Original Air Date: 3/1/82
Written by: Dennis Keonig
Directed by: Charles S. Dubin
It's promotion time again, and Hawkeye, B.J., and Winchester are put in charge of the review process, selecting candidates to be recommended for promotion.
Many of the enlisted men try and curry favor by being extra helpful and polite, some with outright bribery (Igor prepares Hawkeye and B.J.'s favorite food for lunch, for example).
But one of them tries a more direct route: Cpl. Hitalksi (John Matuszak), who is a mountain of a man, finds Winchester and asks to be recommended. When Winchester points out Hitalski's record of brawling has already disqualified him, he threatens Winchester with, as Winchester puts it, "a fist the approximate size of Ohio."
The three doctors put together a quiz on Army protocol, and all the candidates fail miserably--except for Klinger, who aces every question. Hawkeye, B.J., and Winchester are so impressed they break into a round of applause.
Winchester tries to turn to Hawkeye and B.J. for help with Hitalski, but they point out that even if they went along and recommended Hitalski, Potter would bounce it. And even if he didn't, I-Corps would. That leaves Winchester with not a lot of good options.
A few days later, the promotion list is released, and Klinger has been promoted to Sergeant! He, Hawkeye, and B.J. are overjoyed, but its not good news for everyone--Winchester's cot is already empty.
Hitalski nevertheless finds Winchester (hiding in Post Op), and is about to punch his lights out when Hawkeye, B.J., and Klinger bust in. They tell Hitalski a supplemental list came out, with him on it! They also tell him that Hitalksi is being transferred back to the States, and they rush him into a jeep and out of camp.
Winchester is stunned at the turn of events, then watches Klinger call the MPs, and inform them that there's a Cpl. Hitalski, who just threatened to beat up an officer and is carrying forged travel papers, on the way down the road. The MPs promise to arrest Hitalski, much to the relief of everyone.
Fun Facts: There's a B-plot about Col. Potter and the bond he forms with a young solider who wants to join the Bomb Disposal Unit just to feel more like a man. Potter treats him like the son he never had, even though the show stated he had a son in seasons four and five.
Favorite Line: After blowing Hawkeye's chances with a nurse, Rizzo defends himself in his particular Nawlins patois: "I was jus' tryin' to hep!"
Hawkeye, angrily: "I don't need your hep!"
You know, I think we all can agree that Winchester is more at home with a bottle of cognac than in fisticuffs with a RA dude, but it seems that this angle never played out well to Stiers' talent or vision of the character.
ReplyDeleteThe interesting, well presented guest characters also by now seem to have vanished; Hitalksi is amusing, but a cartoon. Klinger's plot to get Hitalksi out of the camp also seems a little pat- no one would double check obviously bogus orders (even in this army?)
The B-plot rolls along well, even if tends to lack any real tension.