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Season 11, Episode 251: Goodbye, Farewell, and Amen
Original Air Date: 2/28/83
Written by: Alan Alda, Burt Metcalfe, John Rappaport, Dan Wilcox & Thad Mumford, Elias Davis & David Pollock, Karen Hall
Directed by: Alan Alda
This episode opens in a location we've never seen--the Army psychiatric hospital where Sidney Freedman works. We find him in the middle of a session with a patient, except the patient is...Hawkeye.
Sidney is trying to get to the bottom of something that happened involving a trip most of the camp took to the beach. But Hawkeye is in no mood to talk--all he's interested in is getting out, pronto. When everyone back at the 4077th calls him to lift his spirits, that's all he talks about to them, as well.
There's rumors of the peace talks progressing, to the point of ending the war once and for all. Margaret seems so confident that she starts planning what she's going to be doing after the war, which initially involves her working at an administrative post in Tokyo.
She tries to share her good news with Winchester, who is less than interested--partly because he's learned that his application to be Chief of Thoracic Surgery in Boston may be turned down, but mostly because he's suffering from a stomach ailment, causing an acute bout of intestinal distress.
All this is tabled when a tank comes tearing onto the compound, flailing wildly, eventually crashing into the Latrine, causing Winchester to wander off, panicked.
Margaret begins to berate the tank driver, but when he emerges from it, she sees he's severely wounded. Soon, she is assisting Col. Potter in OR working on the young man.
Meanwhile, the construction of the new Latrine is going so slowly (what would you expect, with Igor in charge?) that Winchester is forced to use, as Col. Potter so delicately puts it, "The ravine latrine."
Left with no other options, Winchester heads out into the woods, where he runs into five North Korean soldiers. He begs for mercy, until he sees what they are carrying aren't guns, but...musical instruments. "By God, they're musicians", he says to himself, astonished. They follow Winchester back to the 4077th, looking to turn themselves in.
Back at the hospital, Sidney and Hawkeye continue to talk, and Hawkeye admits that on the bus they took home, there was a wounded solider. Sidney wonders why Hawkeye didn't mention this before, but Hawkeye has no answers.
Meanwhile, Margaret has Klinger write a telegram to an old friend back at Boston Hospital, looking to help Winchester land his dream job. She's interrupted by Soon Lee, who needs Klinger's help in finding her still-missing parents. They are both interrupted by Col. Potter, who demands Klinger call I-Corps to get help removing the giant tank, still in the middle of the compound.
Winchester, back at the Swamp, tries to listen to some classical music. Its drowned out by the North Korean musicians, and when he demands they stop, they surprise him by playing some Mozart. They're so good it stops Winchester in his tracks, stunned, unable to move even as wounded arrive.
A few days later, B.J. gets a surprise letter from I-Corps--orders to head home! He tells Col. Potter, who thinks it must be some sort of snafu. B.J., afraid to ask I-Corps any further questions, begs to let go. Potter makes him a deal--if B.J. can find a replacement, then he's free to go.
Suddenly, artillery starts to fall, and everyone hides under the tables in the Mess Tent. Unfortunately, all the P.O.W.s imprisoned in the makeshift cell in the compound are sitting ducks. As the bombs get closer, Father Mulcahy runs outside to free them.
He succeeds, but he's too close when one bomb hits, knocking Mulcahy to the ground. Later, B.J. examines him, and Mulcahy learns he's damaged a part of his inner ear. Which, B.J. warns, might lead to Mulcahy losing his hearing completely. Mulcahy, scared to be sent home (and unwilling to leave the orphans "in the lurch"), makes B.J. promise not to tell anyone else.
Meanwhile, Hawkeye starts to slowly reveal what happened that night on the bus--he tells Sidney they came across a North Korean patrol, so they had to turn off the lights and be completely quiet until they pass. Everyone does so, except for a squawking chicken sitting on the lap of a Korean woman. She unable to keep it quiet, endangering everyone's lives.
Back at the 4077th, Soon Lee is determined to keep searching for her parents, even in dangerous areas. Klinger tries to talk her out of it, but she won't listen. Meanwhile, B.J. keeps pestering him to find a replacement surgeon so he can go home.
A day or so later, B.J. comes to visit Hawkeye, but its tense and awkward. B.J. obliquely mentions going home, but when it sets Hawkeye off he clams up about his orders home. When B.J. mentions his daughter Erin, it sends Hawkeye into a raving talking jag, which unnerves B.J. so much he gets Sidney.
Sidney starts an impromptu session, and B.J. departs, but not before awkwardly saying goodbye--realizing it might be the last time he ever sees him.
Sidney and Hawkeye talk, and it eventually comes back to talking about the bus and the chicken. Hawkeye reveals that the woman smothered the chicken to keep it quiet, reducing Hawkeye to anguished tears.
Sidney at first can't understand why this upsets Hawkeye so, until he reveals it wasn't a chicken the woman smothered...it was her own baby. The woman smothered her own baby to save everyone else's life.
Hawkeye is angry and disgusted that Sidney drew that memory out of him, but Sidney says this is good news: "Now we're halfway home."
A couple of days later, Hawkeye assumes he's heading home, but Sidney has disappointing news: he's going back to the 4077th. Hawkeye crumples up the letter to his father telling him he's coming home, tossing it away.
Back at the 4077th, Klinger arranges a flight for B.J. home, having scheduled a replacement surgeon--a Dr. Arnie Jacobsen--to arrive the next day. A chopper arrives, delivering mail. When he mentions he's headed to Kimpo, B.J. bums a ride with him--even though that means he has to leave in five minutes.
With so little time, B.J. only has the chance to give everyone a cursory goodbye. He tries to write a letter to Hawkeye, but can't think of what to say. He finally asks Margaret to talk to Hawkeye for him. Margaret tearfully hugs B.J. goodbye.
Potter watches as B.J.'s boards the chopper, just as Klinger finds him, telling him that I-Corps has rescinded B.J.'s orders. Potter pretends not to hear this, and watches B.J. depart.
As Hawkeye makes his way back to the 4077th, we watch Winchester train his North Korean musicians in the art of classical music, Klinger continue to try and help Soon Lee find her parents, and Margaret accept another offer as to what she's going to do after the war is over.
Wounded arrive just as Hawkeye returns, and he is floored to hear B.J. has left for home. His replacement, Capt. Jacobsen, hasn't arrived either, meaning the 4077th is short handed.
Hawkeye is slow to get back to the old routine. Margaret asks what's wrong, and Hawkeye asks "What could be wrong? I'm about to stick my hands into a kid whose insides look like raw meat loaf, I found out my best friend went home without leaving me so much as a damn note..."
Margaret interrupts, apologizing for B.J., saying how bad he felt about doing that, but Hawkeye cuts her off: "Trapper left without leaving a note, too...is it the war that stinks, or me?"
After the long session in OR, bombs start to fall again. After hiding in a sandbag-fortified Post Op, Hawkeye has had enough--he bolts out onto the compound, ducking artillery blasts. He jumps into the tank, and drives it off into the camp garbage dump, a mile or two away. He returns to the compound to a round of applause...except from Col. Potter and Margaret, who think they need to put in a call to Sidney.
Meanwhile, Soon Lee has taken off to search for her parents, into dangerous areas. Klinger finds her, and promises he will help her find her parents, no matter what. Soon Lee agrees, and heads back to the 4077th with him.
That night, Col. Potter and Klinger spy a fiery glow coming from the hills. Klinger thinks its the sunset, but Potter realizes they're looking east, not west--its a massive forest fire, started by all the falling artillery.
This causes the 4077th to bug out, and move the whole camp down the road. Once they get there, they are met by their new surgeon--B.J.
Turns out that once I-Corps realized their error, they found B.J. in an airport in Guam, and sent him right back to Korea. As frustrated as he is, he's happy to see Hawkeye back. He apologizes to Hawkeye for not leaving a note, but Hawkeye gives him a sarcastic reply.
That night, Klinger reveals his deep feelings for Soon Lee, and asks her to marry him. She accepts, but mentions that she can't leave Korea until she finds her parents. Even after Klinger responds "that could be months...years", she remains adamant. At an impasse, Klinger departs.
The next day, the camp has a picnic for the kids in the local orphanage, and Sidney arrives to talk to Hawkeye. Hawkeye admits to being terrified to perform surgery again.
A few days later, Winchester's North Korean musicians are shipped out, over his protestations. With a truce seemingly near, all the POWs are being shipped out. Winchester, sad but accepting, watches the truck they're in depart down the road, as the five musicians play Mozart, the sound getting quieter and quieter.
Heading back to the Swamp, Winchester is stopped in his tracks when the P.A. makes an announcement: the truce has been signed, hostilities will end in 12 hours: "The war is over!"
Just as everyone breaks into hysterical cheers, wounded arrive, snapping the 4077th back to work. Amid the chaos, Potter announces I-Corps wants them back to their original location, with the bug out commencing after the session in OR.
Making their way back, everyone is sad to see their former home burnt to a crisp, with the metal hospital left charred and stained. Potter takes a look around, and then announces, "Okay, boys and girls...let's go to work."
The next day, everyone goes through their last OR session, where they talk about what the first thing is they want when they get home. They are discouraged as they listen to reporter Robert Pierpoint give the sad totals of the war--how many dead, how many wounded, how many left homeless, how much money spent.
During a break, Hawkeye and B.J. talk in the Mess Tent, where Hawkeye admits the only thing he's going to miss about the 4077th is B.J. B.J. promises to keep in contact, "One year Peg and I will come east", but his tone underlines the uncertainty they both feel about ever seeing each other again.
Hawkeye mocks B.J. a bit over this, trying to get him to actually say the word "goodbye." B.J. refuses, and walks off.
More wounded arrive, and Winchester does triage. He is stunned when he sees one of the wounded--who is inevitably going to die from his injuries--is one of the North Korean musicians. He asks what happened to the rest, but is grimly told the one lying before him, "Is the only one that made it this far."
Crushed, he wanders into the Swamp and puts on some Mozart. He listens to it for a few seconds, then angrily grabs the record, smashing it into pieces.
As the session in OR continues, Sidney quietly follows asks how Hawkeye is doing. When Hawkeye feels confident enough to work on a small wounded child, Sidney knows Hawkeye will be fine.
As he makes his exit, he says goodbye to everyone. He stops at the door, turns, and says, "You know I told you people something a long time ago, and its just as pertinent today as it was then: ladies and gentlemen, take my advice--pull down your pants, and slide on the ice." With that, Sidney Freedman departs.
Moments later, the official end of the war is heard when the guns go silent. Robert Pierpoint announces: "There it is--that's the sound of Peace." Everyone pauses for a moment, then goes back to work.
The next night--the last night they'll have together--the 4077th holds a huge dinner in the Mess Tent to announce what each of them will be doing once they get home.
Col. Potter goes first, saying he'll be a semi-retired country doctor, but most of the time, he'll be "Mrs. Potter's Mr. Potter." Kellye follows, saying she's found a position in a hospital back home in Honolulu.
Rizzo announces his plans to breed frogs for french restaurants, much to everyone's hysterics. Hawkeye follows, planning to return to Crabapple Cove, and having the time to talk to his patients, and "get to know them." Igor plans to be a pig farmer, to which Rizzo asks, "What do you mean, 'gonna be'?"
Nurse Bigelow, after being a nurse at the tail end of WWII, and then Korea, quietly admits, "You know something? I've had it."
Potter asks Winchester, who initially gives a bloodless answer about being Chief of Thoracic Surgery, so his life "Will go on pretty much as I expected." He begins to sit down, but then stops, admitting, "For me, music was always a refuge from this miserable experience...now it will always be a...reminder."
Margaret announces she's worked through a number of offers, but has decided to work in the States, in a hospital. She tearfully thanks her nurses for their superb work.
Klinger is last, and he announces that he and Soon Lee are getting married! He then points out the one problem is that she won't leave until she finds her parents. So, he admits, "I don't believe I'm saying this...I'm staying in Korea." Everyone erupts into stunned laughter. The evening ends with a toast to the new couple, everyone clinking their glasses in succession.
The next morning, Father Mulcahy performs the marriage ceremony, with Col. Potter as Best Man. As Klinger and Soon Lee climb into their "limo" (a horse-drawn cart), Klinger says goodbye to all his friends. B.J. has him sign a picture of himself in his Scarlett O'Hara gown, because, when he tells Erin about his experiences, "There's just some things she's just not going to believe."
After tearfully saying goodbye to Col. Potter, Soon Lee throws her bouquet, right into the arms of...Margaret.
The nurses head off to the 8063rd, but not before Kellye and some of the others grab their hometown markers from the camp signpost.
Father Mulcahy then leaves, still trying to keep his hearing loss a secret. Hawkeye tells him a joke, but he can't hear it, so after B.J. giving him silent instructions, he fakes a laugh. As he climbs into his ambulance, he waves and says, "Goodbye everybody...I'll pray for you."
Winchester, originally scheduled to depart with Margaret in a jeep, finds there is no room left since she has filled it with her belongings. Winchester kisses her hand goodbye, and Col. Potter kisses her on the head, just as a father would do. She and Hawkeye stare at one another for a moment, awkwardly trying to figure out what to say.
They finally embrace, and share a long--really long--passionate kiss. After they finish, Hawkeye simply says, "Well, so long", to which Margaret replies, "See ya." She watches them all as her jeep leaves the camp.
Just before Winchester leaves in--of all things--a garbage truck, they watch the Swamp be collapsed, forever. Hawkeye expresses sympathy for all the homeless rats, but Winchester assures him "Don't worry, you'll find somewhere to go."
He compliments Col. Potter's skills as a commander, and sarcastically says goodbye to Hawkeye and B.J. Climbing into the junky garbage truck, he bows slightly, and says, "Gentlemen." With that, he departs.
Before Col. Potter climbs on Sophie, he thanks Hawkeye and B.J. for always making him laugh, telling them there were times when, as commander, he had to pretend he was mad at them, but "Inside, I was laughing to beat all hell."
Hawkeye and B.J., teary-eyed, tell their former commander they have a gift for him--a honest, no-nonsense military salute. Col. Potter tearfully returns the gesture of respect, and rides off on his steed.
Hawkeye and B.J. begin an awkward goodbye on the compound, but when they hear Hawkeye's chopper arrive B.J. offers him a ride up to the chopper pad.
Once they make it there, they say goodbye, admitting how much they will miss one another. After recalling some great times together, they hug. Hawkeye climbs into the chopper, and B.J. starts his motorcycle.
He yells to Hawkeye, saying "I'll see you back in the States--I promise! But just in case, I left you a note", pointing to something off in the distance.
Hawkeye, confused, yells, "What?!?" but B.J. doesn't answer. He simply waves goodbye, and drives off.
Hawkeye's chopper begins to lift off, and he looks around for what his friend was talking about. He smiles when he sees, on one of the lower chopper pads, a note B.J. has left for him, spelled out in stones: "Goodbye."
Cracking a grin, Hawkeye looks out one last time over the camp, now mostly deserted and consisting of empty building frames. He then leans back into his seat, looking at peace.
The last shot we see is of Hawkeye's chopper, headed off into the distance:
Fun Facts: This episode still holds the record, almost 27 years later, as the most watched series episode TV history, with over 106 million viewers. Considering how fragmented TV is now, its a safe bet that's a record that will never be broken.
This is the series' longest episode, and the only one to feature an on-screen title.
I have so many comments and/or questions relating to this episode, I hardly know where to begin, and we don't have room for them all here. So here's a few:
Question: Why can't Col. Potter take Sophie with him? He lives in Missouri, not Manhattan. As an animal lover since I was small, the idea that Col. Potter left Sophie behind was really heartbreaking to me. Maybe it was to give Harry Morgan some bit of a storyline, since, of all the characters, he undergoes the least change in this episode?
Comment: I love Hawkeye bringing up Trapper not leaving a note when he left, even after all this time. Hawkeye as a character was always more insecure than B.J., so that line really gives you the sense that Hawkeye is still smarting from that perceived slight.
Question: All the characters get to say goodbye to each other in the final scene, except for Margaret and Father Mulcahy, who will see each other again at the 8063rd. Why was this? Just one goodbye moment too many?
Comment: I love the moment with Enid Kent as Nurse Bigelow in the banquet scene. Most everyone is chipper and happy now that the war's over, and looking forward to the next chapter of their lives. But Nurse Bigelow is just sick of war, sick of the death. This was the character's finest moment in the series.
Comment: This episode was filmed at the beginning of the year, before most of the other Season Eleven episodes. How weird must have that been for the actors, to play these heartfelt, tearful goodbye scenes, and then go and film more shows?
Favorite Line: How do I pick a favorite line from this monumental, literally historic episode?
There aren't that many funny lines, which is to be expected, since this episode is so inherently dramatic. So I'm going to pick two lines, one funny, one serious.
The laugh line: When, after Hawkeye finishes another rant mentioning a bus, Sidney repeats back to him: "Chickens take the bus?"
Hawkeye, aggravated to no end: "Again with the bus? Why don't you subscribe to Arizona Highways and leave me alone?"
Now for the serious: during Hawkeye and B.J.'s final scene, there are many great, heartfelt lines, but I think B.J.'s line "I can't imagine what this place would have been like if I hadn't found you here" hits me the most.
As a kid, I was, as you might imagine from someone who spends so much time blogging about comic book superheroes, horror magazines, and TV shows, not a very "macho" kid. I didn't like to play sports, and when I did I was awful. I felt like I didn't fit in and so many of the things that boys my age were into I was completely indifferent to.
I was a sensitive kid, and of course any kid who was interested in anything less than punching another kid in the face was called "gay", or a host of other terms meant to wound.
Not to over-dramatize this, but I clearly remember watching the final episode, as it aired. I was in the 6th grade, and it was revelatory to me, to watch two men express their fondness--oh hell, love--for one another so openly. Hawkeye and B.J. were two people I aspired to be like--they were smart, confident, compassionate, funny--and if they could be so open with who they were, maybe I could be, too.
So...is this the end of the blog? Well, yes and no. I have a bunch of other related posts to get to in the next week or two, so please join me for those.
But after that, yes, my look back at M*A*S*H will end and this blog will cease. Had any episodes of After M*A*S*H been available, in any format, I might have considered taking a look at that series, too--I haven't seen any of them since they first aired, and I'd love to revisit the show and see how it plays now (I really can't believe, with all the TV shows that have been put on DVD, that After M*A*S*H is still languishing in limbo).
Be back tomorrow!
Season 11, Episode 236: Hey, Look Me Over
Original Air Date: 10/25/82
Written by: Alan Alda and Karen Hall
Directed by: Susan Oliver
With the threat of a Chinese invasion, the Army has moved the nurses out of the 4077th, leaving just the men. This quickly turns the place into a shambles--the place is a mess, equipment is lying all over the place, and the doctors are left with people like the hapless Igor to assist them in surgery.
Luckily for them, the Chinese have retreated, and the nurses are brought back, where they are treated like returning heroes. Everyone is happy, except for Margaret, who is furious when she learns that she and the nursing staff are expecting an inspection from the dreaded Col. Buckholtz in just five days.
Margaret rounds up the nurses--taking them away from their welcome home party--and heads into the OR. They are shocked speechless by the shambles left behind by the men, and Margaret barges into Potter's tent and demands to know how this could've happened.
The next day, the doctors have been drafted to help out, but they aren't much help. Hawkeye in particular is focused on trying to romance a nurse, seemingly any nurse that will respond to his come-on line. He's rejected by several of them, but is oblivious when Nurse Kellye hints that his line would work on her.
That night, the welcome home party is kicked off, and all of the nurses go except for Kellye, who glumly volunteers to finish up some last details. She even finishes the one task Hawkeye was assigned--to fix the Autoclave.
Later, in the O Club, Hawkeye tries putting the moves on various nurses, but still gets nowhere. Kellye is there, and she asks Hawkeye to dance, which he accepts. They dance the Lindy, but when it ends and a slow song comes on, Hawkeye awkwardly walks away, asking instead to buy Kellye a drink.
At the bar, they begin to talk, but within a few moments Hawkeye gets distracted by a nearby nurse, completely ignoring Kellye--so much so she wanders out of the O Club without him even noticing.
The next day, Col. Buckholtz (Peggy Feury) arrives, driving Margaret crazy with her stern and exacting manner. As good and sharp as Margaret is, its still not quite good enough for Buckholtz.
Hawkeye makes a joke about Buckholtz's manner, but Kellye snaps at him to be quiet. B.J. makes a similar joke, which Kellye responds to. Hawkeye notices this, and asks what the problem is.
They go out into Klinger's office and have it out--Kellye tells Hawkeye how hurt she is by his inattention, and how that over the years he's never taken notice of her, just because "I'm not 5 foot 9 with long blond hair and a nose you could fit into a bottlecap!"
Hawkeye, stunned, apologizes, but its clear Kellye is very hurt. Margaret--afraid Buckholtz will overhear the tumult--breaks it up, ordering Kellye to go with Buckholtz's aid (Gary Grubs) to inspect the supplies.
In the Mess Tent, Margaret sits with B.J. and Winchester, complaining about Buckholtz. B.J. and Winchester are sympathetic, but point out that what Buckholtz does to Margaret, Margaret does to the nurses, and look how that makes her feel. Margaret objects, but changes her mind when she overhears two nurses complaining about Buckholtz, saying, "She's almost as bad as Houlihan!"
In Post Op, Hawkeye watches as Kellye cares for a dying solider, holding his hand and being with him during his last few moments, putting him at ease. By the time he does, Kellye's eyes are filled with tears.
Later, Hawkeye visits the Nurses Tent, flowers in hand. Kellye assumes that whoever Hawkeye is there for, "she's not here."
Hawkeye says he's there to see her, and he apologizes, saying she was right--he never did really see her, even though they've worked together for so long. She thanks him, but can't ask him in, because--she's on a date with Buckholtz's aid, Lt. Geyer!
Margaret runs into one of her nurses who is working late into the night, correcting things pointed out by Buckholtz. Margaret tells her to forget all that, and take the rest of the night off.
Days later, Margaret finds out she passed the inspection, and has a drink to celebrate. Hawkeye puts on a slow song on the jukebox, then walks over to Kellye. He silently points to her cheek, then to his, and they get up and dance together.
Fun Facts: What an extraordinary opportunity this must have been for actress Kellye Nakahara--its almost unprecedented for a show to take a longtime supporting character and give them such a showcase. And Ms. Nakahara makes the most of it, delivering a great performance.
This is the first episode of the Eleventh, and final, season.
Favorite Line: After Hawkeye awkwardly refuses to dance a slow dance with Kellye, he offers her a drink instead.
She says, "Oh, I don't know, I'm a big drinker--something light." The bartender asks, "Want another Scotch on the Rocks?", to which Kellye tersely responds: "That'll be fine."
Season 10, Episode 224: Follies of the Living - Concerns of the Dead
Original Air Date: 1/4/82
Written by: Alan Alda
Directed by: Alan Alda
Klinger comes down with a mysterious illness, causing him to have a very high temperature and even fits of delirium. All the doctors are working on it, but none of them can quite seem to figure out what's wrong.
In the meantime, wounded arrive, and one of those brought in is DOA--a young man named Weston. As Weston body is put off to the side, we see what can only be called Weston's ghost rise up from it.
Klinger is somehow able to see Weston, and communicate with him, but of course no one else can. Is Weston even there, or is a figment of Klinger's fevered imagination?
We follow Weston as he wanders through the camp, watching everyone else deal with their petty problems--Hawkeye and Winchester argue over which nail each of them gets to hang their clothes on in the Scrub Room, B.J. and Margaret squabble over which fork B.J. likes to use in the Mess Tent, etc.
Weston can't quite accept he's dead, because he says he "doesn't feel dead." He gets upset when he sees his friend Hicks shed tears over his death, uncomfortable over Hick's glossing over all of his faults, just because he's dead. He watches B.J. and Father Mulcahy go through this personal effects, like his wallet, which he fondly recalls getting for the first time.
While watching Hawkeye, B.J., and Winchester get drunk, Weston starts to feel different--he says that it starts to look like "everyone is made up of little dots."
Finally, Weston walks across the compound, and we hear random snippets of conversations taking place all over the 4077th--some of them serious, some of them silly.
On a road outside the camp, Weston is greeted by another soldier who is also dead. He points down the road, partially covered in fog, and they walk down it together, along with some other recently dead. They continue walking until they're out of sight.
The next day, Klinger wakes up, his fever having broken. Everyone is happy to see him better, and he asks about Weston--"Where is he? Did he get what he wanted?"
No one knows what Klinger is talking about, and as the rest of them argue over whose shift it is in Post Op, he's left to lay back in bed, pondering what exactly happened.
Fun Facts: Definitely one of M*A*S*H's most audacious episodes--when you think about it, here's a show that presumably exists in the real world, the world of you and I. And yet here it is, telling us there are, in fact, ghosts, and at least some form of afterlife. Pretty heady stuff.
For most of the episode, you could chalk up all the Weston scenes to Klinger's feverish imagination, brought on by his illness. But the final scene with Weston takes place after Klinger has gotten better, so you know that its not a figment of Klinger's imagination.
One of Klinger's feverish, non-sensical ramblings is "A mouse has four paws, but he doesn't wear a belt." Tracy and I use that all the time, when we're talking about someone or some thing that's a non-sequitur.
There's a brief scene in OR where Hawkeye and Winchester are working together on a patient. For once, there's no jokes or insults, just the two of them working together. You get a really good sense of what a crackerjack team the 4077 doctors are, since even two people as different as Hawkeye and Winchester work together flawlessly.
Favorite Line: When Weston meets up with another dead solider, they walk together to some unknown destination (Heaven?). Weston asks his traveling companion "What did you think it would be like?", to which the young man answers, "I didn't know."
Then Weston waits a beat, and asks, "Where are we going?" The young man answers, with a short of shrug: "I don't know."
There's something about the delivery of that final line that sends shivers down my spine whenever I hear it. You like to think that these dead people are heading to some form of Heaven, but we don't know where they're going...and neither do they (There's one slightly ominous line, where the young man points to the road, and says they have to go "down there"--I hope that's meant to be just a commonly-used term for the road itself).
Major credit to actor Jeff Tyler, who plays the young man, for doing so much with just a couple lines of dialog.
Season 9, Episode 214: The Life You Save
Original Air Date: 5/4/81
Written by: John Rappaport & Alan Alda
Directed by: Alan Alda
A batch of wounded arrive late at night, and everyone is out on the compound doing triage. But there's more trouble when bullets start flying, courtesy a sniper!
As he fires away, B.J. and Winchester work on a patient underneath the Evac Bus. The patient technically dies for a few moments, but B.J. and Winchester manage to bring him back.
After the sniper is shot by a nearby control, Hawkeye, B.J., and Winchester are in Post Op. B.J. tells Hawkeye what happened, and Winchester notices a bullethole in his cap--he came within centimeters of taking a bullet in the head, and never realized it. As Hawkeye and B.J. talk, Winchester sits there, stunned.
Col. Potter comes in and assigns everyone a set of rotating, mundane camp duties--Hawkeye is now in charge of the food, B.J. the laundry, Winchester the motor pool, etc.
Later, Winchester starts spending an inordinate amount of time with the patient that came back from the dead, sitting with him in Post Op for long periods of time. When the young man wakes up, Winchester peppers him with questions about what it was like for him to be actually "dead."
The young man really can't answer, despite Winchester's pleadings. He reveals that he had a younger brother who passed away, and for a long time afterwards he couldn't pass by the young boy's room without feeling a deep sense of unease.
B.J. finds Winchester hovering over the young man, and takes him outside, demanding he leave the young man alone. Winchester accuses B.J. of not wanting to deal with "The harshest reality of all."
Winchester, still haunted by what happened, has Rizzo take apart a jeep, and lay each and every part of it on a sheet. Winchester marvels at the power Rizzo has to reduce a jeep to a pile of inert junk, and then put it all together again and have it "Roar back to life."
Later that night, Winchester (via an off-hand suggestion by Margaret) decides to head off to Battalion Aid, to better see death up close.
He ends up taking care of a young soldier(Andrew Parks) who is gravely wounded. While laying there, the young man, not able to feel Winchester holding his hand, realizes he's going to die.
Winchester asks the young man, in his last moments, what he's feeling. He answers, not to anyone in particular, "I smell bread." Winchester doesn't understand, and tries to get him to talk more. But the young soldier passes away.
Winchester, wiping tears from his eyes, leaves to go back to the 4077th, leaving his bullet-ridden cap behind.
Fun Facts: There's a scene with Father Mulcahy, Hawkeye, and a giant wall of garbage, and its very funny--the massive pile of food, bandages, cardboard, and other detritus being one of the show's best props.
Winchester's speech at the motor pool is presented via one of the show's more ambitious shots--the camera starts at eye level, but then slowly pans up, and up, until its about twenty feet in the air, hovering over the set as David Ogden Stiers finishes his speech.
Speaking of Winchester, the scene with him and the young soldier is brutal in a number of ways. Winchester, in a very real way, is using this young man's final moments for his own satisfaction, an indescribably selfish act--of all the moments of one's life, its this time, above all others, that should be yours, and yours alone.
Also, props to actor Andrew Young for pulling off a really tough part--playing someone in full realization they have but a few moments left to live.
This is the last episode of the ninth season.
Favorite Line: Potter complains to B.J. that, under his authority, the laundry has gone kerflooey. He holds up a pair of leopard print, super-tight underpants, suggesting they be returned to the "passion flower" who owns them.
Margaret, silently, grabs them out of his hand and stuffs them in her pocket. Potter, slightly stunned, mutters in disbelief, "...no kidding."
Season 8, Episode 191: Dreams
Original Air Date: 2/18/80
Written by: Alan Alda and James Rubinfier
Directed by: Alan Alda
The 4077th is hit by the biggest batch of wounded they've ever seen, driving everyone in camp to the point of complete exhaustion.
No one has time to sleep any more than an hour or two at a time, and we get to see some of the bizarre, sad, and even nightmarish dreams they have.
Margaret dreams of herself on her wedding night, in a passionate embrace with her groom. But then a line of soldiers march by, and her husband leaves her, marching off. Her bed is then filled with bloody, wounded soldiers, reaching out to her for help. We last see her standing in a field, her wedding dress stained with blood, as she stands there looking stunned.
B.J, catching a nap during a break from surgery, dreams of his wife Peg (Catherine Bergstrom). They are dancing at a fancy party, and stroll their way into the OR. Col. Potter interrupts them, asking B.J. to perform an operation. He does, ignoring Peg. She stands there for a moment or two, and then walks off.
Potter falls asleep in his office, and his dreams starts with a horse wandering in. Potter, now dressed in his WWI uniform, climbs aboard, playing polo with a live grenade. As the grenade explodes into fireworks, Potter then stumbles across his boyhood home, and sees himself riding a horse, hearing the sound of his mother calling him to dinner.
Winchester dreams of himself as a magician, performing tricks and entertaining the other members of the camp. A patient is wheeled out, and Winchester tries greater and greater tricks. But the patient gets worse, leading Winchester to try more and more, to no avail. He's finally left tap dancing and twirling sparklers. He wakes up from this, sweating profusely, muttering, "Damn."
The recovering patients are piling up so much that all the beds in Post Op are turned into bunk beds, and Father Mulcahy takes a moment to hear one patient's confession.
But he's so exhausted he falls asleep, the patient's confession turning into gibberish. Mulcahy dreams of himself dressed in flowing, glowing robes, and he is welcome to his pulpit like the Pope. He begins to speak to his flock, when suddenly drops of blood splatter his Bible. He looks up, and what was a statue of Jesus is now a bleeding soldier, and the pews full of parishoners is now an OR.
Klinger dreams of himself back in Toledo, where he wanders windy, desolate, empty streets. He stops at Tony Paco's, where inside is an OR. There he sees Potter, calling him inside. On Potter's operating table is...Klinger himself. Klinger is happy to be awakened from this dream by Kellye, who tells him Potter wants him to patch through a call.
Potter gets a wounded general to make a call to a nebbishy private, who refuses to send ambulances to pick up the wounded. After being threatened, the private relents, meaning the 4077th will finally be getting some relief.
With the crisis over, everyone meets up in the Mess Tent. Hawkeye is so exhausted he falls asleep at the table, and he dreams he's back in med school. He has fallen asleep, and his professor takes it out on him by removing Hawkeye's arm (in this instance, a mannequin arm) and tossing it into a river.
When the professor asks Hawkeye what the procedure is to reattach a limb, he can't answer, apologizing for being asleep. The professor responds by removing Hawkeye's other arm, also tossing it into a river. Hawkeye then finds himself, armless, in a boat filled with severed limbs.
He spots a bleeding little girl, and is helpless. He then finds himself in front of an operating table, where a nurse hands him a scalpel. Helpless, he screams into the heavens, waking himself up. Now awake, he sees there are more wounded arriving, and he heads out of the tent.
Later, everyone is back in the Mess Tent. They all plan to go back to their tents and sleep, but when Winchester absent-mindedly quotes, "Ah, sleep...perchance to dream", everyone sits back down for another cup of coffee.
Fun Facts: This is a great, format-busting episode: an idea that could've easily fallen flat on its face but doesn't.
That said, I've always felt this episode was a bit of a lost opportunity: since this episode consists of dream sequences, wouldn't it have been amazing to see Wayne Rogers, McLean Stevenson, or Larry Linville return to the show, just this one time? In particular, I could picture Margaret's dream involving Frank in some way.
This is the first time we got to see Peg. She has no dialogue in this episode, but she will when she returns for another episode.
I thought it was interesting that, out of all of them, only Potter's dream is not nightmarish or scary.
In Suzy Kalter's The Complete Book of M*A*S*H (1984), her write-up of this episode features this still:...no such scene exists in this episode, as Hawkeye makes no appearance in Margaret's dream.
Over 251 episodes, there must have been at least a few choice "deleted scenes"--too bad they were not included on any of the M*A*S*H DVDs.
Favorite Line: The young soldier confessing to Mulcahy has to speak gibberish to show how Mulcahy isn't really hearing him, and its all nonsensical stuff, except for one part where he says: "But fringes are gerbel, you know?"
Season 8, Episode 189: Lend A Hand
Original Air Date: 2/4/80
Written by: Alan Alda
Directed by: Alan Alda
Everyone's cold and bored at the 4077th, which leads to crankiness. When a bunch of people ask Hawkeye strange questions about his favorite this or that, he finds out that B.J. told them all that Hawkeye's birthday is coming up--just to give them all something to distract themselves with. Hawkeye isn't amused.
But the boredom is broken when they get a visitor, Dr. Anthony Borelli (Robert Alda), who was previously visited the camp a year or two earlier. He's at the 4077th to show the doctors some new surgical techniques, including a graft procedure.
Borelli tends to be a bit pushy, especially Hawkeye, insisting he knows the best way to do nearly everything, from where Hawkeye should sit and what he should drink.
The next day, Borelli is about to start his lecture (after telling everyone where they should sit) when a call comes in from an aid station about a patient that needs major surgery immediately. Potter agrees to send someone, and Hawkeye offers to go, thankful to escape his impending birthday party. In the process, he throws B.J. under the buys by letting it "slip" that its B.J.'s anniversary.
At the aid station, Hawkeye and Borelli immediately start to argue about the best way to approach the operation. Borelli thinks he should start with the chest, but Hawkeye insists the man's collapsed lung is the most important.
The argument spills over to how Hawkeye washes his hands, which leads the medic (Antony Alda) to break it up and wonder what the problem is. They ease down, but it flares up again when Borelli suggests to Hawkeye that the patient will need the kind of graft he was there to talk about.
Bombs start to fall right outside, one of them landing close enough that part of the roof caves in on them. It leaves Hawkeye with a sprained wrist and Borelli with a broken arm...now what?
With no other options, Hawkeye and Borelli are forced to work together, literally leaning on one another to complete the surgery. Later, they bring the patient back to the 4077th, and they perform the new graft procedure, which is a complete success.
Fun Facts: This is a sequel episode, a follow up to the Third Season show "The Consultant."
This episode features another installment of The Young Sherman Potter Chronicles: in this episode, he tells a story about a time in WWI when it got so cold all the tanks froze shut and they had to feed the guys inside through the cannons.
This episode features an Alda Family triumverate--Alan, Robert, and Antony.
Favorite Line: Winchester and Klinger have an argument over Klinger's misspelling of the message "Happy Birthhday" on Hawkeye's cake, adding an extra H. Father Mulchay wanders in, and Winchester drops a hint: "What do you think of the cake, Father Mulcahahy?"
Season 8, Episode 180: Life Time
Original Air Date: 11/26/79
Written by: Alan Alda and Dr. Walter D. Dishell, M.D.
Directed by: Alan Alda
Wounded arrive, and one of them is a young man named George. He has a severe injury to his aorta, so severe that Hawkeye has to reach into chest--right there on the chopper pad--to pinch it off to stop the bleeding.
As if that's not difficult enough, having the aorta pinched off in this way is cutting off blood to George's spinal column. If that goes on longer than 20 minutes, he'll end up paralyzed.
As they load the young man onto a jeep headed for the O.R., a small clock appears on the screen, keeping real time as it passes.
B.J. and Margaret help Hawkeye, and he asks Klinger to round up as much ice as possible--thinking Hypothermia might buy them some time.
Another wounded soldier, named Harold, has a traumatic brain injury, and its clear he's going to die. While frustrated over not being able to do anything, B.J. gets the idea that perhaps, once he does die, they can take a piece of his aorta and give it to Hawkeye's patient--the only problem is, Harold could stay alive for hours.
While Father Mulcahy makes a run to the chopper for some much-needed blood, he asks his Lord, "If you're going to take him anyway, please take him quickly, so we can save the other boy."
After precious minutes go by, Hawkeye commits himself and removes the damaged part of George's aorta, in the expectation he's going to get a viable graft. Winchester questions this, but finally agrees when he sees for himself that George's aorta is so damaged it can't be repaired.
But eventually, the other young soldier, Harold, dies, and B.J. gets the graft, running it into the O.R. immediately. Hawkeye puts it in, but of course its not that easy--he wants to get blood pumping to the spinal cord, so he has to try and stitch it while the blood is coursing through it. We see some of that blood as it spurts up, out of the chest cavity.
When the surgery is over, they check their time: unfortunately, they're three and a half minutes over. Hawkeye is enraged, thinking they've all but certainly paralyzed the young man for life. B.J. tries to offer some hope, suggesting that the Hypothermia may have bought them some time.
Later that day, in Post Op, George starts to wake up. They yell in his ear, trying to get him to wake up. They uncover his feet, and run a pencil along the bottom of them, to see if they can move.
After a few seconds, they see them move, proving the young man isn't paralyzed, after all. Hawkeye, B.J., and Margaret squeal with glee, delighted all their extraordinary efforts have paid off.
Fun Facts: Another format-busting episode, since it is told in real time. Since there is no "B" plot, this works really well, and is directed with a crisp sense of urgency by Alda.
This episode was co-written by Dr. Walter Dishell, the show's long time medical consultant.
The scene with Father Mulcahy praying is really interesting--it looks like the camera was planted on the hood of the jeep, and so we see Mulcahy climb in, start the engine, and drive through the compound, all in one unbroken shot.
They make a big deal of Winchester having the right blood type to donate to George. That's fine, but the show already established (in Season Seven's "C*A*V*E"), that Winchester, Klinger, and Mulcahy all share the same blood type, so why not ask them?
Favorite Line: Nurse Kellye shows Hawkeye what aortic graphs they have on hand, but Hawkeye rejects them: "No, these are too small."
Kellye argues, pointing to one of them: "Well, this one's pretty big."
Hawkeye: "No, that's no bigger than a piece of spagatini. We need rigatoni."
Kellye: "Rigatoni? Doctor, I'm part Chinese and part Hawaiian. Can you put that in ethnic measurements I can understand?"
Hawkeye: "A small eggroll."
Kellye: "That I understand. We don't have any that big."
Season 7, Episode 169: The Party
Original Air Date: 3/12/78
Written by: Alan Alda and Burt Metcalfe
Directed by: Burt Metcalfe
After a long session in OR, B.J. reads a letter from Peg where she mentions her difficulties making some preserves.
Radar mentions that his mother has a good recipe for them, as does Mildred Potter. B.J. offers to round up the advice of Mrs. Potter and Mother O'Reilly, but Potter has a better idea: why not have Mildred write Peg directly?
Back at the Swamp, B.J. gets the idea to have a party back in the states, featuring the family members of the everyone at the 4077th. This energizes him, and its all he can talk about, even during a bug out after I-Corps tells them that the Chinese army is headed their way.
He tries to get Hawkeye, Margaret, Winchester, and Klinger to participate too, but they all seem skeptical, for various reasons.
By the time they arrive at the new location for the 4077th, B.J. is demoralized--the party seems like its not going to happen, and a patient of his might be permanently paralyzed due to the unexpected trip.
The next morning, Hawkeye sits down with everyone and tells them how much this party means to B.J., and insists they all write their relatives and ask them about the party.
A couple of weeks pass, and just as the mail starts arriving again, Gen. Embry calls and says the 4077th is bugging out again, and they have to back to their original location.
On the ride back, everyone opens up mail from their relatives about the party. To everyone's shock and/or delight, they all plan on attending--the Klingers, the Winchesters, the Houlihans, and Dr. Pierce--everyone!
B.J. is over the moon excited about the party, the only problem is finding a date that will work for everyone. After date after date getting rejected for one reason after another, they finally settle on March 28th.
They pose for a picture out on the compound in front of the signpost, but Klinger has a problem: his mother doesn't know he's in Korea! He reveals that since his mother doesn't speak English, everyone else has kept Klinger's secret for fear that she would worry every day he was going to die. B.J. finds a way around it--see above picture.
A week or so after the party, during a session in OR, Radar reads a letter from Peg about the party. Everyone got along amazingly well: Margaret's parents (who are going through a separation) spent the whole evening dancing together, Mrs. Potter and Mr. Pierce took a real shine to one another, Klinger's mother revealed she always knew her son was in Korea, but didn't let on because she didn't want him to worry about her.
The biggest news is that the Winchesters took to the O'Reillys, so much so that they invited them to their home in Cape Cod during Radar's first summer back after the war!
After OR, B.J. is all smiles after hearing how well the party went. Radar comes in, eager to discuss his potential visit with the Winchesters. Winchester himself says Radar can bring anyone or anything he would like--even his goat--because he plans to turn himself over to the Chinese.
Fun Facts: The final episode of the seventh season.
I wonder how some of the other members of the 4077th, like Nurse Bigelow, Nurse Kellye, and Sgt. Zale felt not being asked to participate in the get together?
The sequence featuring all the different trucks, carrying different members of the cast, is a lot of fun. I love Potter's response to looking at Klinger's letter, which is all in Arabic: "Oh...sure is a pretty-looking language!"
Favorite Line: Klinger isn't sure about inviting his family to the party, since most of his family don't speak English. B.J. asks isn't anyone in his family bi-lingual?
Klinger says his Uncle Abdul does, and B.J. says: "Well, invite him along! He can translate for the Winchesters, too."
Season 7, Episode 160: Inga
Original Air Date: 1/8/79
Written by: Alan Alda
Directed by: Alan Alda
Hawkeye is excited over the news that a visiting Swedish doctor named Inga Halvorsen will be arriving that night. In the showers, he tells B.J. and Winchester that he is sure he will be irresistible to "In-ga", which he says lustily.
Dr. Halvorsen (Mariette Hartley) arrives, and Hawkeye is at his most flirty, escorting her to the V.I.P. Tent, carrying her suitcase. Winchester tries to horn in, but he goofs when he makes a crack about how "lumpy" older Swedish women can get. Realizing he's made a horrible faux pas, he excuses himself, leaving Hawkeye and Inga to laugh collectively.
Hawkeye and Inga meet at the Swamp, and Hawkeye thinks its a date. Inga is there to talk medicine, which disappoints him. He blows out the candle he lit, turns off the romantic music, and his tone is one of frustration.
The next day, in OR, Inga shows herself to be an excellent surgeon, showing Hawkeye and the others a procedure that none of them have seen before.
Later, in the Mess Tent, Winchester pokes and prods Hawkeye, insisting that he was put off by Inga taking over for him. At first he says that's ridiculous, but after a little more prodding by Winchester, Hawkeye vents about how he didn't like how Inga took over, not that she did it.
That enrages Margaret, and their argument spills out of the tent. Hawkeye thinks Margaret is jealous--which seems like a reach, to say the least--but Margaret is mad that Hawkeye seems to only judge women by one standard, and meeting a woman his surgical equal is something he can't handle.
Later, in the Swamp, Inga shows up to apologize, but Hawkeye tells her that's not necessary. She even starts to respond to Hawkeye's advances the night before, kissing him, and leaning him back on his bunk.
Hawkeye, thrown off by her aggressiveness, stupidly asks, "When you dance, who leads?"
This kills the mood, and Inga, hurt, leaves. Hawkeye marvels at his own idiocy: "I did it again, I did it again!"
This kicks off a sort of philosophical argument about men and women in the camp. Klinger expresses support for Hawkeye, but B.J. and Potter try and show Hawkeye that being in an equal partnership with women is the way to go.
In Post Op, a patient of Winchester's has a severe allergic reaction to some medication, and he thinks the solution is a tracheotomy. Inga happens to be there, and suggests another, less intrusive way. Winchester argues with her, but when Inga's method turns out to be effective, Winchester is miffed. He sarcastically thanks her for correcting him, and walks out.
Hawkeye, B.J., and Winchester talk about it in the Swamp, and Winchester is furious at her, calling her "pushy." Hawkeye, listening to all this, realizes what an ass he himself has been, and goes to Inga's tent to apologize.
He finds Inga upset over what happened, hurt over the idea she was supposed to let a patient suffer just over protocol. Hawkeye reassures her she did the right thing.
Hawkeye notices the music Inga has on, and Inga suggests they dance to it. Inga has to teach Hawkeye the dance, meaning she has to lead. It takes Hawkeye a few tries to get it right, but he finally relaxes and lets Inga lead. The dance ends in a passionate embrace and a kiss.
The P.A. announces incoming wounded, and Hawkeye suggests picking up where they left off. But Inga says she has to report to another unit in a few hours, meaning this is their last private moment together. Hawkeye is frustrated at his own stupidity, but Inga reassures him, and suggests she'd like to see him some day, after the war is over.
Hawkeye agrees, and they both walk out together, prepared to go to work as equal partners.
Fun Facts: Margaret's speech about how undesirable Hawkeye is seems a little thin here, considering that she slept with him!
Favorite Line: Hawkeye, on his "date" with Inga, gives her a glass of what he calls wine. She sips it, and marvels, "I love wine...what is this?"
Season 7, Episode 158: Dear Sis
Original Air Date: 12/18/78
Written by: Alan Alda
Directed by: Alan Alda
Father Mulcahy is writing a letter home to his sister, and he's bemoaning his relative lack of usefulness at the 4077th. He tries to help out with an ornery patient in OR, but instead of being able to talk him down, it requires Margaret to shoot the patient with a sedative, leaving Mulcahy to feel like he didn't help much.
Later, Radar asks him to say a prayer for their pregnant sow over the phone, which he agrees to. But before he can finish, the sow goes into labor, requiring the advice of Winchester, who is waiting to use the phone to call his sister. Again, Mulcahy feels useless.
He admits no one comes for confession, or even just to chat. Serving as bartender, he tries to comfort those drowning their sorrows with booze over being stuck in Korea over Christmas, but he keeps getting interrupted, never getting to finish a thought.
Later, wounded arrive, and one lightly-wounded patient is short-tempered and combative. When Margaret tries to check his wound, he pushes her off, insisting he see a doctor. Mulcahy tries to help, but the soldier angrily pushes him away, too, onto the ground. Mulcahy pauses for a moment, rears back, and belts the young man, so hard in the jaw he knocks him out of his stretcher. Mulcahy can't believe what he's done.
In Post Op, he tries to apologize, but the soldier is an even bigger jerk, ridiculing Mulcahy, asking where was he ordained: "Stillman's Gym?"
Mulcahy is devastated. He goes outside to cry, and Hawkeye follows him out and tries to comfort him. Mulcahy admits it isn't just the punch--its that he feels useless at the 4077th.
Hawkeye, B.J, Margaret, and Potter "celebrate" Christmas in his office. Potter has a stiff upper lip, but his three younger friends are miserable. Potter tries to cheer them up, taking them all to the "traditional turkey dinner" the cook has prepared in the Mess Tent.
They all cheer up at the prospect, but their enthusiasm is quickly dimmed when they got a load of the meal--turkey on shingles with cranberry sausage--which Potter can't even bring himself to eat.
Christmas presents are dispensed by Capt. "Santa" Hunnicutt, and Winchester is surprised to learn that there's one for him: his old childhood toboggan hat, which makes Winchester's eyes tear up with nostalgia. He thanks Radar, who admits the whole thing was Father Mulcahy's idea.
Winchester tearfully thanks Mulcahy, saying he's a credit to "Your kind of person", the most effusive praise he can muster.
There's also a present for Mulcahy: Hawkeye leads everyone in a toast to Mulcahy, thanking him for his simple decency and kindness. He also has everyone sing "Dona Nobis Pacem"--"Give Us Peace."
It starts to snow, making the 4077th almost look pretty. Unfortunately, wounded arrive, breaking up the festive mood.
Everyone goes to work, and Mulcahy ends the letter to his sister with "It doesn't matter if you feel useful going from one disaster to another--the trick I guess is to just keep moving."
Fun Facts: Another episode in the "Dear..." format; this time it's Father Mulcahy's turn. The final shot of the show--Mulcahy moving briskly in the darkness--is beautifully composed.
There's a scene in OR where Potter and Margaret seem sort of rude to Mulcahy, which is a bit out of character, especially for Potter. So much so, it makes me think that this episode--or that scene at least--is being told from Mulcahy's point of view, not necessarily relating how it really happened.
Favorite Line: Potter, recalling another Christmas at war: "I remember one Christmas in the Black Forest: the company horse died and the cook tried to pass him off as dark meat. I cried all through dinner."
Season 6, Episode 133: Comrades in Arms, Part 2
Original Air Date: 12/13/77
Written by: Alan Alda
Directed by: Alan Alda and Burt Metcalfe
The morning after the night before, Hawkeye and Margaret wake up in their beat-up tent.
Hawkeye is a little nervous, made worse when he sees that Margaret seems to think this is the beginning of a long-term relationship, and the natural evolution of their time together at the 4077th. She even reveals, deep down, she would laugh sometimes when Hawkeye would get "a real good one" off on Frank!
A wounded North Korean solider arrives in the hut, but they can't leave because Hawkeye's wounded leg has stiffened up over night. They hide under some debris, long enough for the solider to stagger in, look around, and fall over--he's seriously wounded, and was using his last few moments of consciousness to scrounge for food. He passes out.
As Hawkeye works on him, Margaret hears a chopper outside. She runs outside and sees one of theirs, a chopper flown by pilot Aylesworth (Doug Rowe) with B.J. as a passenger. She tries to flag them down, but they don't see her.
They do see Hawkeye and Margaret's lost jeep, but when they get shot at by the jeep's North Korean thieves, they head back to the 4077th. When they arrive, Potter is furious they went up without permission, but he's mollified when B.J. tells him he thinks they saw where Hawkeye and Margaret might be. Potter says that now that the 8063rd is back where its supposed to be, they can finally send out a search party.
Another day passes, and Hawkeye and Margaret are stuck sitting under one parka as rain pours down on them, reading a map by flashlight. They are discovered by a member of the 8063rd, which overjoys Hawkeye, leaving Margaret furious, now that its dawned on her that Hawkeye isn't interested in having a relationship with her.
Back at the 8063rd, they perform the surgery they were sent there for. The surgery goes well, but the tension is thick when its obvious to everyone in the room that these two visitors aren't getting along. You can hear the painful slap of the instruments as Margaret thrusts them into Hawkeye's hand.
At the 4077th, B.J., Potter, Winchester, and Father Mulcahy have a drink to celebrate the imminent return of Hawkeye and Margaret. They wonder at how difficult it must have been for the two of them, since they're so different. But its Father Mulcahy, via some innocently-intended comments, that puts the idea in everyone's heads that maybe they turned to each other for..."comfort."
A few hours later, Hawkeye and Margaret do return home, to a party in their honor. After receiving some gifts, Hawkeye profusely thanks everyone for "really saving" his skin, so profusely that a boiling Margaret slaps him across the face and storms out.
Later that night, Hawkeye visits Margaret in her tent to talk. At first she completely denies anything happened, but then she softens a bit and owns up to what happened, but in terms so stiff Hawkeye says he'll "have a lawyer draw up a contract."
Margaret gets the point and levels with Hawkeye, by reading him a letter she's "accidentally" sending to Donald Penobscott, thanking the non-existent "Hank" for an amazing, tender night in that abandoned hut.
Hawkeye and Margaret own up to the idea that nothing more will come of this since they're so different, but they both admit they shared something together, and they're relationship--as friends--will be different, better, from now on.
Fun Facts: Radar does not appear in this episode.
This idea--of Hawkeye and Margaret getting together--never quite worked for me, and I think I can point to this second part as being the reason why. As soon as sleeps with Hawkeye, Margaret becomes clingy and immediately starts going on about a long-term relationship, something I just can't picture the fiercely-independent Major Margaret Houlihan doing. This is a woman who slept with half the Generals in the Asian Theater of Operations, and she's going to get all goopy over Hawkeye?
There's a great scene in the Swamp where Hawkeye tells B.J. what happened, and asks for advice. Its a great flip-side to the scene in Season Five's "Hanky Panky", and B.J. shows some clear-eyed understanding of Hawkeye, and giving it to him straight.
Favorite Line: Without Hawkeye and Margaret, the 4077th is overloaded with wounded. When they realize how far behind they've fallen, Potter admonishes Winchester to "shake a leg."
Winchester curtly repiles something to the effect of, "When I'm done, I am done."
Potter sighs and says, "Sorry I asked."
Winchester, gutsily, says barely under his breath, "That's...what I had in mind."
A great line, a nice piece of characterization, made even better that we see that Potter heard it! What must have been going through his mind at that moment...
Season 6, Episode 132: Comrades in Arms, Part 1
Original Air Date: 12/6/77
Written by: Alan Alda
Directed by: Burt Metcalfe and Alan Alda
Col. Potter tells his doctors that the 8063rd wants to see a demonstration of the 4077th's arterial transplant procedure, and since it was Hawkeye who first performed it, he's assigned to go.
Hawkeye also gets to pick a nurse to go with him, but Margaret picks herself, to keep Hawkeye from treating the nursing staff "like a harem."
Just before they leave, Margaret gets a letter from Donald Penobscott, which seems to upset her greatly. She's surly and short-tempered during the whole trip to the 8063rd, and she has no time for Hawkeye's joking around.
Things get even worse when they arrive at the 8063rd, only to find they have bugged out! The Chinese and the North Koreans started getting too close, so the whole camp packed up and left before they had a chance to call the 4077th and tell them not to send Hawkeye and Margaret.
On the way back home, bombs start to fall, and they get thrown off their course. Then the jeep breaks down, and Margaret is aghast that Hawkeye has no idea how to fix it.
They hide in the brush when they hear some North Koreans approaching, and watch helplessly as the four soldiers fix the jeep, get it going, and drive off.
Lost in enemy territory, Hawkeye and Margaret wander around and find a small, abandoned hut. Margaret is temporarily impressed when Hawkeye explains the logic of staying in the hut using actual military protocol, which he chalks up to having seen the movie Abbott & Costello Meet Hitler.
More bombs start to fall, causing part of the hut to collapse. Hawkeye takes a piece of sharp wood in the back of his leg, and he screams like a baby as Margaret removes it.
Back at the 4077th, Potter and B.J. are trying desperately to get some of the higher-ups to send out some search planes to look for Hawkeye and Margaret, but due to a combination of stupidity and incompetence, it takes forever just to get some of the brass on the phone.
Hours pass, and night falls, leaving Hawkeye and Margaret still stuck in their hut. They talk, and Margaret reveals what's upsetting her: the letter from her husband was written--and meant for--another woman named Darlene. Its gentle and romantic, and top of that it mentions Margaret as "a hard worker" and "sturdy", underscoring just how little she means to her husband.
Hawkeye tries to comfort her, but Margaret insists she's fine (although she does down most of Hawkeye'e expensive Japanese scotch, which he brought along).
They go to sleep on other sides of the tent, but in the middle of the night bombs start to fall again. Margaret breaks into hysterical panic, and Hawkeye tries to calm her down. They embrace, look into each other's eyes...and share a passionate kiss.
To be continued!
Fun Facts: This is M*A*S*H's first two-part episode, as opposed to their previous one-hour shows.
Margaret, when selecting herself to go with Hawkeye, adds, "If you remember, Captain, I assisted you when Dr. Borelli taught you that operation", a reference, of course, to the Third Season episode "The Consultant."
I like how off-handed that reference is--usually TV shows are so scared of mentioning something all their viewers might not understand they contrive all sorts of ungainly dialog to explain the reference ("Betty, you're my sister. You of course remember that time when we both went to the zoo..."). Here, you have to have seen that episode to know who Dr. Borelli was. If not, well then too bad.
As a life-long Abbott & Costello fan, I would've loved to have seen an Abbott & Costello Meet Hitler movie!
Radar not appear in this episode.
Favorite Line: Hawkeye, less than thrilled about his assignment, says, "I'm not so sure I like this."
Potter adds, "And pick a nurse to go with you."
Hawkeye: "...I'm not so sure I hate it, either."
Season 6, Episode 127: In Love And War
Original Air Date: 11/1/77
Written by: Alan Alda
Directed by: Alan Alda
During triage, Hawkeye sees an unusual sight--an actual car--not a jeep, a car--drive onto the compound.
Inside it is a woman named Kyung Soon (Kieu Chinh), who talks with Col. Potter. Potter then asks Hawkeye to take care of the woman's passenger, a young child with a broken clavicle.
At first, Hawkeye is angry about being told who to treat, and in what order. He assumes this woman is a local countess and is using her influence to but ahead in line of wounded soldiers, which angers him.
Potter, irritated at Hawkeye's insolence, tells him basically to clam up. After consulting with her again, he says that since the load is light, Hawkeye should go with Kyung Soon to look after her mother, who is sick.
Hawkeye climbs in the car with her, and is nasty and rude. But his attitude changes when he gets to the "estate", and sees its nothing more than a bombed, burnt-out husk of a building, where Kyung Soon is taking care of several people, older people and young children, all of whom are displaced because of the war.
Hawkeye, impressed at Kyung's grit and dignity, quickly goes from skepticism to admiration, and then quickly develops a bit of a crush on her.
Despite a warning by Col. Potter that "war and romance don't mix", Hawkeye asks Kyung out on a date, which he manages to patch together.
Hawkeye falls hard for Kyung, and he spends every waking moment not on duty with her. While in O.R., he gets word Kyung's elderly mother has taken a turn for the worse, and he rushes to her side.
But its too late--Kyung's mother has died, leaving Hawkeye only able to comfort her in her grief.
During the funeral ceremony, Kyung reveals to Hawkeye that she plans to leave, and head further south. Without her elderly mother, they can travel, and try and get away from the brutality of war. With a number of young girls to look after, Kyung has to be coldly practical--she has sold her car, her phonograph, almost everything she has of value so they can travel as far away as possible. Hawkeye is hurt and angry, but Kyung says she has no choice.
Later, as she prepares to leave in an ox-cart, they say goodbye. They promise to write letter after letter, staying touch, but deep down they know they'll never see each other again. They embrace one last time, and with tears in his eyes, Hawkeye watches Kyung leave.
Hawkeye and Margaret (who has been dealing the news that a newly-transferred nurse had a fling with Donald Penobscott while she was stationed in Tokyo) drown their sorrows with booze in the Swamp, commiserating with each other over "how much this place stinks."
Fun Facts: An interesting episode that (to me) doesn't quite work, simply because its too short--I have a hard time believing Hawkeye would fall so hard so fast. Maybe they figured there wasn't enough story for a two-parter, but I think Hawkeye and Kyung's romance would have had more impact if it had had more time to breathe.
There's a B story about Margaret who thinks her husband has been fooling around back in Tokyo, maybe if they ditched that and gave the main story the whole episode?
(Although I admit, the syndicated version--which was the only version I saw until I bought the DVDs--makes the situation even worse, since all the scenes that were cut were the ones between Hawkeye and Kyung, making their courtship even briefer!)
Favorite Line: When Hawkeye realizes who this woman is, and why Potter insisted on Hawkeye go with her, he asks Potter, "Why didn't you tell me?"
Potter: "Because when you become a Colonel they remove the bone in your head that makes you explain orders."
Season 6, Episode 124: War of Nerves
Original Air Date: 10/11/77
Written by: Alan Alda
Directed by: Alan Alda
Wounded arrive, and one of them is...Sidney Freedman! Turns out Sidney was doing therapy in a fox hole with a patient, when a battle started. Sidney's wound needs to be attended to, but its not serious. He even feels well enough to help out in O.R.
Later in the Mess Tent, Sidney sees that tensions are starting to flare at the 4077th: Margaret and Winchester are in a heated debate about whether he touched his nose during surgery, Hawkeye and B.J.'s personal habits are getting on each other's nerves, and Radar and Klinger are mad at each other because Klinger insists on using Radar's teddy bear as part of yet another nutty scheme.
The arguments kick off even more squabbles, that get so out of control even Col. Potter can't calm them down. He walks out of the tent with Sidney, and he asks if Sidney will agree to see "some of the loonier ones" on a one-on-one basis. Sidney agrees.
As Sgt. Zale and Igor (Peter Reigert) prepare a fire to burn some bug-infested uniforms outside, Margaret comes to visit Sidney. She ends up talking about Winchester the whole time, insisting that she's not at all interested him, in any way.
Winchester is next, and says the same thing about Margaret. They both end up saying so much Sidney barely has room to say anything but sit and listen.
The patient Sidney was treating, Tom, is bright and cheery with Hawkeye and B.J., but when he talks to Sidney is nasty and angry. Sidney is saddened at this response, and goes back to his tent.
Klinger arrives to talk, saying he's really worried he's going crazy--that this whole "I'm crazy" bit isn't an act anymore. Sidney assures him that, deep down, he's okay.
Zale and Igor's bonfire has grown exponentially, to where its a giant pile of random objects. Potter disapproves, and tells them to pull all that stuff off the pile, but then Sidney councils him that this fire must just be the pressure valve they need and that Potter was looking for. Potter reverses his order, and commissions one "Grade A" bonfire. The camp cheers in glee.
Radar then turns to Sidney for his advice, worried about his reliance on his teddy bear. Like with Klinger, Sidney assures Radar that he's fine, and that once he's home, away from all this "mud, blood, and death" he probably won't need it anymore.
Before Sidney's patient Tom is about to be shipped out, Hawkeye and B.J. ask him to talk to Sidney one more time. He agrees, but once again his cheery, jokey disposition changes abruptly when Sidney arrives, and he refuses to give Sidney any sort of comfort.
Sidney, a bit despondent, is then visited by Father Mulcahy, who is the one to dispense comfort. He talks Sidney into coming outside and participate in the bonfire, which he does, adding his trousers to the effort.
The fire is lit, and the 4077 stays up, late into the night, singing songs together as they watch it burn.
Fun Facts: Actor Peter Reigert (Boone in Animal House) plays a character listed on the credits as Igor, who is of course normally played by Jeff Maxwell.
The patient treated by Sidney is played by Michael O'Keefe, who played a soldier with the exact same problem in the Season Three episode "Mad Dogs and Servicemen."
Favorite Line: Klinger, when talking to Sidney about why he hates being here, says its because he doesn't want to be killed, watch someone else get killed, or be the one who's doing the killing, his voice getting angrier and firmer: "...and I don't want to be told how to do it to somebody else, and I ain't gonna, period, that's it, I'm gettin' out!"
We all know Hawkeye's main reason why he hates the war, and to a lesser extent we've seen each of the main objections of the other characters, but in this exchange we see what offends Klinger the most: the idea that someone would ask him to kill someone else. Its a great sequence, a great insight to what is normally a lighter character, the lines perfectly delivered by Jamie Farr.
