Episode 77 - Hey, Doc

Season 4, Episode 77: Hey, Doc
Original Air Date: 10/10/75
Written by: Rick Mittleman
Directed by: William Jurgensen

There's a late night poker game in The Swamp, involving Hawkeye, B.J., Radar, Father Mulcahy, Klinger, and Sgt. Kimble (Bruce Kirby), who ends up the big winner.

After the game breaks up, Kimble asks Hawkeye and B.J. for a favor--would they be willing to certify that he has an inner-ear dysfunction, keeping him from going home on a plane, which would mean he's going home by boat.

Why does he care? Well, Kimble is carting home "a couple of thousand pounds" worth of Korean and Army stuff, just enough so he can open up a Korean cafe at home.

Hawkeye and B.J. are up for it, but Kimble's paperwork needs three doctor's signatures, and they assure him that the "hopelessly honest" Potter won't go along with it, and its not even worth considering that Frank would.

But they feel they have to try, when they find their microscope has been stolen, and Kimble says he might be able to score a new one. Hawkeye and B.J. ask Frank to sign, trying to reason with him that if they fake Kimble's profile, the 4077th gets the new microscope, which it dearly needs.

Frank doesn't care, and refuses to sign. This enrages Hawkeye, and it leads to an argument, getting them nowhere.

Meanwhile, a Colonel Griswald (Frank Marth) arrives in camp, visiting his wounded troops. He's a gruff, tank-driving kind of guy, but he's vulnerable enough to ask Hawkeye for a medical favor--could he help Griswald take care of a little "social problem" he picked up, and not mention it on his service record? Hawkeye agrees.

Later, a sniper starts firing on the 4077th, leaving Hawkeye and B.J. holed up in Col. Potter's office. Potter says a tank would help scare the sniper away, so Hawkeye calls Griswald, calling in his favor, asking him to borrow one of his tanks.

Griswald arrives, leaving the tank behind. Frank, bothered by Hot Lips' romantic interest in Griswald, tries to act macho by climbing into the tank, insisting he knows how to drive it.

He starts the tank, but quickly loses control of it, and it veers wildly around the compound, smashing several tents, and even Col. Potter's jeep (which he solemnly shoots "dead", like an old cavalry man would do with a wounded horse).

Finally, he gets it to stop, and Potter is furious. Hawkeye and B.J. cover for him, saying that it was Frank who jumped in and stopped the tank. Potter barely buys it, but its enough that Frank feels guilted into signing Kimble's profile, assuring that the 4077th will get a new microscope.


Fun Facts: There's a sweet moment during Frank's spin in the tank. Hot Lips runs up to Potter, exclaiming, "Col. Potter, save us!", one of the first indications that she looked to Col. Potter as a heroic father figure.


Favorite Line: As the sniper fires away, Radar is trying to call for help. On the phone as a bunch of shots are fired nearly right into the office, Radar says to the person on the other end of the phone: "Hey, listen, can you speak up? Somebody's trying to kill me."