patience to do it by the book.
Later, as Casey prepares to ship out, he's decided to try on a new role--one of a chaplain.
Fun Facts: There were battles between the network and the show about the use of the laugh track. The producers didn't want it used at all (since of course the show was not shot in front of a live audience), but CBS insisted.
So they struck a deal, where the laugh track would be used, except in surgery--which seemed too serious to have people giggling all over it. This episode violates that rule, where you hear the laughs kick in when Hawkeye tells a joke to Nurse Bayliss.
Take a look at the moment where Pvt. Goldman drops his tray in reaction to Hawkeye being naked--its one of the few moments of really bad acting on the show. Goldman sees Hawkeye, pauses for a full second, then lifts his hands slightly and drops his tray, in mock surprise. Its so horribly fake its funny all in its own way.
Favorite Line: As Hawkeye prepares for his streaking jaunt, he asks Trapper for a shot of liquid courage.
Trapper responds: "We don't normally serve people without neckties."
