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Season 5, Episode 113: End Run
Original Air Date: 1/25/77
Written by: John D. Hess
Directed by: Harry Morgan
This episode opens on the front line, as a group of U.S. solider come under enemy fire. One of the wounded is a young man named Billy Tyler (Henry Brown), who arrives at the 4077th with a nasty wound to his leg. Radar recognizes Tyler, who was a college football star back in Iowa.
Just before he goes under, Tyler tells Hawkeye and B.J. that if they "can't save the leg...don't save me." But despite their best efforts, Tyler's leg wound is too great, and Hawkeye ends up having to amputate it.
Later, in Post Op, Tyler thanks Hawkeye for saving his leg. Hawkeye has to break the news to him that the pains Tyler feels are just "phantom pains", leftovers from the wound. Tyler, for the first time, looks under his blanket, and sees what has happened. He is furious, and, eyes welling up with tears, blames Hawkeye and tells him to go to Hell.
Hawkeye is demoralized by Tyler's reaction, and so is Radar, who comes in to drown his sorrows in booze, as well. Hawkeye tries to take his mind off it by getting involved in a fight between Klinger and Sgt. Zale, organized by Frank, mostly for his own entertainment. He tries getting the two of them to agree to a truce, but it doesn't work.
Later, Radar tells Hawkeye that Billy wants "out"--and not just out of the Army. Hawkeye sits down and has a talk with Billy, but he's adamant about his belief that he has no future without being able to play football.
After Hawkeye leaves, Radar stops by to talk, reminiscing about a great game he saw Tyler play in, where, even though Tyler's team was behind, Tyler simply wouldn't give up until he and his team were victorious.
Remembering that game, Tyler agrees that it was his tenacity that won the day, and says "There's always a way to beat them--you just have to keep searching, until you find it."
In that moment, Tyler realizes what he just heard himself say, and that Radar was drawing it out of him.
Meanwhile, Klinger and Zale's fight commences, with Frank gleefully acting as ringmaster. After they dance around each other, never landing a punch, Frank demands they really start throwing some punches. So they do--both hitting Frank at the same time, knocking him out. The spectators--Hawkeye, B.J., Hot Lips, and others--fall over in hysterics.
Later, Tyler is being shipped out, and he mentions to Hawkeye that he's going to go for "the short pass"--a term which bewilders Hawkeye but delights Radar. Tyler thanks Hawkeye for all his help.
After Tyler's ambulance departs, Radar explains to Hawkeye that Billy intends to try. Both of them feeling better, they decide to have a drink together at Rosie's Bar. Radar wonders, "Can you get drunk on Grape Nehi?" Hawkeye, putting his arm around Radar, answers: "I don't know, let's find out."
Fun Facts: The second episode of the series directed by Harry Morgan, who shows himself to be a crackerjack TV director. This episode opens with two scenes--one of Billy getting wounded, the other the brawl in Rosie's Bar--brilliantly intercut, with the fight scene being particularly well-executed.
Col. Potter has a tiny role in this episode, like he did in Morgan's previous directing effort, Season Four's "The Novocaine Mutiny." I guess Morgan found it easier to direct an episode when he didn't have to do too much acting in it, either.
Favorite Line: Klinger and Zale engage in a round of insults, with Klinger getting off this good one: "If my dog had your face, I'd shave his butt and teach him to walk backwards."
Season 4, Episode 78: The Bus
Original Air Date: 10/17/75
Written by: John D. Hess
Directed by: Gene Reynolds
On the way back from a medical conference, Hawkeye, B.J., Frank, Col. Potter, and Radar get stranded in the Korean hills when their bus breaks down.
When Radar can't get the bus started after hitting a huge rock, Col. Potter has everyone scout around to see if they see anything familiar. No one does, so Potter orders everyone to stay on the bus for the night.
With nothing to do, the doctors spend the time chatting, including telling stories about their "first time." The mood darkens a bit when Hawkeye makes a careless comment about it being Radar's fault they're lost.
When its Radar's turn to tell his story, he begs off saying he has to go the bathroom. He leaves the bus, and the doctors continue telling their stories--even Frank, in between sneaking bites from a chocolate bar he's hiding from the rest of them.
It then dawns on them that Radar has been gone too long, and Hawkeye asks to go looking for him. Potter refuses.
When they hear a noise outside, they think its Radar, but it turns out to be a wounded North Korean soldier (Soon Tek-Oh), looking to give up. The doctors take care of him, except for Frank, who insists he could be booby-trapped. When all the doctors get some sleep, Frank stands guard, delivering a monologue to the soldier (who doesn't understand a word) so loony and self-deluded it's frightening.
Radar then returns, discovering that Frank has been eating chocolate on the sly. The rest of the doctors wake up, happy to have Radar back. He says that since he got them lost, he thought he should try finding them a way home.
Radar says he never found any enemy soldiers in the area, so they're safe as long as they can fix the bus. Luckily, the North Korean solider is a mechanical whiz, and fixes the bus for them!
On the way home, they all mention how hungry they are. Radar hints about Frank's chocolate stash, which forces him to pretend he just found some in his duffel bag. He "generously" gives them all a candy bar a piece.
Fun Facts: This was the first of many fourth and fifth season episodes where M*A*S*H toyed with its format--the entire episode takes place on the bus and in the surrounding countryside, with no scenes at the 4077th.
This episode features another appearance by actor Soon Tek-Oh, playing a different character than he did in his first episode, Season Three's "Love and Marriage."
Since this episode has no scenes at the 4077th (a first), Hot Lips, Klinger, and Father Mulcahy do not appear.
Favorite Line: Col. Potter's story about his first time involves a French nurse named Collette, and while its not funny (its not supposed to be), Harry Morgan delivers it so pitch-perfectly that it sounds like a real memory, not some writer's concoction.
Col. Potter telling exciting/funny/weird stories from his illustrious past became a M*A*S*H staple, and they were always so interesting that I would've loved to have seen a Young Sherman Potter Adventures spin-off show.
Season 3, Episode 60: A Full Rich Day
Original Air Date: 12/3/74
Written by: John D. Hess
Directed by: Gene Reynolds
Hawkeye, in possession of a fancy new tape recorder, decides to recite a letter home to his Dad, relating the events of what he calls "A full rich day."
First, during triage, Frank and Klinger have to deal with a Turkish solider, who, even though he is wounded, refuses to be separated from his fellow Turks, yelling and brandishing a knife in the process. Meanwhile, Radar is trying to find a Lieutenant from Luxembourg, who was supposed to be on the bus along with the other wounded.
Then, a G.I. named Smith (William Watson) arrives demanding his Sergeant be seen immediately. When Frank refuses, the G.I. points his rifle at Frank saying in no uncertain terms that's not the right answer. Frank scurries off to get Henry.
Smith then walks into Pre-Op, and makes the same "request." Hawkeye takes Smith aside while Henry takes a look at the Sergeant. Smith reluctantly agrees, but quickly grows tired of Hawkeye's small talk and theory about how each of them see the war differently.
They take the Sergeant in and start to work on him, with Smith waiting outside. As if that wasn't tense enough, the angry Turk brought in earlier gets up from the table, and in his escape from the O.R., accidentally sticks Henry with a needle, knocking him out.
After waking up, Henry is met by Col. Blanche (Curt Lowens), who as told his Lieutenant was at the 4077th. At first he is told the Lieutenant died, which is bad enough. But it gets worse when Radar has to inform Henry and Col. Blanche that the corpse is missing. Henry tells Radar to drop everything and find the body.
Trapper and Frank help fix up the Sergeant, while Radar, in his search for the missing corpse, finds the Turk hiding out in the kitchen. He grabs Hawkeye, and they try and corral him.
After trying to communicate with him in his own language, Hawkeye decides to put a drug in the drink he hands the Turk. He tells Radar it will take a few minutes for it to hit, so he puts the Turk in a jeep with Radar. When the Turk passes out, Radar is to turn right around and return to the 4077th so the Turk can be patched up.
Later, Hawkeye and Trapper tell Smith his Sergeant will be fine, but then Smith collapses in their arms--he's badly wounded, as well.
Unable to find the body, Henry offers to have a memorial for the Lieutenant, which Col. Blanche agrees to. They play the National Anthem of Luxembourg, and as it rings out over the P.A., we see a heavily bandaged solider laying in Post Op, so stirred that he struggles to get up and walk onto the compound.
Turns out this is Lt. LeClerq, who is not dead after all. Col. Blanche is overjoyed, and embraces the man--but gently!
Moments later, the jeep with Radar and the Turk returns, but with the Turk driving, and a passed-out Radar. He hands Radar over to Hawkeye, calls him a "Damn good Joe" and drives off--the end of one very weird day at the 4077th.
Fun Facts: The episode ends with Hawkeye signing off to his Dad, and even though there are some laughs, its very melancholy ending--a nice coda to an episode full of manic silliness.
Hot Lips makes no appearance in this episode.
Favorite Line: Hawkeye tries talking to the Turk in his native language, but can only speak gibberish. The Turk tries to reciprocate, trying to speak some English phonetically.
When Hawkeye mentions the knockout drug is Choral-hydrate, the Turk mutters something to the effect of "Korahyrate."
